Ask A Pisces Man Mailbag – September 8, 2014

Carol Asks:

I’ve been texting a Pisces man for one year and three months were very connected we became soulmates we talk for hours and we text every day during this time we have not really sick pictures but I did send him a picture he always like blondes so I sent him a picture of a blonde but it wasn’t me we just recently talked about it and I told him it wasn’t me he told me that you can’t trust me and I asked if he was going to leave me he said that he could never trust me again this just happened today can he ever forgive me Heavyset that I deceived him in the Pisces don’t like to be like two is there any chance that he’ll come back I will not contact him apologize so many times during our conversations before he said it didn’t matter what we look like just give me some insight on this it’s hurting me I know I shouldn’t of done it

Carol,

I would imagine that he would be a little embarrassed in essentially being duped emotionally, so to speak. Using myself as an example, I tend to have a very loyal personality which comes with an extra “wall” that a person needs to breakdown to get me to trust them emotionally. Compared to other people, think of a lie like that as adding another eight layers of wall.

So it’s not impossible, but you really have to show you are a different person through your actions in life I say. In my opinion, it’s not an “apology” that is needed but rather it’s a lifestyle change that one needs to see that is completely different.

Luna Asks:

I’m in need of your personal opinion of what to do. Should I move on or is he just in need of space?
I use to work with this Pisces guy and instantly I felt a connection. I’m a Cancer and I just felt like he understood everything I felt without either of us even speaking, it’s one of my favorite things about him.

Well, we hit it off instantly. We would talk and joke around all day at work, I couldn’t wait to go in the next day so we could do it again. He asked me multiple times to hang out outside of work. The first time I turned him down because at the time I was dating someone else and was already planning to break it off because he had cheated. My Pisces guy completely understood and was fine with it, he then asked again a few times after I broke up with the other guy and I always already had plans. The first time we actually hung out we went to dinner then went back to my place and chilled and just talked and watched a movie. I sent him a text after he left to let him know I had a good time but he didn’t reply. The next day at work he was super flirty and enjoyable.

But I didn’t hear from him for weeks unless we were at work then we would flirt and stuff. We didn’t hang out again for about a month and that time we just sat on the couch and watched tv, he actually opened up a bit and we cuddled for a while which was lovely because when he touches me it sends this electric pulse feeling through my whole body. We were suppose to hang out a few days after that but he said he wanted to go back home for the day and he was sorry for backing out. Which i said was completely fine, I understand wanting to go home for the day and be with family, I’ll just see him at work. A few days passed and I send him a text asking when he was going to make it up to me for the other day and he asked what i wanted to do so we had a chat about it which turned into sex talk and he told me he has wanted to hook up with me for a while now.

I asked if that’s all he wanted and he said no we were just talking about it so i thought id put it out there. Two days after that he found out that in the past I dated a guy who was mix raced and called me repulsive, he didn’t speak to me for a few days because of it and i still don’t know where i stand with him because of it. He has spoken to me since but not about that. I sent him a text a few days ago telling him I miss seeing him everyday but he didn’t reply.

He did talk to me on Facebook that day though. I’m confused on where to go from here. Do I send him a text? Do I let it go and move on? I don’t see him everyday now that school has started again and he has a different job. We are both in college and schedules are rough. Any ideas on what to do or how to move forward in our friendship/ relationship. I really like him a lot and would like to be with him but i’m not sure if he is ready to commit or if he even wants to be in a relationship because it kind of sounds like he just wants something casual.

I’m not sure though because at the same time he has opened up to me about so many things with his family and stuff and his friends tell me that he doesn’t tell anyone anything, he is very secretive with things. They kept coming to me to ask what was going on between us and I honestly don’t know what to tell them because I don’t know myself…. please help the best you can. Thank You.

Luna,

Well, the main note that stuck out to me was how you mentioned that when he found out you went out with a person of a mixed race he called you “repulsive”. Everyone has their own opinions in life of course, but I would assume for some reason that is a big deal with him? If I were you I would try to find out more on why he would make a comment like that and whether or not that is something you are willing to compromise for a friendship or relationship.

For example, if someone was extremely religious to the extreme where they detest everyone but those who practice their religion would that be acceptable to you? If you say his friends keep asking you about him which you don’t know I don’t see the harm in asking them why he would make comments like those for you to discover if he is truly someone you want to pursue. Just one of those situations where the hormones have to put aside while focusing on the facts. Whether or not you should move on is up to you if you tolerate his ideologies in life or not once you find out what that is I think.

Vanessa Asks:

After reading, You seem to provide great insite!

I need some advice on a pisces and im hopeful you can help.

I am a libra girl and I met this guy at work that im interested in. Initially I wasn’t into him so much, until his desk was placed beside me and we got to talking. I didn’t think much into it. I found that he had recently been looking into bible studies and I found that attractive, and slowly began building up a small crush. But nothing I read to much into. I was excited when he added me on his fb, being as that he didn’t add Any of our other work associates.

So I managed to message him, with the excuse of asking for.inspirational movie recommendations. He messaged back with a few movie titles, and asked if everything was ok. I told him I was having a weird day, since I was recently single. He said he was also. And he added that he had a hard time with his breakup. I told him that I was interested in getting to know him. He said he wanted to get to know me also. We wrote each other via fb periodically for about a month. I finally mentioned hanging out. He agreed, but we never set a time.

When I brought it up again, he stopped writing me. He finally wrote back a day later and apologized for late delay and said that he wants to get to know me, but he isn’t ready to hang out, due to his recent breakup. I said that’s ok , no big deaL. He said that he still wanted to get to know me.from there , they had moved him away from my desk at work, to the other end of the building. We continued to write via fb, but I never wrote him unless he wrote me. One day he wrote that he doesn’t know why he never gave me his number , and its a better way to get a hold of him, so he gave me his number. he always made it a point to come to my desk on all his breaks and lunch. He invited me to church with him, which I went for a few weeks as well, but stopped.
He always gives mixed signals and vibes and I didn’t want to push him, which is why I try to lay off. well recently, he got drunk, and he does not drink! He text me, and started saying I was mean to him for not ever wanting to hang out. I told him I do want to! His response was to come for him then, and he started asking what I wanted to do. We started talking about how he is shy and so am I, and then he just came out and said, that he isn’t wanting a relationship , but is open to friends with benefits. I agreed cause.i really like him. We started talking in a sexual manner, which I never do! I was drunk also lol. Then we fell asleep. I woke up to a message from him stating that he wasnt himself the night prior and that he doesn’t really want to do the things we had talked about the night previously, and that for now he just wants friendship.

I laughed it off and agreed with him. Now things are weird at work. He came and gave me a hug and then walked away without conversation. Im not sure if I should just leave it as is, Give him space and let him decide what to do from here, or if he is shy about what we wrote, and I need to go to him. I have no idea what he is thinking now! Any insite?

Vanessa,

It sounded like he was pretty much giving you every single sign to grab him. It makes me think of how females usually get the advice of “He’s just not that into you” if the guy doesn’t make the first move. In my opinion, that is so not true if the person has a more shy and reserved personality. It’s almost like a stereotypical role reversal where if the guy doesn’t see the girl take initiative after he gives out all his information like this then he treats it as a form of “She’s just not that into you” phase.

I can imagine him feeling really “stupid” if he isn’t normally like that and blurted out those words. Assuming he likes you and all, in a weird way he probably wants you to pursue him even if he says he doesn’t. He simply doesn’t want to look like a “dummy” again. I would say the most comfortable and non-intrusive way is to do the activity inviting routine. Find something that you know he loves to do and make a playdate around that. If he jumps all over the idea then like any other situation it’s about seeing what chemistry develops where you don’t even really need to try if it works.

Marie Asks:

My Pisces guy broke up with me after 3 years of dating. BC I checked his voicemail an found out he lied to me about his where about an that he was still communicating with his ex….I lied to him at first an told him I rented a tracking device for a day an found out where he was. I only lied so he could tell me d truth..I told him I would never do it again an I want him bak..he said hell no…he called me a b&$$$ ..an he said I’m a stalker an us is history. Do you think we will ever get back together…..I didn’t mean to hurt him o jus wanted to c was he lieing to me or cheating.

Marie,

From what you wrote this sounds more like a trust issue topic and it’s one of those scenarios where if you can’t trust him would you be contempt in being in a relationship where you are constantly doubting the other person? This is more about you and the decision you want I feel as opposed to him and what he is thinking.

It’s pretty clear he isn’t completely happy about what he has done and at the same time being aggressive with him gives him an excuse to run away from the situation. I am not sure as to the severity of the lie of course such as if he was hiding it from you because he felt you would over react or if there was something more. This is one of those scenarios I feel where all you can do is put out the offer to communicate. If he takes it then let the repairing begin. If he doesn’t, then I think it is time to use it as a learning experience to find out what you need in a relationship to trust others and go look for it.