Ask A Pisces Man Mailbag November 17, 2011

Kelly Asks:

hi Alan,

I’ve been dating with pisces man for almost one year, we have long distance relationship for 7 months, before long distance we date same as another couples for 4 months without physical contact, he’s approached me n tell love first to me n from beginning relationship i told him our basic relationship is trust, believe n respect, he’s very open to me since i told that n what I do to him, he do that to me too..he changes me n I changes him become better person without we realised..since long distance he rarely contact me..we contact only with text n FB..I love him so I always expressed my love with poem and how i feel with text..almost everyday I send him that but sometimes I feel down when he didn’t contact me at all for 2 months..

but I never give up..until one day i push him to tell me why u didn’t contact me, n he told me honestly he didn’t feel in love with me again,he said deeply sorry to me when he said that, because we’ve been so long not seeing each other..at that time I told him, okay we separate, but i never give up on you, i don’t want to lie to myself that i’m still in love with you, i’ll meet u someday, if until then u still single, i’ll make you love me again..

i don’t know where i have that power can said that..haha…it makes him surprised..since then he try hardly to learn about skype thing, program..actually he don’t like about computer stuff, but he tried for me, he’s contact me with skype now and he ‘s told me he love me so much, n he never change how he look at me n we still in relationship, but no contact again for a week now….. so this the question: what should I do to keep this pisces man he’s 28/2, i’m 4/5?would u give me advice?

Is he serious with me (i want to know your opinion)? why sometimes he feel passionate n after that missing for days? sometimes i want to ignore him when he come back but I cant, i don’t like to hurt him, i believe in karma..so if he’s disappear I’m busying myself but never forget to send him poem n simple lovely text.. to be honest I don’t know about relationship at all, I’m still learn about it, I can catch that man,easy, but maintaining n keep the relationship is the hard thing to do, it’s almost drain my blood..haha..Thanks..

Kelly,

To me it honestly sounds like while he enjoys various aspects of having you around in his life it’s mainly for the moment. I would say generally if a person truly wants and loves you they will take initiative in wanting to be with you. I would dare to say he can say he loves you but he doesn’t really know the meaning of the word, so to speak. It’s more as if he “likes” you.

There is the other side of it where it’s possible he is just super shy, but that is doubtful since you mentioned he said to you straight up that one time he told you that he didn’t feel like he love you anymore. Again, like that it reconfirms my thoughts that he basically just enjoys various moments in being with you at this point. Whether or not you want to continue with an effort to convince him otherwise to take it more seriously is up to you of course.

Maria Navarro asks:

Hello:

I have a question for you and I hope you can give me clues.

I met this Piscis guy online. Well he actually added me on facebook and sent me a “poke” first. He saw me on one fan page we both like (animal conservation).

We’ve been chating for at least 4 months now. We talk a lot! Like about everything! we laugh a lot, i feel we have such a good chemistry!

We had a skype session the other day and I just can say he looks my prince charming reincarnated! haha I am head over heels for this guy.

But I can’t tell if he likes me back? He is always sending me comments about my pictures, we even call names, sweet names at each other (that we only secretly know) we flirt…and i know he is truly interested in my life. But I don’t know If he is just being friendly or what? He never tells me things like…i like you, or you are so pretty or stuff like that. He just spends time with me “on chat or email”.

And after all this months, the skype session he asked me for that and we had the same chemistry we have when we just write emails.

Almost 2 months ago I asked him if he would be interested in a more romantic relationship with me. He said that Is not that “it can’t” happen, but that since we don’t know each other in person, how can you be so sure about the feelings.

I don’t know what to do. I feel I am getting a little anxious where I want to talk to him more closely..in a more romantic way. But i don’t know what to think?

Can you tell if this guy likes me? What can i do for him to open up? I don’t want to say anything again to him. But I just wished I had a clue about it and know if i am losing my time having hopes that he one day will say: Maria, I am crazy for you let’s meet!

What should I do in general?

Thanks!!

Maria

Maria,

It’s kind of interesting when I read your message because if I was in that situation as the guy I would have probably said something very similar to that. That’s actually a good sign as that means he is obviously factoring how realistic this all is in many ways. Because we all know that when people get along everything seems so great. It’s when you get into things like a dispute is when you start seeing how well people really are with each other.

I would say for sure he likes you. The best way to approach this in my view if you are trying to make this more of a reality where you two will be physically together is to see if you can think of some kind of event in life that you would be interested in attending and tell him about it. Then after see how he reacts. For example, if this is a long distance thing maybe you are visiting a place close to him and tell him about it. Don’t say you are doing it for him of course. If the person is seriously interested in you they will start to suggest things such as how you are so close to them and will then think of ideas on how to actually be with you.

Other than that, it sounds like you are doing okay just by the open communication that you two have.

Lela Asks:

Hi,

My Pisces and I have been dating for about nine months. We tried doing the long distance thing during this time, and I told him I didn’t want to know about his past. I just wanted us to start with whatever happens with us forward, like a clean slate. He would call me ten times a day, text me without fail, etc for like three months. Then slowly it started getting less and less. I would fight with him often despite him telling me he didn’t like to argue because he wasn’t being as attentive as before and he never dealt with the issues we had. He would text now and then, forget about what I had talked to him before, our conversations would start then stop in between many times because something was always wrong with his phone. I think this didn’t help our situation.

Anyway, while we dated he had a lot of financial issues. I questioned him about them, but because I was already in love with him I did whatever he ask me. Whatever he needed I did or provided. Two months ago he told me he decided to move where I lived to be with me. I was the only girl he has been with that was his “ride or die” chick and no one has been there for him as much as I have. I was happy so I looked for a place for us to be together, helped pay for his down payment for his new car he was planning on moving over with. I even helped him pay for his first car payment that he couldn’t make on his own. Through out our relationship I had invested my time, heart, and money into this guy. But like I mentioned he was always “swimming away”. The day he was suppose to move here, he never picked up my calls or answered my texts. I call his best friend who tells me my Pisces wasn’t moving anywhere and that he had a child.

I was devastated. I already put the deposit down on the new place I intended he and I to start our life together, and not once had he mentioned to me that he had a kid. His friend tried to explain to me maybe my Pisces didn’t know how to tell me he wasn’t moving, or about his child. His friend felt sorry for me because I told him how much I helped my Pisces out and was there for him every time something was going on, only for me to find out he deceived me. His friend tried to tell me not to completely cancel my Pisces out of my life. My Pisces decides to call me the next morning very sorry he hurt me telling me I deserve better than him and he couldn’t sleep all night. He cried most of the night knowing he hurt the one person who had been there for him. He told me he didn’t know how to tell me he had a child and that when he saw his child he saw himself and couldn’t leave his kid. I told him he lied to me the entire time we dated. Not once mentioned to me he had a child. I told him had he been honest from the start I would have accepted he had a child and I would never ask him to move away from his child. It was very overwhelming for me because my Pisces made so many promises to me in the beginning and during our rough patches of our relationship. Being that we were apart and he did nothing to follow through with what he promised. He only would say he got me, don’t worry about it, etc… After all this he ask me if he and I can still be friends because I am one of the most important people in his life and he can’t see his life without me in it. I’m upset over the deception and he caused and he still wants my friendship after hurting me?

I couldn’t answer him right then and there. But I text him later and said I couldn’t be his friend. He text me back that he is so very sorry about my feelings, but he couldn’t let me go. A few days later I text him and told him I would be his friend, but I wasn’t ready to talk to him and to leave me be until I could get over him. Now I’m kind of regretting it because I want him to give me back some stuff I paid for him and some of the money I helped him with while we dated. He hasn’t gotten back to me about those things. Honestly it’s not about any of the money or things I bought for him, just the fact that he lied about so many things while we were together and I was honest the whole time. I’m wondering if It’s better I just not ask him for anything back because he never came through for me before anyways. Help me!

Lela,

It sounds like he basically saw this relationship as an opportunity to use you for resources in an effort to fix whatever problems he has accumulated as a result of his actions in life. In many ways, if you keep going back to him then it is simply encouraging him to do it, in my opinion. I can easily see this as a situation too where if he did say move with you, once he is back on his feet he will make all the excuses not to be with you.

The way I see it too, if he was willing to hide details like him having a child what else does he have in the closet? If I were you I would suggest just moving forward as it seems to me he is trying to use you. Focus your energy and resources with someone that will give you what you need as well. Relationships should be about both parties giving each other something that makes them better I say and not just one person giving everything to the other only.

Kimberly Asks:

Hi, I have been in an off and on relationship with the guy I’m madly in love with for about a year. We are both 19, pisces and we are also in college. I just really wanna know am I wasting my time with him. Like he tellls me that I’m the girl he is gonna marry and we talk about our future and how we want to be together. Right now it is kinda hard to keep our relationship constant because the timing with us is so not right. We both are attending school in the same state but were also from another state which we both grew up in. I will be graduating this coming March and he have a whole year left and he is asking me to stay here until he graduate but idk if iit would be the smart thing to do even though my heart tells me to do so. He even said that he wants us to move together and if he moves out of state somewhere he wants me to go with him. I’m just lost and would like someone opinion, a mans opinion on my situation…..

Kimberly,

It’s kind of hard to say what you should do as ultimately the choice is yours. But in general I would say the both of you would need to sit down and start getting realistic with some things. For example, you say he wants you to just move with him. Did he ever factor in what you need for say your career and aspirations outside of the relationship you have with him? Would you be happy in moving wherever he is going for example?

With the point that you mentioned it has been an on and off relationship too makes me stress that you two definitely need to be more realistic and open with each other in terms of how things will work in the long term. It’s not going to be pretty if say you moved with him and then say you two decide to break the relationship. If he is serious in being with you too these are things he should be happy to discuss about. Don’t be afraid of asking him the hard questions too as if he doesn’t really have a vision on how it is going to work in the long term then I would worry.