pisces man mysterious
Reader Questions

Is a good idea to show my emotions to a Pisces Guy?

Jessica Asks:

Hi Alan,

I hope you are fine!! (and I apologize about my grammar errors)

First, I´d like to thank you for take your time and write topics about you, because they are like a lantern for me. I really want to know and understand people who has similar type of personality as you. Personally, your anecdotes help me to don´t get depressed, I´m over sensitive, so, changes in people let me down easily. Also, I learned things about myself…Why? Well the explanation is odd… I´m not really believe in all astrology stuff, but I recognize that there are a lot of things that are pretty similar about people personality. Me, for example, I´m a Taurus, but I´m not a practical person completely… maybe, because I´m Pisces rising too. I find a lot of similarities with you and Pisces people in my own behavior, even I realized that I use to “tested” people for let them be in my deepest zone. (I hope you know what I mean)

Well, I just want to say you -Thank you- for share your experiences with us, for me is so helpful, I really appreciate your gift to us. Sincerely I appreciate your words.

Now, I´d like to tell you about a Pisces guy I met… He is so similar to you, I mean, about the way to see the world and trait people… I feel something special for him, maybe love, but not if I hope we become girlfriend and boyfriend, of course I´d like to found my soulmate in him, even if we could not be together for any reason. I just can´t explain myself: why I need to care him and be for him when he´s down… When I notice he is depressed I ask him indirectly what happened, and he used to answer me the reason but without details… and I don´t really want to know them if he doesn´t want to share that with me. So I offered him some words that I´d would like to hear if I were at that situation. Because of time, I have to say all by chat. I don´t really know if he feels better, but I try.

He is my dance teacher, so I see him about 3 times for week, I take the initiative to talk him because many times I noticed he stare at me thought the mirrors. So I asked him by chat about how he discovered his passion for dance… and he answered me in a nicely way. I have to say you that we really do not speak much in person because of time, he is a busy guy. He did not ask me too much about me, but in one occasion he told me (indirectly) that he considered me a close person to him.

One day I was joking with him and send some funny gifs and images, and then, as you do, maybe he links some image with something I said or something I did, but suddenly he stopped to laugh and told me that I have to stop label myself, because it causes me apprehension about social approval. Well, since he told me that, I start to change my behavior and I noticed the changes in my life, personal, at work, with my friends and family. Then I wrote and gave him a hand letter explained why his advice was so important for me and expressing my gratitude for his words at that moment and I offered him my help any time he need it.

I really love the way he understands the value of people, and when he said that known people by their essence was a whisper for the soul, I realized he was a truly Pisces guy, and he speaks the same language I do.

He is a really busy guy, in one occasion he told me that “his life was not his own”; for me, that means that he is his last priority, and I feel sadness because maybe he is there for people but he can´t finds balance, maybe I´m wrong. Nevertheless, I let him know that he needs balance in his life, and he needs take some rest every day for recover that energy, because he is so tired many many times…. He responded me that he´ll try to take care (a little more) for himself 

So, I have some questions for you, maybe you can help me:

Is he giving more energy than he really can? The second: Do you think is a good idea let him know about I really worry about him, and I´d like help him? And the last one: Is ok show him my emotions about how I feel when he says something and It helps me in my day to day, is not only about thankfulness, is about he´ll know how I feel when I have a positively change in my life because his words. I ask you, because I´d like to build with him a special connection, you know, share advices, give help, show him stuff about things he likes, but I feel, for some reason he can´t (or he does not want).

Thank you so much for all and every word you write for us.


You’re welcome as it is always my hope that things will always get a little brighter for everyone after a read. Always nice to hear positive stories from people.

I am going to try my best to answer your question as there could be some lost in translation bits here where I might be comprehending what you wrote inaccurately. From the sounds of it when you say he tells you the answers without the details then in many ways I would personally say that gives you access to explore more. Because based on what you wrote and if we are going with the notion that he is super busy in always dedicating time for others then it’s natural to think that he is used to the giving but never receiving route.

In that sense you would just have to take initiative in a reasonable way if you wanted to help him or to build that connection. Kind of like how in one of my other posts where I mentioned that one girl just took initiative as she clearly recognized I was struggling. Now the quote about the “his life is not his own” is not super clear to me contextually. Example, is he saying he has like say a super religious mindset where it’s like one is constantly working for someone bigger or is that phrase more about implying that he feels he is stuck in a routine of having to satisfy something he dislikes in life per se? Although, I will assume from what you wrote about him telling you that he will try to take better care of himself is more about exhaustion.

With that said, my current interpretation would be that factoring in your comment about him apparently considering you as a close person to him might be more about an outlet to release things per se as opposed to energy of like rejuvenating. It’s like saying if a person was to walk up a steep hill at the moment it’s not literally physical energy they are lacking as they can get there without a problem. It’s the lack of motivational energy where say he wants someone to walk with him.

In terms of expressing emotions and being in his life if we are going with the notion that he thinks like me then the only thing to keep in mind is that as long as the doors are open it’s up to you to make yourself feel at home and care for it whatever way you wish. You don’t need to ask. If the door was shut on you then that is a different story.

Let’s continue with the house analogy. By the sounds of it you are in the house at the moment. In this house you can clearly see that certain things need like some kind of maintenance. Example, maybe the fridge is empty and needs some shopping, the dishes need to be put away, etc. Now you are his guest that he openly welcomed you inside his home. Because you are his guest it’s typical manners to not want your guests to worry about any of that stuff other than to just relax. Hence, he never asks for help even though you can clearly see that he is way behind or that he is stressing over it.

Like there do you think you need to ask him permission to help him? Like there I would only imagine if you knew exactly the type of stuff he ate on a daily basis then just taking initiative to help him stock up on some stuff for the fridge would probably make him feel very appreciated while recognizing your kind spirit to be concerned for him.

I would say in many ways building the connection is super easy if one has already allowed you into their life. To be clear again, not being very detailed about what is like say bothering him is not a rejection of like stopping you from entering the house. It’s simply more of a mindset that one doesn’t want to bother others with it as the mentality is the majority of people wouldn’t spend the necessary energy to do anything per se anyways. So there is no point in like spending the energy to explain it just to have the other be like “cool story bro” and then walk away if that makes sense.

As long as you are authentically yourself while at the same time wish to authentically get to know him then you really don’t need to do much other than maintaining the connection and naturally aiding him in ways you feel you can. Like saying if he is tired after the dance don’t ask him if he wants some water or whatever just offer it I’d say.


  • Jessica January 20, 2017

    Hi Alan, I hope you are fine. Thank you so much for your answer. I´ve been thinking about your words and I´ve been following your advice, well, I thought you´d like to know what´s going on with my history… and you´d be happy to know that when I notice he needs help, I just offer it without ask him, as you recommended me, but maybe I need your point of view again…
    Now let me share with you some details I did not mention before. I´m apologize again because of my grammar.
    Last October, he posted on Facebook that he will return to drama and he would be performed a play in November. I thought, it was an open invitation for all his contacts and I asked him for the tickets because I´d want to go. I went to watch his play but when it ended I realized it was an intimate event, you know? Public was conformed only by family and close friends. So I felt really odd because I started to talk with him since September by messenger, and I did not feel as a friend yet. Then two days later I told him my feelings about that day, so, he said his invitation was not open, it was only for close people to him. I don´t know if, as you said, he has lack on motivational energy and needs someone, but I noticed he did not consider me (at that moment) only as a “Facebook Contact”. Am I right? Nevertheless, I don´t think I´d be the person who he needs (or wants) to walk with him. Why I said this…
    Well, nowadays, I´m very confused, he is really hard to read, so, that is the reason I thought he did not want to share details with me. Sometimes he only ignores me during the class and sometimes I can feel his attention on me, but he doesn´t interact directly with me like with other girls, and somedays, I swear, he only runs away from me. Our “friendship” is really odd: from my point of view he is avoid any kind of interaction with me except for “my soul´s gifts”. Let me explain you: on Christmas I wrote a hand letter to him, but it was not a common letter, it was a gift for him from my soul and he really understood the point, he said he was thankful and he really appreciate it. I know he is very happy when I give him a letter because he enjoys to know people from their souls (he told me that), so, I try to express him through my words some of my deep feelings, I really share him some of my soul experiences and I explain him how I´ve been growing in a personal and emotional way thanks to his words and not verbal communication, I do not how it works because we don’t have long conversations face to face or in a live chat, but in a strange manner it works.
    I really want to be his friend and support him anytime he needs it, however, I cannot find the way to approach to him face to face because I do not understand why he is apparently so cold with me, he explained me he does not show his feelings easily but I see the interaction he has with other people and I wonder if I´m on the right way building a kind of spiritual-emotional “friendship” because his behavior scares me… and I know it scares me because I do not understand it and maybe I do not have to understand it. But at the same time I feel vulnerable because I let him know part of myself without that mask we use always for social interaction… but I don’t know him in the same way or maybe he is showing me the same I show him and I´m not able to read it.

  • Alan January 21, 2017

    Hi Jessica,

    Nice hearing an update from you. As strange as it may sound, with what you wrote I am inclined to say like your example on how he interacts with the other girls versus you is a good thing if we factor in things like what you mentioned about the hand letter and all. On a surface level you may say “He hates me…..he is chatting it up with those other girls and not me…”

    But funny enough often times for a person like myself that can be due to more already having a definite classification on who the person is in my life. For example, if for whatever reason I am 100% sure this one girl is nothing more than a friend then I am going to be able to chat with her freely in a fun and open way. If for another girl I felt there may be something there for a serious relationship but I am not sure then I would be more analytical and slow-paced. The goofy cartoony example too is like how when one person is not attracted to the other they are normal but as soon as someone who they find dazzling enters the room they get nervous and all. So again, this can all be a good thing.

    If you are continuing to take those initiatives and all then to me personally you are on the right track. I would think afterwards just be open with sharing basic happenings in your life and see how he reacts to it. That’s all you really need to do if he is in tune with you as he should react to that. Just give him an opportunity to say do something positive for you that you really need if that make sense.

  • Jessica April 2, 2017

    Hi Alan,
    How are you?
    I hope you have had a great and happy birthday with people who loves you and you love too. On that date, I think, most important is enjoy every show of affection of every person that you really appreciate. Everyone has their own way for demonstrating love. Then, for me, every birthday is relevant because you learned about life, you met new people, you reached goals, you enjoyed experiences and moments, you made decisions… Every year is special for those reasons, so, I really hope you have been happy that day.

    I did not write you before because I had an emotional conflict… I learned about it and I grew in a personal way, even if it really hurt me. I need to tell you that your posts helped me to understand the situation I was living and now I can confirm that actions are more important than words. I´m very grateful with you for writing all those words. Thank you!! (Of course, this situation was not about Pisces guy I told you before)

    On the other hand, I was thinking about what you wrote in your last response. You mentioned the word “Dazzling”, I have to confess that it would be nice he considers me in that way but now I´m very confuse.

    I´ll try to update you about my relation with him: As a consequence of my emotional conflict I stopped communication with people around me (I use to insulate me in that cases). Additionally, he decided to take some time for relaxing and now there is only a dancing class in the week. During last month I noticed he was a little more “cold” with me. But until I began to feel better I started to approach him again. I have to say you that in my worst moment I asked him for a little favor and he did it for me, but he never asked what was going on with me. At the beginning I thought he just did not care, nevertheless, I remember you always say that if you don´t care, you just do not attend requests from others.

    Little by little I began to send him messages again, but this time he did not say much, he always responded me however I was worried because he did not ask me something or extend the conversation. Though, I continued to send him messages because I don´t care be the one who started the communication. Hence when his birthday came I wrote him a personal message with my personal point of view about what birthdays represent for me and I expressed him my congrats, he was grateful about it.

    Last weekend I noticed a great bruise in his right leg and I remembered I had one two weeks ago, so, my reaction was share my own experience and tell him about how he could calm pain using some remedies. Wednesday, I sent him a message to know what was happened with his activity on drama, he told me that he hopes to return on stage very soon and he would like to convert it in some more professional, not only like a hobby… Well, again my reaction was share a personal situation with him and I told him that if it was his dream he really can do it but he needs to make the first move. At this point I felt fine just know some information about him, I was decided do not stop communication again and if he´ll never ask me in return, it would be fine for me. It was odd, yet nice.

    Despite this, on Friday morning I received a message from him. I was very surprised because he never send me a text first, he used to text me for responding. He sent a text that said: “I saw this and I thought of you” and then sent an image with the next phrase: “Never hide your weird preferences, there will always be a “weird person” who considers you AWESOME”…

    He knows about my “fear” of people judgement with regard to my little odd likes but also he knows those odd preferences because we have some in common. I thanked him and said that I will always remember it and he respond me with a smile 🙂 After that, I saw him yesterday and I´m very surprised because he was open with me, I felt him comfortable with my presence, he did not run away like in the past, even he hold me when I said good bay.

    Maybe, it is an irrelevant thing for many people, but for me it says a lot. He has many similarities with your kind of personality, trust me, sometimes it is like if he has been written some of your posts. So, I´m afraid of reading the meaning of it in a wrong way. What do you think?
    Days ago a friend of mine recommended me to tell him my feelings about him, but for me it could be a way to go against to the flow, so I just preferred share things or help him as you recommended me. But now, I don´t know how to react 🙁 It was a suddenly and contrasting change!
    (Sorry again my grammar errors)

  • Alan April 4, 2017

    Thank you for the birthday wishes and positive energy. 🙂

    From what you wrote it sounds like everything is going well. It’s not surprising to me anyways where you took the time to listen and relate with his situation to show care which directly translates to him caring about you back.

    With everything you wrote with the fact that you said he even held you as you said goodbye to me personally anyways those are the kind of moments that I often say where a person like myself wants things to “naturally happen”. I am inclined to say if you were to change anything you could have probably actually took a bit more initiative there and see what happened. Like if you mean he held you such as he held your hand then you could have probably took initiate to give him like a friendly hug as the goodbye instead. From there you can tell so much as to how he feels about you based on things like how long he keeps it and so forth. Very safe and non-awkward way to indirectly find out how a person that thinks like me feels as the actions make it pretty clear.

    I personally wouldn’t recommend just coming out verbally as it can force the person to give you answers when they could legitimately not be sure about what they are feeling yet. I would just stay on the track of what you are doing now and again take the opportunity to get closer when they come. I know if that was me as an example with what you wrote you would “catch” me pretty easily like that.

  • Jessica April 4, 2017

    Dear Alan,
    Thank you for taking the time to read and write back. I really appreciate your responses, always.
    I think I confused the meaning of words, as you can see english is not my native language. Even, I realized sometimes I did not conjugate verbs in the right way (sorry about that).

    Then, I must to clarify the situation: I was very surprised because he hugged me. I was looking for the meaning of both words, so, I concluded it was a hug. He gave me a friendly hug and I felt him comfortable doing that. As you said: “it was natural.” My astonishment was on the fact he took the initiative to send the message and then he hugged me. But now I understand he reacted to my action of taking care about his situation. ?

    As you said, I stay on the track of doing those kinds of actions. For example, I noticed it appeared another bruise during the last class. He told me that everything was ok, but I remember when I was studying for being a doctor (eventually I changed my mind) I learned to observe people looking for data and he was not fine. So, I called a friend of mine for asking about his situation, she is a doctor, so she gave me some recommendations as a specialist because it is an injury that requires some cares. My friend and I wrote a document for him, it explains all actions he must do for helping his leg to heal and I sent it to him. He was very grateful and he told me that he really appreciates it.

    Being honest with you: I do those things because I feel fine helping others.
    However, I know to him is different: there are feelings I have about him because he makes me feel fine just the way I am. This is the reason I feel scared to react in some way wrong or do not be able to “see” the opportunity to get closer. Being honest, I´m afraid to feel something more and he won’t feel de same.

    I´m very grateful for all you write for me. You are the only person who I can talk about him, other people do not understand the way he is, most of them just told me that if he does not date me or something like that he is not interested, but when I found your blog I confirmed myself that he has his own way to do things, and it is like you. Thank you for “listening”.

  • Jessica April 10, 2017

    Dear Alan,
    I really hope you´re fine. 🙂
    I have a question for you…
    I was reading other posts from you and I found one where you´re talking about how you use an armour, as an analogy for meeting a person.

    Now, let me relate it with my situation:
    I described you all the situation about his injury…
    Last weekend I saw him, so, I was hopping find him a little more open with me, maybe not in the same way when he hugged me. It was awkward because I noticed him staring at me sometimes during the class, but when it finished I walked toward him for asking about his recovery, but he just ran away from me, again. It was evident he did not want to extend the conversation about his recovery, he just told me that it felt better, he took his bag and went downstairs. The funny thing is that he was not hurry, I found him sitting outside with a friend and when I said, “good bye” he just responded with a shy smile.
    I´m not upset or disappointed, not really, I just want to understand him better and make him feel fine with my presence, that´s all.

    My question is:
    Is this scenario like your analogy? Is this a kind of turn it “on- off” situation because of the armour?

    P.S. I´d like to know why you aren´t write another post on “General Thoughts” section?

    Thank you so much.

  • Alan April 10, 2017

    Based on what you wrote I wouldn’t say the armour analogy is accurate for this. Because technically with that analogy I would be say calm and collected where there is nothing to fear. Based on what you wrote though he seems intimidated in some way such as things are going really fast in his mind. Either that or it could be the place you are at where maybe it’s giving too much potential attention and message to everyone where you two are like a couple if they see that which he wants to avoid for whatever reason(I would too if that was the case). Example, it could be the pressure of having to make it official when he isn’t entirely ready. It would make perfect sense to me that way.

    For the general thoughts section originally I had that to literally talk about general things on my mind or technical site related topics. But I figured too people have often attempted to have general conversations with me on their question posts. So for better organization I created the forum feature where that can all be done there. I haven’t had a need for any general topic posts as a result since so ultimately that’s the reason there haven’t been any posts there.

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