pisces man relationship
Reader Questions

Did I miss the signals? Were there signals?

  • by
  • 3 Comments

Oblivious Girl Asks:

I recently met a Pisces boy a few days ago through a friend. We went to the movies with a group of 7, and during the credits Pisces boy made the initiative to give a friendly wave to me. Got me thinking, “what a nice guy.” After the movie, I was introduced to everyone and we all headed to a cafe. I awkwardly sat between Pisces boy and his other friend. He made the initiative to ask me questions, like where I went to school, and what I plan to major, and if I lived in a certain area. After I said I was 19, he added that he was going to turn 19 in a month.

I felt very comforted by his questions because it would’ve been awkward silence since I’m still new to the group. He also introduced me to his sister who was in the group. I forgot most of the conversation but one question stuck out. He asked if I had a boyfriend. I had a very small moment of being taken aback, I was never asked this in person before. I answered “no” and he proceeded to say that he was hoping to look at picture of my bf to see if the guy was hot or not. A gal pal sitting beside him told me he was also bi, I believe she mentioned that to lessen the awkwardness. It was true though, he is bi. When I took out my phone to check messages, he said “you should add me on Facebook” and I mentioned that I didn’t have the app so I couldn’t add him immediately, but then a guy friend intervened and joked saying not to add Pisces boy because he’s weird. Pisces boy had asked what I ordered to drink, he then asked if he could take a sip, in which I didn’t mind. I’m not sure if it’s normal for strangers to share drinks that quickly.

When the group started walking to the parking lot to leave, I noticed Pisces boy walked behind me rather than catching up with the majority of the group in front. I’m not sure if I’m just being too technical here, my attention was drawn to him ever since the questioning, so I notice where he places himself.

To conclude, I just kept thinking about him being bi yet asking me if I have a bf. And we just met too. Not sure if he’s interested in me or just very friendly in talking. I realized I should’ve just added him immediately on Facebook when he mentioned it. That would’ve been a better conversation. But I managed to add him a few days after the meet.

I’m not sure if I’m mistaking his kindness as a sign of liking someone.
I appreciate any input on this. Thanks for your time!

Oblivious girl,

Based on what you wrote it sounds like he was “flirting” with you. In many ways, it’s like he was throwing himself in front of you constantly where he was looking for that mutual agreement of taking things further. Hence, asking to share the drink or to add him on Facebook.

I am also inclined to say he sounds kind of insecure with himself due the how strong he is coming across to you. So it sounds like he “likes you” based on what you wrote. How serious this is or if it say a simple “infatuation” is another story as you kind of need to spend more time with him to find out.

Follow Me:

3 Comments

  • Oblivious girl February 25, 2016

    Thank you for the insight, Alan.

    I suppose he really was looking for that mutual agreement. But I felt so out of place when being with a new group of people. I stared at tv monitors in the cafe, I avoided looking people in the eye for long, especially his eyes whenever we talked. I remember staring at my reflection in the window and I saw he was looking at the same window as me. I was worried he would’ve caught me low-key staring at him. I feel like my awkwardness had prevented me from really opening up to him. I answered every question he thrown at me. But since we were in a group there were many times we were interrupted. There was this one moment when the group suggested that I join their taekwondo sessions, in which Pisces boy pitched in the schedule and times. I joked and said I would be pretty “late to the party” from where I stand with my age and lack of experience. I told them it was a “maybe” on joining their taekwondo classes.

    I remember another question, when I mentioned how lazy I am at texting people, he asked “what if I texted you?” In which I answered in all honesty, “probably one text a month.” I was half joking but also half telling the truth. I’m very casual in how I present myself to others, and it does take a while for me to feel comfortable to really open up. I now feel bad for possibly discouraging him to initiate any more conversations with me. I was the one who had to add first on Facebook, though I was hoping he’d take it one step further to add me first. I figured if I was being too passive, it’ll make it look like I’m not at all interested. Now I’m sitting here feeling like a fool for waiting on some other form of communication to open up between us. I can’t act naturally when someone strikes my curiosity like this. I don’t want to make a bad impression or be an annoyance. And I don’t want to come off as clingy. Because I understand that feeling from the other side very well.

    Sorry for the long rants, I just have a lot on my mind. I tend to overthink.

  • Alan February 25, 2016

    If I was this guy I probably wouldn’t have added you first on sites like that either. So that’s actually a good thing that you took initiative to make the connection with him. That’s probably the biggest mistake people make with me I say as they go on with the traditional mindset that if the guy is interested in you they will contact you first. I know for myself if you don’t take that initiative then in my mind it just simply wasn’t meant to be in terms of us being around each other in a consistent everyday life kind of way.

    Taking initiative is the key at this point I feel. That is different from being clingy. Example, sending him invites to events to go together is good if you want to build the relationship. Constantly making him feel bad if he is not around you is not recommended.

  • Oblivious girl February 25, 2016

    That does make sense. I will try to take more initiative from now on. Thank you for the advice!

    I have talked to other friends about this and they also suggested that I be the one to strike up a conversation or send invitations to events. Because he already initiated plenty of times when we first met and sat in the cafe. So it’s basically a trade-off now.

    Before I’d invite him to hang out or anything, It would be nice to have a steady conversation first. I am just gauging for the right moment to start a convo with him. I worry I might catch him at a busy time.

    Thanks again, Alan. I feel a little more at ease. I just need to get used to being confident and initiate more sometimes.

Leave a Reply