Confuse!

9 Comments

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  J January 24, 2016

  I never expect him to do things, what I want to mean is if it is just social, why have the change of behaviour like 180 degree? He never turn on this mood swing behaviour to anyone else but me. Everyone say he is friendly kind gentle that have no temper! He raise his voice at me, even when something is not my fault when everyone is doing the same. He gives me a death wish stare if I am just friendly to other guys and that just send me the signal I should behave myself… if not then, he will delibrately call out my name to go over to him or he purposefully distract my attention by directing on himself. If he is my boyfriend I am fine it is cute but no… he isn’t for now. He is an odd fish as he is controlling and possesive to me. Wanting to know why I wasn’t there with him wanting me to tell him what I did with another guy in another team, asking what I think of that perso … if I answer his question then he get grumpy and walk off. But isn’t that what you ask?! But then everything in a passive aggressive way. He wants me yet don’t want me but at the same time no other guys can get to me.
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  Alan January 24, 2016

  What you wrote is kind of confusing and contradictory to me. For example, you initially mentioned that it’s not like he was rude to you yet now you mention he does things such as “raise his voice at you” or give you “death stares.” By my definition anyways those kinds of actions would be “rude” and I think you need to clarify this.

  You first message to me comes across as he is simply swaying you off in a sense and your second message makes it sound like he is abusing you, so to speak.
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  J January 24, 2016

  Raised tone but he is not shouting, so it is not consider rude to me but it is like for others he have a good tolerance level. I don’t think it is contradictory as I was giving examples.
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  Alan January 24, 2016

  You are expecting him to do things though just to be technically clear. As you stated, in your view you don’t see how he can treat you in ways based on your understanding of the situation. Hence, you are expecting him to react and do things a certain way. Example, to you saying “he will delibrately call out my name to go over to him or he purposefully distract my attention by directing on himself” like he wants to “control you” as you put it in a “you are mine” sort of deal. For all we know based on what you mentioned so far it could also mean he is trying to in a sense protect you from say “the player” yet you insist in going to them. See how subjective this can be?

  In that example I can better understand the “anger” or “annoyance” as you put it. The example would be the equivalent of like a parent wanting to protect their child yet they insist in hanging out with the group that takes drugs all day despite all the warnings and such. No difference too where people like family who are closer with each other tend to be more protective and unfiltered to each other. People don’t need to be in a girlfriend and boyfriend relationship status for this.

  Again, those are just hypothetical examples as you haven’t really given me an example on what you consider as a signal from him to make your “heart flutter”. To me it still feels like you are potentially expecting him to do things in a specific way.

  It should be pretty black and white here too. By saying “It’s not like he was rude to me but the entire feeling is off I can feel it” translates to me that he isn’t doing anything tangible where it’s all in your head and trying to translate your own “gut feeling” of the situation. Stating now that he is “controlling and possessive” is contradicting to stating that this is just say a “feeling” on your part as you are mentioning he specifically does do things to you.

  Like saying, it’s no longer a “feeling” that the person tried to hit me if he literally physically threw a rock directly at me. It all comes down to context of those questions and such too which is missing from your examples.
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  J January 25, 2016

  Thanks for explaining. You are good to the extent of a psychic. I think it is close to him trying to protect me. But those friends are not harmful as all I did and what they did was trying to be friendly and all. I am not very good in expressing what I want to say and also I see that this is a open blog so I cannot really disclose too much. But one thing I know for sure is he doesn’t like me but more like how he cares for me as a friend as compared to others who are less important. Does this lead to why he exert more control over me than others? But strange, if I am more closer, why the passiveness. He is very helpful to all, takes initiative in lending a hand but when it comes to me, he doesn’t, he ask me to go find it out myself or unless he really saw me struggling quietly then he will stand up for me. Why he make me go through the hard way… After reading more of your posts I am shock at why pisces can be so loving to all mankind. I am wondering what will pisces do if they really really love someone romantically. Will they give them the world?
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  Alan January 25, 2016

  As mentioned above, I gave you the basic hypothetical scenarios with the information you have provided where I would mostly just be repeating what I already wrote. It all comes down to context of the situation. At this point I simply don’t know if you have done anything for him too as an example.

  The general answer for a person like me is you get loyalty and in a sense a unique connection if I loved a person romantically. I would say it is usually more over the top in terms of care compared to most because a person like me is extremely “picky” where I basically bottle up my emotions in many ways until we find the right one. So it’s like that one person gets everything that has been stored up in terms of giving out love and care.
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  livi January 25, 2016

  Hello Alan!
  here is another pisces man, he got suddenly distant because he felt me cold once and he said he thought I was in an hard moment (that was true but I wanted him close) so he wanted to leave me alone for a while to let me solve my problems………. saying this to me after 2 months……. before he was telling me he had troubles to solve…. when I texted him he was answering though but rarerly him first.
  I decided to declare my feeling and before I asked him to tell me what he was feeling for me… but he was not clear… several times… after I said him that I am in love and the answer I ve got back is: mostly me too I think.. so I freaked out a bit and I said that I understood what he was saying clearly… (that he was not in love) but he was annoyed by it saying just: so yes if u think u understand then!
  Have been almost 5 days without no calls and texts.. I don’t know what to think.. why everytime for u is better silence than discussions????
  why not saying things instead.

  Thanks alan
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  J January 26, 2016

  I don’t know what is considered what I did for him as I was really caring and attentive to him. It is something I will not do for my guy friends if I don’t like them. I will assume if I do these compassionate stuff to another guy, they will immediately thought I am interested in them. Just like what he did for me which I think it is over for normal friends. Like why will him try to mark me as his… When I first know him, I am a very quiet person that feels shy to talk to him. Then gradually I start to be more open to him as he is super open to me about himself. He took me out and buy me drinks during short break and he even buy me desserts to cheer me up when I was upset. Then another day it’ s like his switch flipped. Somedays I will ask him what is wrong and then he will be really happy and tell me what makes him feel the way he did. But if he flipped his mood and really flirt at other girls didn’t even look at my direction when I am there in front of him then I assume he suddenly lose interest or bored with me already. This is going on for quite awhile. I am really confuse alan.
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  Alan January 26, 2016

  Even for myself though, I am personally not like “all other guys” where you would need to treat a person like me for who I am as opposed to the social norm expectation of what a guy should be doing. Like saying, some guys think I am abnormal for not treating a woman like an object of pleasure where then jokes come out that I must not be straight or something. I have helped people in an over the top way so many times I can’t keep track of but that doesn’t necessarily mean relationship love. Don’t expect him to react like “other guys” but rather base it on him as a unique individual.

  Based on what you wrote you helped him and so he is helping you. You opened up to him and so he is opening up to you. You can kind of see a relationship dynamic forming there too where if you enjoy the other’s presence in your life you would want to in a sense protect it. That doesn’t mean love necessarily yet either in a relationship way. Now keep in mind I am assuming he doesn’t have a health issues such as if he is like bipolar or something.

  For your situation I can think of two possibilities. The first one is you are already in his trust zone so to speak where he feels he can be natural around you. Hence, he is comfortable sharing information with you about his love life and all around you because he wants you to be involved in his life. This would imply you are simply a friend at the moment.

  The other possibility is he doesn’t feel he is worthy for whatever reason in being in a relationship with you but knows that you two provide each other some good positivity. Therefore, he carries on with life as is and loves it when you take initiative to ask him what is wrong and such. It could be either as you know more about him to assess the situation. It makes perfect sense to me either way.