pisces man mysterious
Reader Questions

Does he like me

SB asks:

Hi

Having spoken to a pisces man for two weeks we finally met and went on a first date. We passionately kissed at the end Of the date and agreed to meet the next Day as he said he was free all week. We went out. He took me to a restaurant and paid for everything, I also paid for drinks throughout the night. We passionately kissed and held each other for most of the night. He told me some of his past and we laughed so much. The next day I didn’t hear from him and I asked if i upset him. To which he said no, he had been in bed all day with a hangover. We then decided to meet the next day to go to the cinema.

I did ask him how he felt about me and he said can you not tell by the way I have been with you.

I don’t know why but I really like this guy a lot but how does he see me? I suffer from anxiety so that doesn’t help my thinking and being paranoid.

SB,

From the sounds of it he seems like he is into you. At the same time, him saying things like “can you not tell” in this context sounds like your doubts are in sense potentially “annoying” him. A good comparison I think would be that you cooked a meal for a person who seems to be eating it and enjoying it. However, you then stand next to them and ask every minute if they like the meal or not. As you can imagine, that can cause most people to get annoyed and upset to the point they would probably just want to leave.

So at this point it isn’t so much about him I feel as opposed to yourself where in many ways it seems like you need to judge things directly based on what you see/get as opposed to thinking there is some deeper and complex meaning to it.

10 Comments

  • sb February 18, 2016

    Hi

    So far it is going good. We have been on 3 dates now and text each other every day.

    I have said I want a relationship and move on from dating and he asks me how you would move on from dating to a relationship. I explained it is on a deeper level to which he replied that I should stop over thinking and relax. What does he mean?

    Is he avoiding giving me a relationship or telling me in indirect terms that we are already in a relationship? Or has he no experience with women?

  • Alan February 18, 2016

    If he thinks like me then I am really not the type of person that would say things like “Okay, let’s be a couple now.” For example, me hanging around you a lot and being flirty with you physically is my way of saying “Let’s see if this can go beyond a friendship.” Me kissing you is already saying “I am in relationship mode.”

    Like for myself, if you read my other posts you can see I don’t really believe in a “dating” routine per se as the relationship should just develop naturally and organically. I would have probably answered your question in a similar way that he has because of all this.

  • sb February 21, 2016

    Thank you Alan. I have also noticed that he takes a couple of hours to respond to my messages, and today he has not responded at all. He did say he had family events but to ignore me like this is unacceptable. I’m an aries and don’t know how much more of this I can handle.

    Do I pull him up on it or ignore this behaviour?

  • Alan February 22, 2016

    I am not really sure what you would expect otherwise as you mentioned he told you he is busy which would partly explain why he ignored you as you say. I don’t know the entire situation of course, but at the moment you writing that is almost like someone telling you they will be working all day for you to then say you are upset with them as it is unacceptable that they didn’t respond to you. Again, I don’t know the entire situation but hopefully you get the point.

    Any form of relationship goes both ways where you should be in a sense making each other better I say. Everybody needs something at times where for whatever reason they can’t give anymore. Example, you mentioned he said he is with his family. What does that entail exactly? Did he have to look after someone who is ill? Help teach a family member a new skill? Spend an enormous amount of time trying to fix something for them? Needed to dedicate his time to celebrate someone’s once in a lifetime special day?

    Just generally speaking, the possible hypothetical scenario, assuming you know 100% he is free, on why he is taking a couple of hours to respond to you is because he feels you are simply taking from him as opposed to helping him feel rejuvenated as well when you are around him. As you kind of implied above too, you seem to require a lot of reassurance at times where this can easily drain a person which takes away their energy and spirit.

    So like with the food example it doesn’t matter how good your dishes may be that you can cook. If taking it from you means going through all that emotional stress of never being able to convince you that they enjoy the dish then they would rather just stay away from eating it period. You shouldn’t focus so much on him but yourself I feel as most of your anxiety as you say seems to be coming from yourself in making too much out of certain actions.

    Generally speaking for myself, I always want to spend as much time with those who are genuinely invested in me as a person, so to speak. That isn’t an easy bond to have by any means either because for most people it is a one way street. Example, you may like being around a certain person but that’s not because you genuinely love and want to see them grow per se but rather how they make you feel and wanting them to make you feel that way forever. Huge difference and that’s something to think about too with your question about his behaviour for both him and yourself as a couple I think.

  • sb February 22, 2016

    Thank you Alan. You are so great with your advice.
    I said to him I want a relationship. He said he wants to take each day as it comes and see where we are heading.

    We are meeting soon as we have discussed and decided to get physical now.

    I honestly can’t understand what’s holding him back from bring in a relationship with me. He said he finds me attractive and we talk so much when we are together. He is so adamant on how he wants to please me in bed. He wants to get physical on a deeper level.

    It’s been two weeks and he said obviously there are feelings on both sides. So what does this all mean in his pisces world?

  • Alan February 22, 2016

    It could be the constant reassurance factor that I have been mentioning about or as mentioned you kind of already are in a relationship without the formality of it. If I were you I would treat it as that and go day by day in seeing if you both are right for each other. To me it sounds like he is giving you a verbal push/encouragement to get physical with him. That is your choice of course to decide not mine. By the sounds of it he takes that stuff a lot more “casual” than I would as an example.

  • sb February 29, 2016

    Hi Alan

    Is it normal that he isn’t bothered that he isn’t going to see me for approx 4 weeks?

  • Alan March 1, 2016

    I would say it’s normal in the sense that if you two are staying in touch somehow and the connection is strong enough. Because a strong sense of trust goes a long way. If you say it’s like he simply doesn’t care one bit in terms of finding ways to stay in touch then that is not normal if you two are supposed to be head over heels for each other.

  • sb March 2, 2016

    Thank you Alan.

    What are pisces men like when it comes to planning ahead?

    He also hasn’t told me it’s his birthday coming up. Can’t understand why.

    Are they always relaxed and laid back? Do I have to keep making the first move.

  • Alan March 3, 2016

    Speaking for myself, my planning is usually more about knowing the situation/event and then adapting as for me anyways it seems like the best way to go. Think of it like me writing here. I know I am going to write something before I login here but as to what exactly I am not sure as I don’t know really what awaits me.

    Funny you wrote about birthdays and mentioning about it as I don’t usually mention it to others either. Laid back wouldn’t be the word I would use for myself as the reason for this. I would say it’s more about the wrong kind of attention by broadcasting these things. Example, if on the side of this page it says it’s my birthday now or whatever then I would imagine a lot of people are inclined to say happy birthday or in some cases people are compelled to want to give something as that is the social norm.

    To me anyways, it’s the type of attention that feels a little superficial. When I say superficial, imagine someone posting up like selfie photos or something of them doing something extraordinary where the goal is to get people to tell them how awesome it is. To me that is superficial in a sense. My ideal situation would be to have a person who is actually in-tune with me or my life as a whole where they naturally want to be with me. Hence, sharing with them personal moments like those actually means something in those instances. It’s like gifts. Receiving one because people feel obligated doesn’t mean the same as someone who genuinely wants to do it to put a smile to your face.

    If you want to “speed things up” then yes you do have to take initiative for the most part. So in your case you would have to specifically ask them when their birthday is. Other than that, you will be going through a very “slow” journey as a person like me wants to try and get to know a person as their true self.

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