Help!

Marie Asks:

Hi Alan,

I just wanted to start off by saying I love your blog. It has truly helped me gained a new understanding of Pisces so thank you so much.

I am not sure where to begin and this is going to be hard trying to keep it as general as possible but I will try my best. I met a Pisces about 7 months ago at a party. He’s 9 years older than me and I was very hesitant about him in the beginning. He was very persistent and spoke to me every single day which after a while I became comfortable. He was different unlike any other man I’ve met and we began to hang out often. We eventually ending up sleeping with each other, although I felt things were moving so fast. He would always reassure me that he cares about me and he would never hurt me.

After 2 months, I felt as if he was becoming so distant towards me. He wouldn’t call as much, wouldn’t text as much, wouldn’t make any effort to see me. It even got to the point where he wasn’t returning my calls or texts. I had no idea what went wrong since everything was going fine. After many attempts of contact, I eventually stopped reaching out.

About a month passed and I have not heard anything from my Pisces. He suddenly reached out to me apologizing trying to make things better between us. He tried to explain to me that he had a few personal things going on. I forgave him and we were back to normal like how we were before.

Every two weeks I felt as if he would become distant again. It was like a pattern, a never ending cycle over and over again. We would argue all the time because I started feeling down about this situation and each time I would bring how I felt up, it would just escalate into an argument or him ignoring me.

Each time we argue I would ask if he would please just leave me alone and he would pick and chose which texts he responds to. The minute I am ready to leave and move on, he tries to win me back. I am just not sure what he wants from me. One minute he wants me and we are fine for a few weeks then again he becomes distant and ignores me. This pattern has been going on for months and I know it would only continue.

I wish I was able to give more detail but I was trying to keep it general for posting purposes. My question is, do you think I should just leave and forget him or should I try to talk to him about how I feel about him because I really do care.

Any advice is appreciated and thank you so much for your time.

Marie,

I am happy to hear that some of the content has helped you. 😀

Your question kind of reminded me of what I said to another person recently. Basically, with a person with my type of personality if things are going way too fast I would actually be very skeptical about it. Based on what you wrote, I am going out on a limb and saying that it feels like you got used sexually and afterwards he was planting seeds in your head to get you to think otherwise.

To me, that explains why after this event he gradually started to trail off while making excuses as to why he hasn’t been there. Afterwards, contacting you occasionally is again more of just a way to try and hide it more. Cause let’s be honest, stereo-typically in our minds if the guy is just using you for like sex he would just flat out ignore you completely after right? However, unfortunately for many they learn from the perceptions of society to help make themselves look good. The pattern and habits seem to fit this.

Ultimately, because he got what he wanted from you and doesn’t want to come across as like a user he has to maintain that sporadic communication with you until there is a valid scenario that in most people’s mind would justify a “breakup” per se. So like there you can’t say you were used, but rather you just broke up due to an indifference.

Maybe you do know but just couldn’t write it because you need to keep things general here, but to really verify these types of actions I would personally suggest verifying these “personal things” that he says has been going on to see if it is valid or not. Because to me so far it sounds like he isn’t being authentically honest with you where I would say “Run, run now!”

But I would suggest doing things like the information verification before jumping to conclusions.

P.S.

You are actually the first that wrote here publicly where you wanted to explain more but obviously can’t due to the public nature (I know there are a lot just like you too). If anyone has any suggestions or ideas on how I could accommodate such a thing while at the same time enabling it to help others too feel free to let me know as I have never been able to find a good way to do so.