I am blocked everywhere by a Pisces guy, will he come back?

Rukmani Asks:

I was a very good friend with a Pisces man. We’ve been very good friends for the last few months. On and off we had arguments, heated ones, and we could piss each other off but in due course of time get back to each apologizing. With him, I have had enough of number of fights already and everytime he has come back to me forgiving. Will he come this time too?

Few days back, I had told him I like him, not too sure how he took it as and when being asked, I told him its just the friendly way and I m not looking for a relationship since neither of us were interested in it. He said its cool and left it. A day later he told me he isn’t sure on what that “I like u meant and before I could explain, he was gone. I had to ultimately leave him few msgs to explain what that like u meant. He didn’t like my long msgs and told me that he doesn’t want to talk to me since he has got too close to me nad that would become a problem later. I again explaned that I like him in a friendly way only and if I start developing extra feelings, I would be upfront and honest with it.

He suggested to cut the distance and talk to each other every fortnight. Before I could react, he told me he has uninstalled whatsapp. Last week I was in his city for work and had texted him if he was free, we could meet. My idea was to put aside everything and become frnds again like how we were. It was all cool for sometime, later it just became ugly and he said he has blocked me on whatsapp and I felt upset and he said he blocked me since he couldn’t handle the lengthy msgs I sent. I said I clarified for which he again said he wasn’t sure on the like u I said. Situations got worse between us and he said he would be leaving soon.

As he took his vehicle key out, the key slipped from his hand and landed near my feet and I playfully kept it with me saying “talk to me and go”. He was also laughing for some 5 mins then later got angry that I wasn’t giving the key back. It wasn’t my intention to keep it with me forever. He started walking away from me and I was like at least talk to me and go without walking off. He was super angry and I didn’t want him to go home in that anger and hence told him to calm down and I would give the key to him. He started dragging the bike home and started to use abusive words on me, I still held on to him urging him to calm down for 5 mins, and then go wherever he wanted to.

He started throwing things here n there and I got further worried to send him home in that condition. He collapsed angrily on the road, hit the road with his fist and started yelling at me. My only fault was I took the key and didn’t give it, since he was in a rage where he would go and hit anyone, I didn’t give it. He said he doesn’t care if I m dead or alive and I was very upset with this.

I didn’t see a car coming my way and he yelled out screaming “ do u want to get urself killed?” to which I replied, “a moment back u said u don’t care if I m dead or alive, so why bother now?” saying this I gave his key to him. He deleted my number, msgs everything from his phone and blocked me on all social networking sites. I haven’t been able to forgive myself since then. we were very good friends and cosof one stupid act, I lost him forever or so I think. How do I win him back?

I called him, but he has been avoiding my call. I sent him an apology email. I guess he hasn’t read that either. What do I do now? If heartbreaks over a love failure kills, heartbreaks over friendship kills you further. Please help. Suggest what do I do to win him back? Will he come back in the frist place maybe in due course of time. appararently, we have a huge circle and he is friends with my sister and brothers too.

Rukmani,

I am surprised you two are even friends as there sounds like so much hate between you two. Now based on what you wrote it feels like you have a very “competitive” relationship when it comes to status and authority. Now to include the part where you said you like him to me it probably came across as belittling in the sense of because this relationship is “competitive” it’s almost like the equivalent of an average Joe going up to say a stereotypical model who always gets a ton of attention and just saying “You seem okay.” You can imagine how the person could go ballistic there.

So to him what you said it’s like saying “Yeah, you are cool but not good enough to woo me buddy” sort of deal. That’s an over exaggeration to make the point. To me that makes perfect sense with everything else. It’s not that he doesn’t care but because of that he kind of needs to avoid you at the current state. Example, even that reply you said of “I thought you didn’t care” most likely came across as you trying to be “smart” to talk down to him again as if he is like say the “dumb” one. Although with what you wrote he sounds like he has some anger issues too.

There is no real such thing as “win him back” here. It’s more about “help him recover” is the better phrase I feel. With that you would kind of have to throw everything away of you wanting anything from him other than diving deeper and offering him the support in whatever way that is to allow him to walk back to you himself. I would dare to say your sister and brothers could help in that too. Example, find out the stuff he is stressing over and be that support person. Be consistent with it. Lot’s of ways to find out what that is.