Confused with a pisces guy

by Alan
39 Comments

April Asks:

I feel very confused about this pisces guy at work. he started to lead me on at work, i follow through, till he told me to keep the relationship in a professional way, which i agree, but he kept giving me signals that he still interested in me (staring at me all the time, ways to be around me, opening doors for me) till one day i asked him if we can hang out and he rejected me saying that between me and him professional relationship only, but he kept showing me that he still interested, so i felt so hurt that i decided to ignore him. he started to leave early before i get to work in order not to see me, and he also block me from instagram.

So i decided to send him a insta message and told him that i have not see him at work and then hope to see him soon again. so the week we both showed up at work and i just said hi and he looked happy. like a couple of weeks ago a guy from instagram posted and comment on all my pics, that was a thrusday. then i had to work with him on saturday, so i came to work early and he came to me and confronted me about that the store knows that i liked him.. so he said ” i have no feelings for you” so i said to him that his actions speak louder then his words, so he was shocked when i told him that and then i asked him why does he blocks me and unblocked me from instagram, he checks my profile like 7 times a day, cause i know when he unblocked me.

so he when swearing on his grandmas’s grave that he never did, which i knew he was lying to me, so then i told him what was the big deal that i liked him.. so he answer me saying that it make him feel umconfortable, since our shift was about to start so left it the convo at that. 2 weeks ago we had a event at the company where both of us work and we had dress up semiformal, so he looked very handsome that day so i wanted to take a pic with him.. i asked him if it was ok and he said yes, so i took the pic with him and then i gave him a kiss on his side beard and then i walked away without looking at him, but i never knew what this kiss was going to cost me after. He went to talk to the owner and the associate manager and told on me. I got in big trouble at the end of my shift.

I really was not expecting that, i was mad and surprised by his action and attitude. luckily my boss was very cool about it, he just told me not to take it personally, he told them that he feels umcomfortable with me at work because i complimenting him. after that i’ve been avoiding him, but he keeps showing the interest in me, he parks his car right besides mine, he looks for ways to interact with me… i really don’t get this guy.. when he actually say to my boss that he feels umcomfortable with me.

please help me to understand was going on???

April,

I have to go by the assumption with what you wrote that all the signs he was giving you were indeed signs of interest. I mention this because everyone interprets actions differently where in many cases what you may think is a sign of leading you on may actually just be a person being friendly as an example.

But with that said, based on what you wrote I am inclined to say there is like a moral conflict here in his mind where a relationship with you is just inappropriate for whatever reason. That can be life values, religion, personal beliefs, etc. Now mix that factor with natural human attraction and chemistry of sorts and now we are like essentially putting ourselves in a constant conflicting state.

To me his actions would all make sense that way as it’s like there is a desire to want to try it but then the rational side is saying don’t do it.

39 Comments

April November 16, 2016

Thanks Alan for answering my question.. this past Monday i worked with him and the weirdest thing happened, I say hi to him and he looked back at me and say hey April what’s up.. I did not respond back to him, because I had a bag of garbage on my hand and it was heavy and I did not feel comfortable, and my face looked serious, and I sense that he wanted me to answer back and make a conversation with him; so as the hours went by all of a sudden he said that he was not feeling well and he went home early. So I found out at the end of my shift that he left home early, which i found very rare of him. yesterday i posted a pic on insta gram (selfie) he immediately block me.. which I found very weird, cause i have not done anything to him. so I send him an insta gram message and told him that I heard he got sick on Monday and I wished him to get better soon. right after the message an hour past and he unblocked me and he has not block me again. How do you explain that?? I really feel that he his playing mind games with me.
April November 16, 2016

Alan what’s your advice on all this situation? What should I do? If i ignore him, he feels bad and starts avoiding me and if I flirt with him i can loose my job.. what should I do? He is very sensitive, I don’t know how to act around him.
Alan November 16, 2016

So far with what you shared my interpretation of the blocking and unblocking thing is like a passive aggressive way to get your attention. In some ways I think we can agree it seems to be working as he is definitely getting your attention over it. Though probably not in a very good way. In relation to everything else you can say this boils down to him being afraid to express a feeling he has to you directly. What that is exactly I wouldn’t know as I don’t know the whole situation of course.

Just to give the hypothetical example while mixing in the details you have mentioned so far let’s pretend he is actually super into you. However, for whatever reason he feels that being with you completely changes the social perception of himself to others that he is not comfortable with. So if anything it has to “appear” that you are coming on to him and not the other way around. But because he is super into you he wants to in a sense be around you. So things like your Instagram is a way to do that.

Now let’s put in the day of the garbage situation and not answering him. It would be like it is going back to the scenario of one wanting to express something but can’t do it directly. It probably was exactly what you were thinking where he wanted to engage in a conversation with. So when you posted the picture on Instagram him blocking you is like a passive way to scold you for not “caring” for him as by the sounds of it I would gather he knows that you have feelings for him in a way. So he is essentially trying to hurt you with that because he felt that you hurt him.

So right when you sent the get well message it’s like in his mind he feels you “apologized” so now you two are like “good” again. Again, keep in mind this is just a hypothetical example to make the point. But that’s what I think the essence of the situation would be.

As to what you should do that’s hard to say in the sense of I am not you of course so I don’t really fully understand the reasons you are attracted to him and to the point where you feel he is worth fighting for in a sense. I usually tell people for example for a person like myself you shouldn’t ever have to fight it where just being yourself should be enough. So first thing I would suggest is of course that you fully understand your own emotions on why you like this guy so much and to make sure you are truly attracted to who he is per se and not what you think he is based on certain ques if that makes sense.

But to go with the angle of if you want to try and discover more about him and a relationship potential I think the best way, based on my understanding of the situation, is to in a sense drop invitations that he feels only the two of you will know. Because “privacy” or being very “discreet” about this whole thing seems to be important to him for whatever reason. So if you were ever to “flirt” as an example that can’t happen in like a workplace. That can happen at like a private walk along the beach or something. This basically solves two problems in one too if you think about it.

Usually in these kinds of passive situations too if he actually wants to speak with you people will drop subtle hints. Like with the example of you saying how he said he wasn’t feeling well was the invitation that he wanted to be with you. It can be tricky if you are not used to people who communicate that way of course so it does take practice.
April November 16, 2016

Thanks Alan you have been so helpful!!! by the way as I write this i just posted on isnta gram some pics of me and friends from work and he immediately block me again. I don’t know what’s his game. But I really appreciated for taking your time to answer my questions. Thank you so much!!!
April November 16, 2016

Hi Alan, Should I let him know by instagram if me and him should meet somewhere after work? the other thing is that he never answers my messages on insta gram, I just know he reads them, but he never answers them 🙁
Alan November 17, 2016

The blocking action sounds the same to me where the goal is to get your attention. You should just stop reacting to it in my opinion. Otherwise it’s like a child that will continue to throw things as long as people react to it.

In terms of meeting I was thinking more passive due to the scenario. Though I am not sure of the exact way which would be best for you. As an example let’s pretend you know he likes to go to a certain place all the time. Then on Instagram you would post a photo of like saying “Gonna visit this lovey place.” Basically you were going to go there anyway regardless of him. Eventually if it is something that he would rather not visit alone as an example there will most likely be a time where he will just “happen to bump into you” or if it is like a group event he will “just happen to be available” too. Although I don’t really think things like Instagram would necessarily be good in the sense of you are advertising it to the whole world too.
April November 19, 2016

Hi Alan

There is a christmas dinner coming next week at work, should it be wise to approach him, its outside of work, maybe he will react differently or should I patiently wait? Does pisces guy like girls who makes the first move? Also about the passive aggressive behaviour, what does this mean in my situation? because yesterday i worked with him and he gave me the silent treatment, like i did not existed, then today he said hi and started convo with me, honestly i feel very confused like he is playing mind games with me. I felt so hurt and i really like him but i don;t know if I should tell him. Although he knows that i do.
Alan November 19, 2016

It’s not so much the outside the work factor you should be concerned about but rather as I mentioned the privacy and discreetness of it all. For whatever reason he doesn’t want people to know in general. Not saying he is a thief or anything, but it’s similar to the mindset on how if people think they can get away with it then they will do it. Just replace getting away with it as the notion of getting close with you without others knowing. Again, I don’t have the details so you need to do the homework here to fill in the blanks as to why that is and whether or not you agree with it to continually pursue him.

Another way of explaining the passive aggressiveness here is that he feels entitled where you must act a certain way. Otherwise he has a fit. Virtually no different than say a stereotypical example of a woman telling a man that it’s okay for him to hang out with his buddies instead of her when in reality she is really saying “No, stay here.” So when he does go she then starts ignoring him and he is wondering what is going on.

The silent treatment makes sense with everything said so far as again it’s one of those “You hurt me so I am going to hurt you back” in a passive aggressive way. When he feels he “got even” or that you “apologized” then he will be neutral again. You can call it playing games as in many ways it is. But ultimately you decide if the game is worth playing so to speak.

Speaking for myself I usually do prefer it when a girl makes the first move. My personal reasoning is that because I am so reserved where I don’t reveal much while holding everything back for the right person in my view it takes a special person to see/recognize that through the sea of other men. Example, my assumption is most woman would look at superficial stuff and automatically choose men based on those criteria. For a woman to see through that in my view means she is special.

For yourself too I will bring up the point again where you shouldn’t ever have to try too hard if it was meant to be per se. Just being yourself should be good enough.
April November 22, 2016

Hi Alan

The place that he usually goes most of the time is the Gym. He goes there with his friend to workout. Another thing I wanted to ask you… Should I let him know that I like him that i have feelings for him? Although he knows that I like him, but i have never told him directly. I’m also a bit scare because like I told you before he went to tell my manager about that i complimented him and that he feels uncomfortable, I;m scared to make a move or tell him something at work, cause i feel he is going to tell on me again and i can get fired. the workplace is the only place i see him.
April November 23, 2016

I forgot to ask you if a pisces guy like an insta gram direct message.. because i have not see him since Sunday.. and i wanted to send him a message saying that i missed him, a message where only he can see it. Would that be ok? and how do you guys react to that?
Alan November 24, 2016

If you say he goes to the gym and you want to do this in the most non-conflicting way then I would imagine you would have to naturally be like into fitness and all. Eventually word will get around about it and it opens up opportunities for you two to partake in like events together. Afterwards you would simply just naturally have conversations and all and just build the relationship in general without an expectation like the guy must be your boyfriend sort of deal.

You have to think what exactly are you asking for here and what are you trying to accomplish for you to tell him that you have feelings for him? What exactly kind of outcome are you envisioning would happen? As mentioned I feel based on the circumstance you should be more passive/suggestive and essentially leave it to be afterwards. Even you mentioned, which I agree with, he probably already knows you like him as by the sounds of it you gave way too many signals for a guy to not notice. So what more are you hoping that expressing your feelings would provide considering as you mentioned he complained about your actions that jeopardizes your job?

In my opinion, you should basically just treat it as you know that he knows you like him. If he doesn’t act upon any legitimate opportunities to spend time together then I would wonder personally why you are trying so hard for him still. There should be no real need for chasing as you should just treat him like you would with any other friend for the most part.

If I was to imagine myself like that guy with what you wrote so far and you sent him that message I would probably either not respond to it or give no real emotional clue to my reaction to it. Again, the discreetness here it seems is a factor. Unless he initiates it first then that is a different story. Usually in these cases too the best “test” is to make It known that you have some kind of issue in general and need help. See how fast he responds if any and these are the kind of cues that you should focus on and not words.
April November 27, 2016

Hi Alan

Thank you for answering all my questions and I do feel that I should go slow, take things very slowly, but a Taurus like me is very hard hahaha i want things to work out now, but I have been reading that pisces like to go slow, so I’ll do that. I wanted to ask you something else, like I told you our work christmas dinner is coming up, i was thinking to give him a little gift, since is outside of work so i was wondering if is wise to do that or not? I was thinking something like a chocolate box or a cologne that I know he really likes, I know he likes this man’s cologne name “wanted” by Azzaro and i was thinking to giving that as a gift but i wanted to get your opinion first. It is true when a pisces guy likes a girl they tend to get over protective? its that true? Because I experience that myself last week with him. Also do you have an email address that i can send you a private message?
Alan November 28, 2016

I wouldn’t see anything wrong with the little gifts personally. They can be a positive. If you want to play it safe then I would give a gift to more than one person at the Christmas dinner. That way he can’t really feel weird as if you are specifically targeting him. If anything it would be a good indicator to see how he reacts after as for a person like myself when people give me things without me asking in a thoughtful way I would tend to become closer to them in wanting to understand why they are so caring, so to speak. Because I would feel generally speaking too everyone wants to be around genuine and caring people. A person like myself just has a bigger “guard” up per se.

Would I get overprotective if I like a girl? I don’t know if over protective is the right word as when I hear that I think of like say someone walking down the street like a bodyguard. If I had to choose a word it would be “oversensitive” as for me to “like” a girl means I have to in some way drop my guard. So in essence that means I can become super sensitive to almost everything you say or do to me. So in the sense of protecting it wouldn’t be in like a bodyguard way where like I would feel every other guy is preying on you and so I have to be prepared to shield you from it. In the protective sense it would be more constantly seeing your emotions/body language as I want you to be happy. Because of that I would expect the same in many ways even though realistically I know not everyone has the personality to pick up on all these little types of cues.

If you want to send private messages for non-related topics and such you can actually just login to the site and send a private message by clicking on a username.
April December 2, 2016

Hi Alan
As Im writing this I’m crying without stopping, everything was going good with him,until today I got called to the office again with the manager and he said that recently 2 people came to him last week saying that I told them that I liked Chris (which is my Pisces crush name) and that they have evidence about it I had to play it off by telling them that I have not talk to nobody and that those people are making up lies. And thank God the manager was very understanding with me but he told me it was the last warning that if he heard one more issue about this he had to let me go. I really really like Chris and I don’t know what to do. I wanted to talk to him today about what happened but I decided not to. The dinner is next Tuesday and I was thinking to approach him and talk about it. I’m really scared, I feel confuse, and I really don’t know what to do
Alan December 2, 2016

I think we need to separate these into two categories in terms of your professional and personal love life so to speak when it comes to him. Because generally speaking I am super confused as to why it would even matter in general at the workplace if the whole world knew you liked the guy. As long as you aren’t doing anything with it per se in the workplace and all what grounds do they have to lodge a complaint against you? I must be missing something as I can’t think of any kind of human resource policy in any kind of company where the sheer notion of a person liking another can result in say termination. Care to educate in regards to this? If that was the case probably over half the workforce in any company would get fired for the sheer thought that they “like” someone.
April December 3, 2016

Hi Alan
In the workplace is considered to be sexual harassment because he told them that I make him feel uncomfortable and that’s what the manager told me yesterday that if he heard about the same issue he will let me go and will be for sexual harassment. I realized that he is not worth it, he is a very complicated guy, because outside of work he is a different Chris and here at work he is playing the victim. I send him text through Instagram and tell him like have a great day and things like that. The last message that I send him was like 3 days ago telling him that he inspired me to start going to the gym and work out. And I notice that every time I send him messages through Instagram I get in trouble here I work. I felt like telling my manager that he is total different outside of work and that he is the one who started all this. I got my last warning yesterday I don’t want to risk my job. And I thought he was going to block me from Instagram but he didn’t. He has not block me, I really don’t get it. He is saying that he feels uncomfortable with me at work but on Instagram is a different story. I really don’t get it!!!! today he left early in order not to see me at the end of his shift. Now the dinner is next week and I don’t know if I should approach him or send him an Instagram message, I really don’t know.
Alan December 3, 2016

I’m no lawyer so what I write with this is purely based on my personal observations and general knowledge, but that company can get in big trouble if you aren’t really doing anything to provoke this and it’s just his insecurity. Example, if in the workplace you are constantly trying to physically touch him or verbally use say “sexually suggestive” stuff then yeah I can see that as harassment when he asked you to stop. But if it’s like a situation where you are like the most attractive person in the world where every guy is just intimidated by your presence and this guy is just freaking out over the notion that you like him then that is his problem not yours.

If anything this would turn more into a scenario of harassment and discrimination in the workplace against you where you should be the one lodging the complaint. Again, as long as you are not like continually trying to kiss him on the cheek or talking about non work related stuff in an obvious manner to persuade him to be with you then you aren’t doing anything wrong professionally. Would be virtually no different than a “celebrity crush” if you were working with someone you really adored in that way.

In that regards if you are “over him” in the sense of you can keep the environment professional then I would be inclined to clearly communicate with your manager next time that you insist in finding out exactly what the complaint is so that it can be addressed. Because generally speaking just saying “I am uncomfortable with her just being there” is not really a valid reason to give you “warnings” per se. Unless that company is known and has a reputation of discriminating against certain types people……..well that would open up a can of worms.

Okay, so back to him now. Everything still makes sense to me about the discreetness factor with what you wrote and I am not sure if you are understanding it correctly. I am only using this as another hypothetical example as you mentioned how he motivated you to start going to the gym and workout and how this can play a role with the discreetness. For this example I am just going to assume that he is more “fit” than you in a typical sense. So imagine because you are not at “his level” socially he feels very awkward being around you with others. At the same time, others knowing that he may even be interested in you because of this difference can cause him a lot of public “shame” and “scrutiny”. You can change this example with anything else too such as money or academic accomplishments.

But because he still has some kind of “interest” or “fascination” with you he wants to “get to know you” without looking like he is. So he attempts to be very discreet about this while not wanting to publicly acknowledge you in any way other than the co-worker. With that said, in my view the best thing to do is to be the best you that you can be without him as a factor. Basically, stop chasing him and just do what’s best for you right now.

For example, if we were to take him out of the equation would you still be motivated to go to the gym? If you say no then in my opinion we need to take a step back here as you kind of need to really define what you want in life I feel. You may be surprised too where in exploring this you might realize you didn’t really like the person that much for who they were. Instead, maybe it was certain emotions or a person to relate to that you were seeking which you can then narrow down on how there are a ton of other ways to get that. Obviously he hit a right note with you though so that should give you a head start in really thinking on what that is all about.
April December 4, 2016

Hi Alan

I want to thank you for taking your time reading my questions. I truly admit that I did wrong kissing him on the cheek in the workplace, that was my bad and that was one of the reasons that got me in trouble first. But what I still don’t get is if he interested in me why he keeps getting me in trouble at work to the point that I can loose my job? I don’t understand that. Someone that loves somebody wouldn’t do that to them to hurt them, he has hurt me a lot with his attitude.
Alan December 4, 2016

The simple answer would be that he sounds weak willed in a sense. Almost like the scenario of why does the “tough” guy act so nice to his “nerdy” friend when no one is around yet when people see them together the “tough” guy treats the “nerdy” guy like garbage?

A family member can be the same if you think about it. Example, the bigger brother treating the younger one bad when he is in-front of his friends yet he acts so differently when they are at home. Like there you could argue that the older brother just doesn’t care about the younger brother, but I would attest that more to like an individual having low confidence and all.

Everyone is different of course, but if I was that younger brother I would most likely just live life without him, so to speak, until he “grows up” I guess you can say. I could be say the guy that would then keep trying to get his older brother to acknowledge him in-front of others. Or instead I can make a decision on how I would like to be treated with the people in my life where if they don’t have the decency to treat me with respect and such then there is no reason to give them more of my energy. They need to realize themselves I feel on who are truly the important people in their lives.
April December 7, 2016

Hi Alan
Yesterday we had the dinner party from work and it was fun, the atmosphere was a little tense because of what happened on friday but after a while it got better. I realized that he is too young, he is 22 like he doesn’t know what he wants and his insecurities got me and him in trouble at work. My question is.. is he going to continue doing what he was doing before? the starings, and all the stuff, I’m really surprised that he has not block me from instagram.. cause if he says at work that he feels umconfortable with me.. so why he does not block me for once and for all? It messes up my head!!! I also erase all the instagram private messages i send him. Overall I’ll follow your advice on not chasing him, not even talking to him, I don’t want to loose my job. Thanks Alan for reading me.
April December 7, 2016

Another question.. He never had interest in me because if he try to put me in trouble at work is because he never appreciated me? Or he has a insecurity problem? Tell me if I’m wrong or right? I want to get that doubt out of my head.
Thanks Alan
Alan December 8, 2016

Will he keep doing it depends on his personal growth which I have no idea about as I don’t know the person. Example, maybe one day he was about to get fired but you saved him. Hence, life experience and mindset change towards you. Maybe one day his friends backstabbed him which changed his perspective on why he was trying to so hard to impress them in the first place sort of deal. Similar to what I mentioned before he isn’t just blocking you because he still wants to learn about you in a discreet way by the sounds of it.

From what you wrote he reported you at work because it goes back to the topic of being discreet I feel. For whatever reason it can’t appear that he is say interested in you in the eye’s of others. It’s essentially a combination of insecurity and a lack of appreciation for you.
April December 14, 2016

Hi Alan

This is very confusing! I followed your advice on not to chase him and so I have. But things are getting confusing now, he is chasing me now, he parks his car right besides mine, he counts my till, he is available if I need help with anything and he changed his schedule on Saturday just to work with me. He also cleaned his instagram, he took out many girls that he had and he is not liking any post from the followers and following list. especially if they’re girls. At worked I caught him staring at me from far away while putting some stuff on the shelves. He will paused and stare at me. I’m so surprised and shock at the same time cause I dont know what’s going on, but i’m still sticking to your advice.
Do pisces guy like to be chased or they liked to chase women? And whats your advice on this, should I keep ignoring him?
Alan December 15, 2016

I am actually a bit confused that you are confused as everything seems to be working out in a sense. Is that not what you want in many ways? Unless you were doubting that anyone in general could become closer to you per se with reactions like that. The main thing I would say though is you might be assuming too much with your observations and so you should still try not chase even more. By that I mean things like how you say you see him not liking people’s post in Instagram. Again, I would suggest just living your life per se. You shouldn’t ignore him with like a silent treatment but don’t obsess over all his actions as if there is like a huge meaning to it. It would be obvious too eventually I feel where it will bring you back to square one.

Whether a person likes to be chased comes down to expectations and a bit of psychology. Speaking like for myself I don’t personally chase woman. We are either naturally compatible or we are not. Simple as that. If a woman ever throws a “Well, let’s see you climb a mountain for me” type of routine to purposely test me I would most likely walk the other way. Although I would say the biggest confusion is the idea of making someone chase you versus having the confidence to just be yourself as the actions can look the same but are fundamentally different. There is a huge difference to like standing on your ground and being who you are which projects confidence and a sense of curiosity to want to learn more about the person. This is as opposed to purposely playing hard to get.

I mean put it this way. If someone just randomly went up to you right now and literally tried to oversell themselves on why you need to marry them now would you not like run? What happens if that guy was just standing on the other side looking super confident in his own skin as if nothing in the world bothered him while making everyone else around him happy and all? Would you not be more inclined to go closer to him to see what he is all about? So in that sense the situation isn’t too surprising.
April February 17, 2017

Hi Alan happy new year!

Things have change at the workplace, he got an offered at the gym as a personal trainer, is actually perfect for him because he is taking health and wellness at College, and at the same time he is working only 1 day at shoppers where me and him work together. the funny thing is that the offered that he got is exactly in the same gym where i go to. I already ask for him at the gym and they told me that he only works there on weekends so I’m planning to go this saturday to the gym. I usually go 3 times on weekdays but i;ll try to go this Saturday just to see him. I have not see him for 2 month since he started working at the gym. and he only works on wednesday at the workplace which is a day that i’m not schedule, so I dont see him at all. I only see him on Instagram, but recently this other guy has been posting comments on my pics of how good i look .. so he started blocking me and then unblocking me again, everything was fine, until this other guy (that i don’t even know) starts posting comments on my pics because my instagram is public. So today he started blocking me and unblocking me, should I press the (follow button) to follow him or I shouldn’t? I don’t know if that will make things worse, but what i did was block that guy that was posting comments on my pics, cause it happen before, i blocked this guy and everything seems ok after that. Would that means that he is jealous?
April February 17, 2017

the other thing that i forgot to tell you is that maybe he blocked me because i have a girl that is a personal trainer on instagram that works in the same gym as him, i met through some advice and I add her to my contacts and then i realized that he also has her in his contacts.. it is for that reason that he maybe he block me? I don’t know what to think.
April February 17, 2017

Hi again Alan!

I just found out the reason why he blocked me. I added this girl who is a personal trainer at the same gym where he works and where I usually go. So I guess he found out yesterday cause since yesterday he started to block me and unblocked me. I met this girl at the gym and we just clicked cause I’m a makeup artist and so is she do we exchange info and I looked for her on Instagram and I added her. He found out last night that I added her and I guess he thinks that I added her without knowing her or to get close to him that’s what I’m thinking but I noticed that he unfollowed her on Instagram so I don’t know what to do. He has not unblocked me since this morning 8:30am, this is very weird he is blocking me because I added that girl? For me is very lame! But I want to read what do u think about all this. Although tomorrow I’m going to the gym But I won’t mention anything about it
Alan February 18, 2017

Hi April,

Happy new years to you too. With what you wrote my first reaction would be I think blocking that guy wasn’t a good idea in terms of the original thought of living your life. Assuming that random guy wasn’t really bothering you in any way. Because if his reaction is truly because of that guy then it’s a signal that he has control of you in many ways. I don’t know if jealous is the right word here. I think the best way I can describe it is he sounds like he is unhappy in life and he is taking it out on you in a passive aggressive way by doing stuff like this.

If I was to think of like an exaggerated example think of it like a kid that is unhappy for whatever reason. So when he sees another person go up to them as for whatever reason he has something they need he purposely rejects them to make them feel bad as it’s like a way to partially cover the hurt or insecurity without actually evaluating and dealing with it head on.

Combining that with the other personal trainer comment again it just feels like he is trying to control you with all this passive aggressive behaviour of sorts. I think with everything else we talked about too you adding that girl who in a sense has a connection with him creates that topic about the discreetness again where for whatever reason he wants to distance himself from you in an openly public way, so to speak.

My general thought is I don’t think it is wise to be like terminating all these connections and such with people because of his actions. I don’t think that is good for you in the long run or for him either. I think you need to establish a clear mindset for yourself on what you expect from him too as it seems like you are trying way too hard to get him to change with no real return. That’s not a fair relationship if you want to call it that.

At this point if you really want to get deeper into him funny enough in many ways it sounds like through others is the best way such as that trainer. You can probably learn a lot and find if there are any inconsistencies with what you know about him. I could easily imagine too that maybe one of the reasons he unfollowed the other person is because if people find out he reported you back then for the kiss then that can make him look bad as an example.
April February 19, 2017

Hi Alan

I can only think of 2 reasons why he blocked me

1. Since he started working at the gym, he has only work 2 Wednesdays at the workplace where I work. from what I heard is that he is only working on weekends at the gym and at the other workplace he stopped showing up for work and he has said that he is working at the gym and to give him time. So im thinking that probably he is assuming that I’m going to tell this girl that he has not showed up at my workplace and that’s why he is scare that i become closer friend with this girl.

2. The other reason is that he thinks i’m going to tell this girl that i like him and find out more about him through her. So he is assuming all this in his mind and that’s why he blocked me?

Since you’re a Pisces probably you know the reason why he blocked me.
To be honest with you i’m so desperately to send him a message and ask him why he blocked me, but I’m thinking to wait a week to see what happens, cause I’m assuming that he’ll probably find out that i have not say anything to this girl. and i;m not planning too either. Do you think is wise to send him a message or showed up at the gym and talk to him in person?
What’s your advice in all this? please help me
April February 20, 2017

Another thing is that he has not unblocked me, its been 5 days today, I’m thinking if this is going to be permanent?
Alan February 22, 2017

Sorry for the delay.

When you say he stopped showing up for work do you mean he booked it off or he was scheduled and just skipped it? The interesting thing is I assume in many ways you want to learn more about him and through actions like these you can easily unravel a passive person I find. Because those habits usually interrelate in other aspects of one’s life.

It’s not true in all cases of course, but if you were to look at this job like a relationship imagine it like one where because he found something else per se he doesn’t feel the need to value what he had. That should help to uncover values.

My advice is still the same for the most part. Essentially don’t really pay attention to his antics. Although this does not work if you are genuinely glued to him per se in the sense of having to know more. I am a little puzzled in some ways on why you are sticking with it in terms of pursuing him though considering his treatment towards you thus far from what you wrote. Am I personally missing something here in regards to that? It doesn’t sound like he has really done anything for you too.
April February 22, 2017

Hi Alan

Yes he is scheduled and he skips, he is scheduled to work every Wednesday from 6-10:15pm (closing time) one of the girls that works with me told me that he only showed up 2 Wednesdays and that he has a deal with the manager. That’s all I know.
I send him an email yesterday telling him that I’m sorry if I did something wrong. But he has not replied yet. I’m planning to showed up at the gym this Saturday to talk to him but I’m not sure if it’s wise to do it. He only blocked me from Instagram but not from google or YouTube which I find very weird.
April February 23, 2017

Hi Alan

I was actually thinking this morning that i should stop chasing him, i feel that i should give him space, cause I was thinking that if i go to the gym and talk to him i’ll sound to desperately and clingy and I think you guys don’t like that from a girl; so I decided that i’m going to give him space and hopefully he unblocked me. If I do that will he come back? Do Pisces men goes back to that girl that knows that liked him?
Alan February 24, 2017

I am not exactly sure what you are hoping for here as you are opting to go in the opposite direction of what I am suggesting it seems and I am still personally unclear as to the reason you are pursuing him despite him in a sense constantly mistreating you based on the things you wrote (Again, unless I am missing something here). For me personally this is turning into a topic more about unravelling the “why” for you as opposed to him as so far I feel we painted a pretty thorough picture on him and what to expect for the most part (Which has been pretty consistent for him).

If you think about it with the notion of desperate and clingy that you expressed concerns about too is that not the same thing in many ways where someone keeps treating you really bad yet you keep going back to them? It would make me think of like say if this is a job and the employer treats you like garbage you keep going back to them. Like one constantly going back to that employer as if nothing happened is telling them it’s okay and it’s like they know you are desperate for money or whatever and so they will keep doing it. I’ll reiterate the point again where unless I am missing something here he sounds like he is simply being pretty abusive to you in many ways.

Generally speaking I would personally say people don’t go back to another simply because the other likes them. Everyone has a need of sorts where for the most part if you fill in that need then the connection will occur. So in context to him you have to kind of think what need of sort do you fill in for him? To me it feels that he doesn’t see the value in you as a person in his life and so he is treating you more as his personal random outlet for “unresolved emotions” for life overall.

Because if the connection is genuine where the person values you then by all means talk his ear out if it’s something genuine and authentic.
April April 12, 2017

Hi Alan

its been a long time that i have not talked to you, lately many things have happened and not very pleasant 🙁
I just found out yesterday that he quit the job at the gym, i asked for him and they told me that he quit. Now Idk where his working. My b-day is coming up and i came up with a plan for he can attend to my b=day party, so i have this other insta gram account and pretended to be one of April’s friend, without him knowing that it was me. So i send him an invitation and told him that it will be nice of him to attend, so he replied to me back 3 hours later
April April 12, 2017

And this is what he replied:
Hi, I don’t know what April has told you about me, but she does not know me and I do not know her. I have not worked with April for over 4 months. While I worked with April I spoke to my managers and store owner several times about her harassing me at work. She was spoken to and every time denied liking me and asking me out even though I had asked her to stop asking me out while I was working.
She went into the employee directory and took my phone number to call and text me several times one morning, which I immediately told her to never do again. Now she emails me constantly regardless of the fact that I do not reply, because at this point telling her to stop obviously will get me nowhere. When I did work with April , I had probably one actual conversation with her, where I asked her what colognes she recommends because she worked in that department on that given night.
I was always nice to her but made it 100% clear that I was in no way interested. I am sorry to be so blunt, and to speak so poorly of your friend, but these are simply the facts. Thank you for inviting me, but I will not be coming to any parties.

So then I replied back to him:

I’m not telling you what to do, but I suggest that you both talk in person, cause she has her her hopes up about you. I’m a witness of the number of guys that she had rejected over you. She really thinks that you like her.
April April 12, 2017

Then he replied back:

Okay, not trying to be an asshole now, but I think you may have missed the point I was trying to make. I have told April numerous times I am not interested. I couldn’t make it any more clear to her. I get that you’re her friend and you care about her, but I don’t think you understand the amount of times I told April that I wasn’t interested. Four months after I’ve even been in the same place as her and she still for some reason thinks I’m interested. I don’t want to see her in person because She is obsessed with me and it isn’t normal. I have been nice about this for far too long and I’m done with her going around telling her friends and family about me. I’m a nice person, but I have a limit to my tolerance and your friend passed that line a long time ago.

I never replied back to him, because it was pointless. I haven’t stopped crying, cause some of the things that he says aren’t true ? And I’m not obsessed with him. And I also asked myself why he does not block me from google account and gmail if he is saying that he is interested in me? He receives all the emails and pics I send him. I feel so hurt ? no one has hurt me like he has. I realized that he is not worth it. What it my fault?
Alan April 13, 2017

While I understand what you are literally asking I am still unclear what you are seeking technically. If we re-read what we have communicated above I feel none of this should be a surprise. It goes back to the points too that you avoided where I mentioned “I am still personally unclear as to the reason you are pursuing him despite him in a sense constantly mistreating you based on the things you wrote.“

To me personally you should be trying to answer these questions and points first as opposed to avoiding them and inquiring about him. At this point the topic isn`t really about him if you are seeking for enlightenment on the issue to make progress.
Flower April 14, 2017

Dear April,
Im a Taurus too and i can totally relate to your feelings. I can feel the pain and hurt that you are going through, because I have been there. Same thing happened with me, as I already shared with Alan in my original post asking Alan to help. 7 years i was obsessed with a Pisces guy, convinced that he loved me back, but he never showed any action to confirm my assumption. I met him on Facebook, we video chat , talked for hours, then one day we argued, and he blocked me then. Skype, yahoo, fb etc. I had no way to contact him back. But still somehow i managed to believe that he loved me same way like i do. His friends and cousins told me he had no feelings for me or showed any interest about me to them, so they tried to keep me away from hopelessly waiting for him. But i being the stubborn taurus , insisted on believing that he was into me too but just not showing his feelings and was playing games . So i kept on chasing him, i made multiple fake fb ids to add him as a friend, to stay close to him somehow. To ask him for forgiveness if i did something wrong. Once or twice i got chance of talking to him on fone but he refused for having any feelings for me. He was adamant about it. Still i Refused to accept the truth that “He was not that into me”.
Eventually his parents fixed his marriage to his some relative girl, and he got married to her two years back. And i never got this point clearly into my mind that he was never interested in me.
Yes this is “obsession ” my dear friend that we possess about others. We being stubborn headed Taurus are mesmerised and charmed by so mysterious personality of a Pisces guy. We are enchanted with idea that pisces never use words but shows subtle signs only when they are interested in someone. We are attracted to that beautiful dream world that a pisces man seems to be lost in mostly. But its all in our minds sadly. The truth is that when a man is not interested, he is not interested. Even a gentle most man like a Pisces will take some action to confirm his feelings for u at some point. But if he doesn’t then he means it when he say that He is not interested.
Don’t read too much into insignificant signs like blocking or unblocking on gmail , YouTube etc.. he might not be even using them that much. So its not significant for him that u are blocked there or not. Just once if you ‘Accept ‘ this fact that he was never really interested, im sure you will feel much better and look at the world all differently! ?

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Confused with a pisces guy

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