Confused

Tea Asks:

I have known a Pisces man for 16 years. We went out few times when 1st met. We both had someone at the time and went on to marry our partners. We kept in contact over the phone in and off over the years. We actually went a couple years not keeping in contact at all. Whenever he got new phone number he would let me know. About 2 years ago, he was having hard times. He contacted me and basically told me everything he had ever felt for me.

It was so overwhelming, I couldn’t believe it. I told him a year before he contacted me, I wanted to tell him that I always loved him. So for past 2 years we have been talking, see each other sometimes. He doesn’t reach out to me much, unless I contact him. He is happy when I call & will tell me he loves me often. He also tells me to call him and keep him company. There are times I think he isn’t interested in seeing me, then he’ll ask what am I doing. If I say “nothing” he says oh. If I say why you want see me… He says yes. I don’t understand why he doesn’t just ask to see me. He had even said he thought about me, however, he doesn’t call… I have never been so confused in my life.

I love him so much but don’t get him at all. There are times I feel like, maybe he wants me to go away. I have stopped calling once and 2 1/2 months later he called and said he loves me… I was for sure he wasn’t calling me anymore or didn’t care since I hadent heard from him. He waited a year before we slept together, so I know it’s not about that. He is so loving and sweet when we see each other and talk on the phone. Part of me wants to just tell him leave me alone cause his actions are so hurtful… Yes he has ignored me for a week or 2 & even claim to not get my text messages more than once. I haven’t text anything mean, but sometimes I want to.

I know he gets my messages and sees missed calls. If you can give me some inspiration and shed some light on why he behaves in this way. My heart breaks sometimes and I feel like I can’t take it.

Tea,

My initial reaction is he sounds ashamed/unconfident in speaking to you such as him thinking he feels more for you than you do for him. Therefore, it’s one of those common scenarios where you need to take initiative for the most part.

Although, another thing that sticks out in my mind is that it is inconsistent for a person like me to say “I love you” and then not contact you unless you specifically did something to reject me per se. The fact that you made no contact with him for a while and he still reached out to you by saying he loves you would tell me that you have to first fill in the blanks and understand fully what his life is outside of you and him. Because it feels like those outside events are what is dictating his actions to either gravitate or stay away from you. In some ways I am inclined to say he could be screaming for help internally but doesn’t want to ask directly. Instead, the hope is you would naturally be motivated to be a part of his life to tackle it together.

But either way that is the key to really finding out what is going on I think. Don’t focus so much on what he feels for you, which may sound a little odd, but focus on what is going on with him.