Long Distance Pisces Romance Confuses Me

Z Asks:

Hi, there! I’m so glad I found your website. At this point, I’m desperate for an answer and I really have no one else to ask.

I’m a Cancer female and I met my Pisces male through Tumblr, so quite through extraordinary circumstances. We started out as acquaintances, then as friends and before I knew it, I had fallen totally head over heels in love. Now, at this point, we’ve known each other for about two years and talk fairly regularly via Facebook. Let me just state, for the record, HE’S the one who originally pursued me.

It’s strictly long distance, though, I live in the U.S. and he lives in Scotland, and I know he’s busy. He works a full-time job and is in school. But we still haven’t Skyped yet. I’ve given him my number and we haven’t talked or texted yet. I’ve told him a lot about my life and I know next to nothing about his so far. In fact, he’s never really even specified that we’re exclusive; he rarely tags me in shit on Facebook or initiates the conversation (I have to do it most of the time). The only thing that really gives me any hope for us is that when we DO talk, he tells me things like he wants to have a marriage with me but he wants us to meet first, and that when I visit Scotland, he wants to show me the highlands and the islands. He says he needs a constant in his life and that’s me. He gets jealous when he even thinks there’s someone else.

Then there’s times like the past two weeks where we hardly speak at all, and I’ll try to initiate a conversation and he’s a total ass and is curt with me like he can’t stand to talk to me and it makes me feel embarrassed that I even said anything, and completely afraid to try to say anything else. And when I’m silent that’s when he’ll go through everything I post on Facebook and like it all. I don’t understand it, but I’m trying to be patient and understanding, and I’m always there for him when he needs me.

I want to confront him about this and get some up front answers but I don’t know how, and I don’t want to sound accusatory or anything. And if he wants to end this, I want him to just tell me outright rather than beat around the bush. What should I do? How can I bring this up to him? Thank you for your time. 🙂

Z,

My first reaction to this type of scenario is usually the same. If you have been talking for that long with each other and you still have never seen the person’s face through something as simple as a video chat then something is wrong. Especially with a connection that originated in an online environment and him claiming he wants to marry you. I would say the primary goal should be to get away from text based chat. Again, if the person constantly refuses then I’d be walking the other way as it seems like you are psyching yourself out as to who this person really is. Who doesn’t have a webcam built into something as simple as a smartphone as an example nowadays?

All you really need to do is request like a skype chat in a polite and courteous way. Ask when he is free and such beforehand I’d say. In saying that, I feel if he continues to give you the run-around then you simply need to be fully prepared to walk. As an example of personal stories I have seen with people, there was one situation where a girl opened herself up to a guy online who constantly refused to video chat or meet in-person. It was ultimately discovered that the guy was a teenager which explained a lot.

I don’t even feel that this situation has anything to do with personality or mindset as opposed to Internet safety. I sure would want to actually do a video chat before even entertaining the idea of flying to another country to meet someone. Again, you don’t have to do this in a blunt ultimatum way to him directly. But realistically you should have that in mind for yourself I feel based on the circumstance.