pisces man go with the flow
Reader Questions

How Can A Pisces Men Feel Touched?

SJ Asks:

Hi Alan, I’ve read almost all of your posts and I find that you are the best person to give me advices. You provided great details and I feel that you are a very kind person, helping others with their problems. I am a Libra woman and had before an unsuccessful relationship with a Pisces men in my school days and another one recently in my workplace. To cut things short, I need your help in knowing what things makes Pisces men like you get touched and feel appreciated?

What presents or words of comfort or actions would you loved to receive the most? I handmade a thank you card for him and a pen engraved with his name on it as a farewell present for him. He opened the present and he seems to be thinking for a second and he says that he will definitely use it with a smile but I didn’t manage to see his expression of the card as he did not open it in front of me. The next day, he did not mention anything about it as well.

(Second Part)

Sorry Alan, my previous message was send out to you incomplete as I accidentally pressed wrongly while editing.

To continue with it, my past relationship with a Pisces in school was unsuccessful as I confessed my feelings for him and he told me we should be friends. So for this current one, I dare not make the first move in letting my feelings show.

All that I did was to care for him, once he was really sick and I texted him to drink more water and asked if he was slightly better at different hours of the day. And I will also buy our work team food and drinks and he will do the same as well. He always come over to my desk and sit close to me and have small talks… Once or twice he actually ask me weird questions like “I thought you are always sticking with me!” when once I did not follow him on an errand and he say he thought he saw me there when I wasn’t.

Another one was I am being called to do something that I didn’t wish to and after he knew it he say why didn’t I tell him about it… I was left speechless as to why do I have to tell him as we are just colleagues. And I answer that it’s just a small issue so it’s okay.

There are many other confusing things that he did and it will be a lengthy one if I continue… I get the feeling that he is interest in me only physically not emotionally as he frequently brushes past against me and frequently looking at me whenever he pass by my desk yet when I message him he will reply but never continue the conversation… May I know your thoughts about these? Thanks for your patience in reading my post.


Thank you for your kind words. For the sake of the topic being touched and appreciated, getting items such as a pen engraved with my name on it doesn’t mean much if there is no significance to the story behind it. In many ways it would be like going to the gift shop and buying a cup that has a person’s name. It’s a cute gift I would be thankful for, but it wouldn’t necessarily hit me in the way you are hoping.

I don’t know exactly what the context of the farewell gift was with what you wrote, but a person like myself would have probably been extremely touched and appreciated if it was a simple letter that came straight from the heart. Example, expressing how we have helped each other, made each other grow, remember sentimental stuff that is unique to us, offering to be there if I need it, etc.

Now this may sound contradicting for you as based on what you wrote it sounds like you confessing your feelings to a person did not produce an ideal outcome. However, the good news is for a person like myself you shouldn’t ever need to come all out in an attempt to start something. With my type of personality, all I need is for you to be the initiator of sort. Like if you wrote that letter, which doesn’t say “I love you” but rather your appreciation for what we have, I would try to arrange ways we can stay in contact. A person like me will take action if I feel there is something good between us.

For what you wrote on the second part, to me it makes perfect sense about him questioning why you didn’t tell him about the job you didn’t want to do. By the sounds of it, you were extremely caring when he was really sick. Essentially, being attentive and concerned for him when he isn’t in the best condition. Therefore, he wants to return this for when you aren’t having the best day and is surprised you wouldn’t allow him to do what you have done for him. In that sense, it feels like he is trying to get to know you better and you are on his mind.

Him frequently brushing past yet replying to your messages with no follow up to me sounds like he simply doesn’t know what to do. I am only working with what I have of course, but if I was to fit this in with what you wrote it would make sense to me like this. Basically, at first he thought that he could connect with you closer in terms of being a source of positivity for when you are down in life. However, that didn’t turn out to be the case and so he is confused as to how to proceed with you.

He still wants to get closer with you and so he initiates these “brushes” in hopes that you will respond back as a way to show you are interested in him back. Still no response but not giving up, he responds to every communication you send to him promptly because he still wants to pursue this but has no clue how and if he should move forward.

Again, this is all assumptions based on the limited information but that type of scenario would make sense to me. Of course it doesn’t particularly say if he just wants you for physical reasons of course as that is another topic.

So back to the original question of what a person like me would love to receive the most to feel touched. At the end of the day, to feel touched I would say it’s about demonstrating similar life values. This will of course vary depending on the person’s background and experience. Example, if I was the type of person who would run into a house that is on fire to save a life and I see you do the same that will instantly touch me because there has to be a reason I am so passionate in doing that. So seeing someone else do it makes me feel touched simply due to the fact that I see a bit of myself in you.

To feel appreciated, the most straight forward answer is knowing that you are there for me too. Even more so if I didn’t specifically ask for it. Example, if one day I had something stolen from me and I see people take their own initiative to try and help me find the culprit that simple action alone, regardless if I actually get the item back, makes me feel appreciated as people are compelled to try and take care of me back. Think of it like a tree. If you really appreciate it you aren’t just going to take its fruit and stand by as someone attempts to chop it down. It doesn’t have to speak for you to want to water it or scare away the culprits.

It’s not too complicated when you think about. In essence it’s largely just about you being yourself too. If we have similar matching values and all then it should play out smoothly. Hopefully all this didn’t sound too deep or philosophical. For someone like myself it truly is about connecting though.


  • SJ October 11, 2015

    Hey Alan, thank you for these explanations. I fully understand what you are trying to deliver. The context of the letter was to thank him for being a source of inspiration for me, (he did trigger the the me in me) being a mentor, a friend to me. And saying that I will always remember the things that you have taught me etc… I bought him the pen with name because he used to like a pen that is a random free stationery from distributor, he find it extremely good but lose it at work. So I engraved this present with his name so it belongs to him solely. It will make perfect sense to him if he still remember on what he said. His job requires him to be constantly writing. I have to agree I shared similar interests and principles in life as his as while we talked we are able to complete each other sentences. We even have similar liking and dislike in food and have the same last name and first letter in our name so our initials are the same.
    Finally I knew what hold him back… I was confused on his interest by his lack of advances and as he is always friendly to everyone I thought I was just one of them. And then, he is confused by me not accepting his advances or so I guessed. Now that we don’t see each other anymore is the barrier. I still texts him once in awhile to ask how is he doing and I congrats him on his new business. (Knew it by stalking him on Internet) oops. But I meant well. But he never initiate to message me though. Maybe I was too late. We are too alike, being passive and reserved.
    Thank you Alan, you were spot on but I guess I have to move on.

  • SJ October 25, 2015

    Hi Alan, I have tried so hard to let go of this guy and I am even trying to see someone else but still he will keep appearing in my mind. I haven’t contacted him and I refrain myself from doing so because I am always the one who initiate things. If after all these times, he did not message me does it means that he have already ‘forgotten’ about me? The last message I sent him was a month ago and he didn’t reply to my last message and I am somewhat embarassed as I got a feeling he seems to be kind of avoiding me in a nice way?? I know this question is rather subjective but I wish to know a few answers to some of my questions.
    1. If a Pisces man like you not initiating contact does it mean she’s not crossing your mind?
    2. Would you choose not to contact someone even though if you miss her etc? Maybe due to the fact of some reasons you might think we are not meant to be together?
    3. Why would he be eager to reply to messages yet after a few exchanges he doesn’t answer to the question I last sent to him? It happened quite a few times and I am puzzled by this. But the next time I message him he seems normal and enthusiastically chatting again. I do not send repeated message if he doesn’t reply so I do not think I am pestering him. And the questions I ask is pretty simple and straightforward too. Please help and do not need to worry about hurting my feelings as I need the truth if he only sees me as a friend without romantic interest all along.

  • Alan October 26, 2015


    I will answer your questions in order first:

    1) If I am not initiating contact the generic answer would be I don’t feel that I have a reason to. In the sense of a relationship this doesn’t mean you aren’t crossing my mind as an example. But for someone like me who is more reserved I am not one to just randomly message people to strike up a conversation. It’s how fast I reply and the level of engagement afterwards is what you should be focused on. That’s often why I say do things like activity inviting as it gives a reserved person like me a natural opportunity to learn more about you.

    2) In a relationship sense, not thinking we were meant to be or that it wouldn’t work out is often a huge reason why a person like me wouldn’t contact someone even if I miss them as you say. Example, it could be we had a blast going to this amusement park together. However, like for myself I am not a going to the bar and getting drunk silly kind of guy. Imagine I saw you doing that. So to me that is a sign that our personalities are very different despite how much fun we may have had for a potential relationship. It’s highly unlikely I would initiate the contact there either to explore more about you even though I miss you per se.

    3) That’s kind of hard to answer as I don’t know the context of these messages. It could be the questions you ask are somehow demanding of him which he doesn’t want to commit to or that he feels your request needs to take a back seat to other things. Or the more analytical answer would be one of those “I see where this question is going to lead to” and so instead one just avoids it all together. The fact that he replies fast though to me says he is at least open to being engaged with you at the moment which is a good thing.

    With the information I have it seemed like he was trying to get cozier with you initially and that’s not something you do if you just want to be friends. But for technicality purposes you are simply a friend to him as of now. Based on what you wrote in the past too it sounds like you could easily sway him with things like suggesting what life can be like if he was with you more. That is up to you though as that is not everyone’s style.

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