pisces man confusing
Reader Questions

Ask A Pisces Man Mailbag October 9, 2011

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Susanah Asks:

Hey alan,

I wanted to ask you about a guy…he’s smaller than me about 3 years, I’m 17 now, and he kissed me the other day i just froze so i didn’t get the chance to stop him, but then i said it was weird how he’s smaller than me and everything then he said you can forget that i ever kissed you, but the point is i feel like he just wanted to do it for fun…and it kinda hurts so i was wondering what your thought on this stituation was..are boys always like this?

Susanah,

It’s kind of hard to determine exactly what is going on as I don’t really know to what extent in regards to the relationship that you two have with each other. For example, is this a person you have known for a long time? Is it a person that you normally just cross paths with daily? But typically speaking by the sounds of it, it would seem like he took the comment very personal in a way like if a guy stereotypically told a girl “It looks like you have been eating too much” as a way to imply weight.

Speaking for myself, I can’t say “boys are always like that” as for me I am more on the reserved side. There is no way I would just go around kissing a girl for fun in that situation for example as if it was like a pat on the back as to me it signifies something more. So if the person had my type of personality then it was not a joke and that comment you gave him told him that you did treat it as a joke. Hence, the response of you can just forget that he ever kissed you. Course, as usual the key is communication I say. Talk to him about it.

Amy Asks:

Hi Alan,

Im a Pisces girl, (17) and im very interested in a Pisces guy of the same age. Im a little oblivious sometimes (lost in thought generally) so im not sure if hes flirting with me or not, he recognizes me from a mile away (almost literally) and hes always blushing when people make remarks about us. he knows im interested, and i flirt very openly with him. does he like me back or am i just fooling myself again?

Amy,

Generally speaking, if a person recognizes and acknowledges your presence then there is some kind of interest. I think you are just “fooling” yourself if you see that the person keeps doing things to hurt you as oppose to embrace you. Example, like it could be if you were flirting with him he consistently does pranks to embarrass you in-front of people. Then when it is just you two it’s like he treats you so well and different. Course that is just a very broad example, but that’s where you have to do some analysis to see what kind of actions he consistently does when he is around you.

Kangourou Asks:

I’m a Pisces Sun, Cancer ascendant, Leo Moon. The generic descriptions of my sun sign point out that Pisces are generally inclined to be gullible and easily taken advantage of by other people. Sometimes I feel this is the case for me, as I’ve had a number of people shamelessly walk all over me to get what they want.

I have a few questions: as a Pisces man, how do you resist attempts to manipulate you ? When you want people to do what you want, do you ever find yourself using certain persuasive or manipulative tactics ? If so, what are they ?

Finally, what is a Pisces man’s strength ? Because from generic descriptions, astrology writers imply that he is fundamentally weak and easily railroaded :/

Kangourou,

The first thing I always say is that people are the way they are based on items like life experience. How savvy you are in being able to read another person, determining if you are being taken advantage of and so fourth is all based on your knowledge and what you have experienced personally.

How do I resist attempts to manipulate myself? Generally speaking, it’s simply understanding myself very well and understanding the underlying cause of what the other person wants. Let’s use something as mundane such as alcohol. I don’t drink personally and yet in life there are always people that try to convince me otherwise to do it with reasons such as it will benefit me in a good way or that it is “cool” to do so.

Like for that the first thing is I clearly understand why I don’t want to get into it in the first place. Two big reasons are it is a money sink I feel and that to my knowledge drinking that stuff makes you vulnerable in a way. Now take a person that is sitting there trying to convince me otherwise that it is good, a little won’t hurt and so fourth. My first thought is why do you want me to drink it so much? Usually in that scenario I understand that it’s not me you are necessarily looking out for but rather to that person it’s a challenge. So understanding that thought enables me to put less weight into their tactics and ultimately being less gullible.

In terms of hoping to get people to do what I want, for me in life it’s mostly lead by example. I am usually a bit more passive personally. Example, a person raises their voice and starts shouting at you. Many would simply yell back in hopes that if they yell loud enough they will over power them. For myself, I would rather have them yell at me to the point where they see themselves how irrational it is while I myself am simply trying to talk peacefully.

In regards to strength, again everyone is different as we all don’t have the same experiences. For myself I would say some of my biggest strengths, not talking about say technical or trade skills, is the level of loyalty and compassion that I have for others. I personally feel that strength is what enables me to really focus in helping to understand people while being persistent in going through the best and worst of times. As well, I think I have a good balance when it comes to being able to dream big while at the same time factoring what is realistic based on facts.

I know with that it completely contradicts generic descriptions as I usually read things like Pisces are simply dreamers and are not realistic. Again, I don’t think you can give blanket answers as we all grew up differently which is ultimately how we developed to who we are I say.

Tricia Asks:

Hi Alan,

I have posted a comment before but didn’t get a response… maybe you haven’t seen it yet but I really appreciate if you could help.. Thanks.

Hello.. I recently met a Pisces guy and I have some doubt on whether he likes me or not… I’ve met him on a Friday night and the following morning he texted me and I texted him back, then he didn’t text me back until like 12 hours later and asked me where I would be when I go out that night and he would come by and see me. The thing is, when he came by we didn’t even talk and I was a bit drunk and gave him so rude attitude. He texted me again in the morning and said hopefully he and I will at least talk next time.. but never asked me out… I responded and said I had no problem talking, then this guy waited for another 10 hours to send me a text at night and asked me how I was feeling cuz I said I was a bit sick on my facebook status…

and after a month.. he still hasn’t asked me out officially.. I would get texts from him to see if I was around the area when he goes out.. one time I got a text from him on a Tue that said “Have you even been to this xxx bar? well I’m going for happy hours on Friday… you should come”… The thing is, I said I couldnt’ make it ’cause I have yoga class to attend.. (because I really didn’t want to miss yoga class and I didn’t know whether he was asking me out.. to meet up with his friends, to bring my friends, or just meet randomly) …

and after that.. we bumped into each other at a party and we were literally 50ft distance apart… and we’ve never made any eye contact and he never came to say hi to me. All he did was flirting or chatting up other girls in front of me, knowing I was just 50ft away from him..

So I really don’t know what is his feelings for me now… Is he over me already? or he’s just not quite interested in me?

Thanks

T

Tricia,

To me it sounds like he is interested in you but at the same time he is trying to imply to you that he isn’t “desperate” as he doesn’t want to make himself look like a beggar, so to speak. I say this because all that communication expresses interest. And by the sounds of it his intents that he proposed to be with you has been repeatedly rejected.

So to me, him flirting with those girls while being close to you is a passive aggressive way to “get even” as he feels a bit frustrated that you have been rejecting him so much. So it’s like his way of trying to make himself feel good for once. Of course, this is mostly assumption based on what I read here. But to me that is the most probable scenario.

Does he still like you? I would be inclined to say yes as if what I am thinking is right it’s almost like a situation where you know this awesome store that has been great but the last two times the shopping experience was bad. So then what you do is you shop somewhere else and then publicly leave a review rating where that old company can read it as you want to get it through to them that there are other opportunities out there and that you want them to recognize that and to start treating you better as you do genuinely want to go back but can’t continue if they keep treating you bad.

Depending on how bitter he is he may play hard to get now. But it comes down to how worth it he is to you to try and pursue as well as expressing your genuine interest for him.

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4 Comments

  • tricia October 11, 2011

    Hi Alan,
    Thank you so much for your response.
    Regarding to your answers… You said I have “rejected” him couple times already… so is it what the Pisces guys normally do when they try to show they’re interested – Instead of formally asking a girl out, they would say, “hey I’m going to this place, you should join” that sort of invitations?
    Also, we haven’t talked for about a week already because we had a fight, and he wanted to keep a distance from me. Because after the drama when he picked up girls he did asked me what I expected from him.. he asked “sex, relationship, or friendship”. I said “none of the above” and got a bit uspet with him. He didnt’ explain himself much.. instead he just told me to delete his number and keep a distance from him. So from a pisces guy’s perspective, did he really mean it and is there anything I could do to turn this whole situation around?
    Thanks,
    T

  • Alan October 18, 2011

    Tricia,

    I can’t give a blanket label for everyone as everyone is different, but speaking for myself if I show interest in someone then I usually do it in the invitation way. Even for myself I never ask the person directly like “Do you want to go out on a date” but rather maybe something like “There’s a cool event happening. Are you interested in going?” Why? Guess the biggest reason is with my personality I am more reserved and want to observe things naturally. Saying things like “Go on a date” usually makes people act differently and so with that you can’t really get a true sense of who they are I feel

    If he was that blunt in asking if you wanted “sex, relationship, or friendship” then it usually means he likes you in some ways but won’t make the effort to fight for your affection as for whatever reason he is not motivated to do so.

    As to whether or not he really meant it when he said keep a distance it really depends on how you said “none of the above” as that could easily come across to him as a “could care less” type of approach. In that case I would say he really did mean it.

    If you are still perusing him I would say give it some time to cool off. Then find an event that you think he would like and invite him to it. What reaction he gives you then will say everything.

  • Sei March 24, 2012

    If you could help me solve this curiosity of mine? ASAP!
    My friendship to him dated back in Dec 2010.

    I have met this Pisces Male via Internet (Facebook) usual. He live half way from this world. His attractive so I took my 1st move and I know- it sound silly to some but I message him saying ”I like him” without hesitation 😳 he reply saying ”Let’s be friend” I instantly said YES saying Its not a problem for me to be his friend since I just realize my mistake, I understand his intuitiveness and I know he imply me to be his friend not a lover.

    After that he never reply to my previous message after accepting his Friendship but I still approach him by chat saying Hi and How was everything etc. a very typical questions since its my 1st time to approach a guy that really strike me from the beginning. He replies but he keep it short, then vanish saying BYE so i took it as a negative draw as his friend. But at the same time I did blame myself because maybe I was too pushy and scare him away (creepy haa?)
    For his own good I deleted him on my list since it was a childish approach of mine to like someone like that but still i regret and a bit of pain too. It literally took him a while for him to reply before he realize I deleted him saying ”Maybe I was giving you a hard time” I was so angry, sad but at the same time I feel bad to him, blaming himself for losing a friend. I replied but I was an idiot and mean to him so he didn’t reply back at all until i approach him again but this time I was Sorry but still our communication is running low since I don’t know how to bring such conversation to this gentleman that is so friendly & Funny to everyone. So i don’t know if he really meant to be my friend or not since he knows I like him still holding my feelings for 1/2 years now and he left me wondering but we still keep in touch ( we still do) but he really took a while to reply my messages. All I can think now is that I’m doing it all alone and working too hard to our friendship and I know his a Pisces and I’m Scorpio Female. I was curious does he have feelings for me, maybe his carefully holding it back and making sure this is it/ maybe his not interested at all? or his very very shy? HELP!

    I’m still waiting for his reply up till now and his always in my thoughts. 😕

  • chris April 20, 2012

    hi! im an aries female (19) and for about a year id get on the local buss that stopped right infront of school. and this guy would just stare at me. i had my raybans on most of the time but i could still see him stare at me, constantly. new semester came along and i had afternoon classes that ended at night, so again i would ride the buss and i started to see him stare at me again. one night, it had been raining, and i sat dwn, and the buss filled up, so when he got on, he actually had to stand, and he stood right infront of me. because it was night time, i didnt wear my glasses and i could feel him staring strait at me. i finanly turned casually and stared strait at him. and he quickly looked away! i couldnt help but giggle just alittle. i mean c’mon, this guy has been studying my face for alittle over a yr now. so i giggled, and he obviously heard me giggle and he smiled, wasnt looking at me, but knew i saw him smile. a minute later an old women got on and couldnt find a seat, i felt awful so i got up and she sat dwn. and now i was standing right in front of mister pisces. i couldnt help but blush and smile because this guy was an alright lookin guy, who was also about 6’4 and myself being 5’10, i found him to be pretty cute. then we came to a stop, and i grabbed my umbrella before it flew out of the opening door, and he thought i was getting ready to leave, as if that were my stop, so he all of sudden finally spoke and said, “im srry but ill hate myself forever if i dnt at least get your name” he took out his hand and introduced himself “my names jo and i just cant help but feel drawn to you, if this is your stop, can i at least have your name?” OMGoodness! i mean i got so gaw damn red and completely off guard, i was speachless for the very first time! lol well the doors closed and he looked dwn at me, and i looked up to him, holding his hand in mid air, and all i could say was “that wasnt my stop” with a big smile on my face. my dimples were completely showing by now! me being an aries female, i have only dreampt of a tall deep voiced man to come up to me and something along those lines. lol and so, after i told him that wasnt my stop, he smiked and said “well this is akward” and there he was, and there i was. and there we were smiling like idiots and all of the passengers surrounding us were aware of what had just happened. so aware that this couple got up and told jo to sit because they were getting off at the next stop. he looked dwn at me and asked if i would like to sit with him. in this somekind of perfect gentleman voice and gesture? i still couldnt speak, i just sat dwn by the window seat. and now there i was, sitting next to a man that had been staring at me for the past year and finally on this rainy day he decides to not only intriduce himself in the cutest fucking way ever, like some shet you see out of the movies, but he was a perfect genuine gentlmen. it oozed out of him effortlessly. he had me blushing thee entire time we talked. and me being so blunt, i couldnt help but tell him that i couldnt stop blushing. and he says “thats fine, i think your pink cheeks and dimples are adorable, i could sit here all day and continue to make you blush my dear”. ahhhhhhh! i mean this guy is just ughhhhh i was like, why did you wait a yr to talk to me?! lol but all that changed when i, an aries female misunderstood a stupid fucking txt and i tried to ask what he meant by it and i believe i hurt his feelings. and because he wasnt talking to me, basically ignoring me, i was offended and i stopped talking to him alltogether. i was angry and stupid and stubborn at the time. (almost all the time) and now its been 3 moths and i cant, i just cant, or i just dont understand how this could have happened. he just completely ignored me, so i ignored him, and he didnt want to talk about what exactly had happened between us? i tried to talk to him, thats all i wanted. i remember sending something like, is this really it? why wont you talk to me? and his last reply was, “i dnt know” and that was it. that was the end of it all. and its been 3 months, no communication, no eye contact, nothing. i dnt even have his number, all i know is where he works? but what good is that? and he, he also knows where i go to school? why hasnt he tried to get me back? i just dont know if he cant truly be over me, and moved on in 3 months. it doesnt seem right to me that this pisces man that stared at me for a year, finally spoke to me 5 months ago, and after two months of just jokes hugs kisses sleepovers movienights and countless dates to the beach and all the romantic moments we shared, and there were so many, how could all that be gone just like that? we never even had sex, it was just amazing being in love and learning eachother and feeling your heart beat so fast and so hard that you couldnt imagine anyone else taking his place.. i dnt know what to do. it 2:54 am and i cant sleep, i cant stop thinking if hes thinking of me or if hes moved on or if im just the only heart broken sucker out of the two of us.

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