Hello there, Alan!!
I apologize in advance, this is gonna be a long one.
I started a new job recently and met a Pisces guy. (I’m a Libra women btw) The first time he ever spoke to me, I thought for sure he was making fun of me. I was wearing a t shirt that had a ufo on it and he asked me if i believed in aliens because he did. We were cut off by the supervisors making an announcement. Later he caught up with me and continued the conversation, I had explained it was from a tv show…ect. I was initially put off by how intense he was when he spoke to me. a day or two had passed and he bumped into me and asked if we worked the same shift, which we do, they are long 10-11 hour days we work over night in a warehouse. A few more days passed and we found our selves in a different department doing a different job. There was a bunch of us, a lot of us were new and clueless including me. He was hell bent on training, even though he wasn’t a trainer. They said it was okay and he showed me the basics. He came back periodically to check up on me, and eventually started to strike up a conversation claiming he was training me but I already had what I was doing down pat. Long story short, he spent 7 hours walking and talking with me with mild flirting. Cutesy things, almost like he was testing the waters.
He stayed with me during both lunch breaks and offered his food but i didn’t want any. Someone had come up and asked how things were with me and my ex, and i told them how it was and they left. He asked,”so you have a man?” the situation is complicated, I am single but I do live with my ex as I’m trying to find a place of my own. I told him I’m a heartbreaker jokingly and he had said something about “I’m gonna have my hands full with you, arent I” He’d drop hints after lunch about how he wants to cuddle after he eats…ect.He must have asked me about 1,000 questions that day. Told me things about himself as well, like kids were a deal breaker for him, he doesnt like to be all over his partner at work but has no problems with pda and just random things like that. Insisted that I come over and pierce his ears once he found out I pierced my own nose, I told him I wouldnt do that, said he would pay me, I said no. He said, “I’ll pay you in episodes of the twilight zone” Which I thought was really sweet because we found common ground, he loves that show, and ive never really given it a chance. So I said we’ll see. Everyone kept calling us lovebirds that day. He didn’t seem to mind.
A day or so passes and I’m at my regular station and its about hour into our shift and he casually picks the station right behind mine. We spend alot of the night talking about all kinds of things, he opens up to me about some of the difficult times in his life involving family and looked me dead in the eyes with this serious expression, and said that he never tells people these things. I was happy he felt confident to confide in me. He kept bringing up the ear piercing so I finally said okay and he was like, “REALLY!?” like his face just completely lit up, like he couldnt believe it was happening. We laugh all the time with each other, his personality is so bright and vibrant, he makes me crack up.
So, he asked for my number before we left for the night so he could text me about the ear piercing. Like four days went by and I got no text, nothing. He was slightly distant but he still made sure to show off in front of me and come up to see me when he could. He gets real loud, coy, and just eccentric around me. So it’s the night before we are supposed to hang out, and no texts. I thought for sure that he had forgotten about it. So I go to sleep and wake up to a good morning text with a hugging emoji, I think it’s adorable. So we decide on a time. Hes late, or course. supposed to go out at 4, hes not there until 7. I misunderstood the plans, and we ended up not being able to do the ear piercing, but he says he is hungry and knows I love sushi so we decided to go to a place he knows well, we make small talk and we both love spontaneous things like that.
The atmosphere is perfect, the food is great. I’m so nervous becuase I dont want to ruin things, I take a long time to come out of my shell when I like someone forreal. He got irritated because he wanted to share the soup with me but I guess the waitress didnt understand? He seemed slightly nervous and shy inviting me over to go swimming sometimes. He continued on asking me more questions about where I’d want to be if I could be anywhere in the world. And if I like wine. Little things. Told me about a nice Italian place his parents use to visit frequently.
I had my hands out on the table, and noticed his were too and it looked like he was wanting to hold my hands but I ended up moving them to get a drink of water. we left at almost 9 and he brought me home. We both had fun and i said we should do it again soon and he said we will. The next day at work things seemed tense? He smiled and walked me upstairs to my station and asked me if I was in a good mood, and I said I was in an okay mood and giggled and asked if he was as well and he said yeah. But it wasn’t convincing, ya know?
Like there was something else there. But I was still nervous around him, and decided to let him have his space, I didnt want to scare him off. He became a little bit more distant over the past week. He’ll stand next to me in our morning meeting and pat my head and talk to me, he was calling him self stupid alot the other day and I told him he wasn’t but he kept saying he was, but hes just withdrawn. When we see each other, we both cant help but get that smile, you know the one where you’re just so happy about someone being in your presence that you literally can not help but get this big smile on your face.
Anyway, I’ve sent him 2 texts that he hasn’t replied to over the course of a week. A day ago I straight up told him how I felt. Like, I can’t help it I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I say what I feel. I told him, I thought his personality was refreshing and have enjoyed talking to him over the past few weeks and would love to get to know him better. I said I wasn’t trying to rush things, or corner him, I just wanted to tell him how I felt on my end. No reply. Took a chance, and now I’m starting to wonder if that was the wrong move to make. It just sucks, because when I fall for someone, I fall hard and quick. So I have no idea what’s going on anymore, and I’m not used to it. Usually I’m pretty good at knowing if a guy is into me, but this one, this one is giving me a run for my money. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you for listening.
With the amount of details he shared with you so quickly and pro activeness in wanting to know details about you the first thing that comes to my mind is he is looking to passively get you to do things that he wants. For example, telling you all his life stories in a short time span to me feels more like it is to sway you into taking action with him per se as opposed to expressing it purely as a form of relatable connection with another if that make sense. That feels like it correlates with the other actions you mentioned.
Think of it like a situation where someone wants say an expensive gift or item. Instead of just asking for it which would make them seem greedy or needy they instead bombard people with all these stories on how they have such a difficult life and all. The hope afterwards is that people will feel compelled to buy him the stuff.
That makes sense as to why like you say now he would stand next to you and pat you on the head while calling himself stupid. Like there it’s kind of like what the person would want you to do is say “oh no…you aren’t stupid” and then follow it up by you taking initiative to kiss him. Likewise, him asking you what your mood was is a passive way to get you to hopefully do something for him. Example, he wanted to start talking about troubled life stuff again.
Sending him all those texts with no response too in this context, assuming you actually saw him at the workplace being active still, would indicate to me he feels you are emotionally more powerful than him that he can’t match. For most people they need to feel they are equal or higher. That to me makes sense why your direct message of wanting to get to know him better got no reply despite how pro-active he seemed in trying to get to know you.
Think of it like this where you and I are going to walk up these huge stairs to get to a mountain peak. You just can’t literally walk up those stairs without some kind of aid whereas I can. So instead of just wanting to start walking up with me you would constantly tell me how you never really tried going up steep stairs or cliffs in life. Ultimately what you are trying to say is even though you want to walk up with me you literally can’t unless I hold your arm for a long period of time or literally carry you up for a large portion of it.
You can imagine in that instance there is no way you would just come out and ask me to do that for you right? It would probably make you feel “weak”. At the same time if one day I just say, “Ashley, let’s walk up these stairs today as I want to talk to you” mostly likely you would probably ignore me too. But in terms of getting up the hill I bet if I said “Hey Ashley, I have tickets for a skyride to go up the top today. Let’s go and talk” more likely you would do it with the circumstance.
So ultimately by the sounds of it with his current style you essentially need to show weaknesses per se that would make him feel like he can contribute to on this journey.