Is he not into me?

Aesh Asks:

I’m a Gemini woman. My Pisces and I were on and off for about 5 years till he completely disappeared. While he was gone, I decided to move on and get married. After I got married he resurfaced every now and then asking if I was happy and how I was doing. I had a child and he would find ways to stay in touch. My feelings (that never went away) came back and he said he felt for me too. He asked me to meet him a few times but I refused.

2 days ago I decided to take the plunge and met him at his place. We sat, spoke, he asked a lot of personal questions about my life. It was extremely awkward, I was nervous and conscious. His body language showed he was interested. When I was leaving he asked for a hug and then kissed me. I backed away but then hugged him and kissed him on the neck a couple of times. I am in love with this man but I was just too scared of what might happen if I did play into his hands.

He dropped me to the car, opened doors, put his fingers through this hair (positive body language I assume). He even told me to come over often. After I left I messaged to tell him I’m home. He didn’t try to further the conversation. He hasn’t texted. He keeps uploading snaps and insta stories of love songs. Then last night he uploaded snaps with some girl in the car.

I reacted by saying ‘good luck’. And he said ‘with?’ And then went on to say she’s just a friend and already has a boyfriend. I told him I’m not an idiot. Anyway, I just don’t know what’s going on. Did our meeting make him realize he’s not interested? It’s giving me low self esteem and I’m feeling heart broken.

Aesh,

With the details you gave it’s a little hard to conclude if you may be over reacting or not in terms of the girl in the car snap. I was a little unclear if you were actually married still which in my personal opinion that doesn’t sound like a good idea to get near him if so. But regardless you implied that he was in a sense pursuing you during that time where you explicitly refused. That in itself shows a lot.

Combining all that with him coming in and out of your life would tell me that the relationship for him is more about lust. Yes, I do agree that actions such as his fingers going through your hair is a positive sign of say interest and attraction, but what he wants in the long term is the real thing to think about. Another way to think about it is it seems like he is more focused in doing what’s best for him as opposed to you. Granted in every relationship there should be balance but just using myself as an example if I was to imagine me “really” wanting you but know that you are “taken” I would be thinking about you in the sense of I don’t want to disrupt your life because of my own “wants” per se. Therefore I would stay away. From what you wrote though he seemed persistent with confidence that he could do it. That’s on top of you saying no too.

The most realistic “positive” scenario I can think of with that girl in the snap and assuming he is truly more about himself is that the picture in some way helps to elevate him socially. So it’s not that he isn’t interested in you but rather it’s more about him and his need to get say as much “attention” as possible. So that would align with him still genuinely being interested in you but I would personally question if that is truly what you want if what I wrote is correct.