Help me win back my pisces man

Zaira Asks:

I am a Scorpio girl who recently fell in love with a pisces. He always thought i was his dream girl be we didnt talk to each other until 3 weeks ago. He messaged me on instagram and we started talking and right away i knew he was crushing on me. I later asked him if he liked me and he said he did but i wasnt ready to date. He said he understood. But he kept making. Huge compliments about me that no guy has before and i started falling in love with him and i told him.

A week later he asked me out. We have both been really happy but two days ago i got into some severe family issues and i selfharmed . I told him aboutit and then he had been ignoring me that night and the day after. Last night hesaid he had mixed fellings and that he doesnt want to be with me because i self harmed and unstable.

I have been apologizing like crazy, telling him that he means the world to me and that i will get some help but hes not texting me back. Im scared. Tomarrow i go to school, everyone wull notice im not with him and will ask me whats wrong and i dont want to break down and start crying like a baby.

Please give me some advice?

Zaira,

Your scenario obviously deals with a lot more than just figuring out what the other is thinking. This has more to do with yourself where your energy should be spent on that as oppose to him I feel. I think the key to your situation is to not apologize to the world as a way to get acceptance. Instead, you should be apologizing to yourself and realizing there are better ways to deal with things like stress than self-harming yourself.

Now obviously for him he has reached to a point where his energy and experience simply can’t deal with what you need. I wouldn’t hold that against him but instead realize that for this person that is their limit. Constantly asking/expecting him to come back with this situation in a sense would be hurting him too. You wouldn’t want that correct? Maybe he’ll turn around and gather the strength to support you, but don’t expect it I say.

It’s a little difficult for me as I don’t really know you along with the specific details of your issues. This is why I would encourage you, if you haven’t already, to actually talk to someone face to face about this(Preferably an experienced adult). Example, if you are going to school as you mentioned I assume there should be people such as counselors who are there to listen and help you with your issues.

You might think that is stupid, but again with the topic of trying to get the guy back it starts with you being strong with yourself. As an exaggeration, as much as you would want to be friends with someone in like say a sports game if all they did when they were around you was tell you how horrible life is and that you are all going to lose for sure would you want to be around that person? Afterwards, how would it sound to you if that person started to wonder why no one is talking to them anymore? Like there, I would assume even you would say that they need to fix themselves first.

Like most things, the first step to recovery I feel is taking ownership of whatever it is you feel is bad. Just as an example, you said you are scared to tell people where you will breakdown and start crying. In my opinion, that means you are hiding your issue which doesn’t help you overall. I can’t speak for everyone of course, but imagine if for some reason me, myself, literally just teleported into your life. For myself, I encourage people to tell me what they are truly thinking and I try my best to listen and relate. I don’t judge you for it as in many cases I understand people need to “let it out.” In fact, to me and many other people we would see it as a positive quality that you can talk to others about it.

If you are afraid that these people will judge you then you should find a person, such as those counselors, where you can feel safe in revealing your thoughts and concerns. Take it one step at a time. It’s like saying you just fell down and hurt your leg. Doesn’t matter if it was a result of something unexpected such as you getting hit by a car or something silly such as jumping on the bed and accidentally falling down the wrong way. You are not helping anyone by hiding that injury.

Now you may say technically you did tell someone which was him, but what this tells you is that he simply isn’t the right person to help you in this situation. Don’t let that one person scare you from finding the right help and it’s good that you at least had the courage to tell someone.