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Reader Questions

Needed Confirmation!

Silly Asks:

Hello there! I have been following your blog for a while after I discovered that the guy at my workplace is a Pisces! I want to know if he likes me a lot but I am afraid of asking him as we still have to work together in case he wasn’t!! I like him a lot! ? and I think he also likes me too. ☺️ But same like what I read here, this Pisces guy also treat every other girls well! So I don’t want to appear stupid in case it’s just me that develop feelings!

I will give you some things that he does and please help me to analyse will you? On a side note, I am from Asia so I am not sure will there be a difference in culture as we are more conservative because I think you from western country?! But still, please help in anyway you could?! So here I go:

He likes to stare at me a lot! When he walk pass me he will be looking at my direction. When I also happen to be looking at him, our eye contact will hold there for a while longer before he takes them away! This happen so so many times within a day! Sometimes, I know it is him coming over, I will pretend that I am not aware then from the corner of my eyes I saw that he is looking at me. But when I turned to him, he looks cute and startled because I see him avert his gaze then accompanied by small hand gestures of rubbing his palms together or rubbing his face then walked away! ?
Whenever we are in group, he always stand in front of me whenever we all chit chat but he will never look at me but the people around me! But if he sits beside me when we are alone, he look straight into the walkway but not at me while talking! Normally when people talked seated next to each other, don’t they sit at a 45 degree angle instead of 90?! Is he really that nervous? As sometimes our face will be really close and I always look at him if his face turn to my direction and our eyes meet, he will quickly look straight again or find some excuse to walk off.

If I am sick or not well, he seems worried! He will keep asking how are you every now and then, so concern and once or twice I am closing my eyes at my desk, he called out my name and ask am I having a headache? Or if not then he will deliberately ask me questions when there are other colleagues around.

He likes to charge his phone in the office but always place his cable around in a messy way so I always coil them up and tuck it into his drawer, and ended up when he needs them, he always come after me asking where is my charger when it’s just inside his drawer! He don’t bother to find it but always relying on me! ? I find it cute as its not as if I hid it in some corners of the office.

Whenever he saw something interesting like Facebook or commotions outside he always like to share it with me. Then we will be laughing at it or commenting at it. Likewise, if something happen to him he likes to tell me about it, like a bad day from the superior, something up in the weekend like his dad birthday or the latest movies that we both liked. But when I hinted that I have nobody to watch it with me he doesn’t takes the chance though. At the same time, he also seem to be interested in my life because he asked what I do on weekends, if I get a call and I picked it up outside and he happens to see he will ask who called you but of course in a indirect way.

Sometimes when I buy coffee and tea in the morning for him and colleagues and after awhile he will come back with pastry or stuffs for us too and say to me let’s eat them together! ?
At some days when we need to work on a project, I don’t know if the room was indeed so squeezy, but he likes to brush past me. Or touching me in some ways. This is sort of embarrassing but once his bits “accidentally'”grazed against the side of my thighs and he also seemed shock because he kind of knocked into the chair in the way. I didn’t say or do anything yet to continue with my stuffs in order not to make it awkward. When I exit the room he was standing in another place of the room hiding amidst other colleagues like nothing happened.
There are many other small trival things to mention but I find my question to be very long so for now, please help me to analyse how much is his interest in me in a romantic way! If you need other information to aid in understanding more please let me know and I will add it! Thank you so so much in advance!! ?

Silly,

Yes, I am from the western area. Though I don’t think that really makes a difference honestly for what we are trying to uncover. People say love is a universal language right?

I must admit, I never heard of the term “bits” for what I think you are trying to describe. You learn something new everyday……. But based on what you wrote, it sounds like he is into you. As you kind of implied, he is really nervous it seems and doesn’t really know what to do. The example of you hinting you have no one to watch the movie with is a great example. If I was that nervous like him I wouldn’t take action either despite me “getting the hint” from you. This is where I say people like yourself have to take initiative usually. If he is really into you, which it sounds like he is, he will be enthusiastic and accept your offer.

You have to base their interest on you with things like that. Likewise, him constantly asking you how you are when you are sick is a good sign for this too. The other factor I am kind of getting based on what you wrote is that he doesn’t feel that he is enough for say yourself or the people around him. As a result, he feels he needs to do things to impress a person like you. That adds to the nervous factor because he doesn’t want to mess up.

Generally speaking, you shouldn’t have to ask him “Hey do you like me?” as I feel that could scare him off. Instead, just take initiative in setting things up with him such as watching movies together. If you think about it, this solves two problems. It spares you from the feeling that you may be embarrassing yourself where you ask him that question just for him to potentially say no and it gets rid of the risk of you scaring him away by putting too much pressure.

The activities are your best bet at the moment. Imagining if I was in his shoes with all the hints and such so far, I can picture this as a situation where first you can simply do activities as a “friend.” Again, take initiative. Don’t just say “You know, I am going to go to the movies alone today” and then hope he will say “Oh, I’ll come with you.” It has to be more firm such as “Oh, that movie is coming out tomorrow. Want to watch it together?” With that request, there is no pressure that it is a “date” and you are giving him no excuse to be afraid of it.
As time goes on, continue this with the activities and events. He should have the confidence to do the same for you eventually. If he is really into you, he should naturally start to get more comfortable in physically flirting with you too. This won’t be like “rubs” when he walks past you but rather openness in hugging you, touching your hair, sitting right next to you in a very close way, etc. At the same time, he will open up about himself more to you such as revealing trials or tribulations. If you see that, then jump at the opportunity to find out more about it.

5 Comments

  • Silly November 29, 2015

    Wow! Thank you very very much for the fast reply!!! I am feeling so happy now! ???
    For your information, bits means private area. I think it’s a informal way in British English?
    You mentioned sitting very close to me and revealing things about himself. Yup! He does it too! Except for the part about hugging. If he hugged me then it’s quite clear as people here don’t just hug anyone even between girls?? And too, I don’t get what you mean by trials and tribulations…? I fear of getting rejected so I don’t dare to ask him out. What if he turns me down in a nice way? Maybe through texting will be better but how am I supposed to start? It’s really weird ?

  • Alan November 29, 2015

    That’s what I assumed you meant by “bits” initially just based on the context of the conversation. Maybe that’s the informal way of saying it in Europe. I am in North America though and I have personally never heard it said like that………

    That’s a surprise to me that people don’t hug over there. I know “public displays of affection” aren’t very common in a lot of areas there due to traditional beliefs about relationships. From my personal experience it was always still used as a way to say good bye or excited to see you sort of deal. Either way though, the main point is that if he takes intuitive with stuff like that it’s a good sign.

    By trials and tribulations an example would be like how you mentioned his superior made him feel bad and then he tells you about it. With that information he is basically sharing with you about his life to allow you to potentially play a bigger role in it. Hence, giving you the opportunity to build the relationship. Or, if he is more comfortable with you he could tell you about some deeper challenges in his past or current life such as struggling to go to school or getting a job. This is a way to see if you relate with him and if you are compassionate per se.

    There shouldn’t really be a “rejection” as if you are asking him out on a date if you are doing it the way I am suggesting. Take out the entire pressure that this is like a “date” and treat it like you are asking a friend to hangout. A person like me wants this to be natural as opposed to it feeling like a pressured business meeting where we must make a decision about each other fast. Example, with what you wrote you were mentioning about movies and how you know for sure he was excited about it too.

    You are going to have to word this based on your own way of talking style, but here it would be as simple as something like this:

    You: Oh, that movie is coming out soon. Are you excited for it too?

    Pisces: Definitely. I am a fan of the series.

    You: Are you planning to watch it when it comes out too? I am currently looking for people to go watch it with.

    Pisces: Yes, I want to. And I’d be open to tagging along if you have room.

    You: Oh cool. I am thinking we should go for the Monday screening as it will be less busy. That sound good for you?

    Pisces: Works for me.

    You: Awesome. See you then!

    It really is that simple and this tells you a lot. If he can’t make it for some technical reason such as schedule conflict he will try and find other ways to be with you since you made the initiation. Example, it would be something like this:

    Pisces: Oh, I can’t make Monday due to work. How about Tuesday? Are you free then to watch it?

    Something like this would be the bad sign of his interest in you if he couldn’t make it:

    Pisces: I can’t make it sorry. Maybe another time. Have fun though!

    Like there, there is no attempt to salvage your request which is bad. But based on what you wrote so far I highly doubt that will be the case as he seems like he would be excited to go with you as long as you initiate the whole thing.

    Texting is fine too I feel. Again, treat it like you are talking to a friend. So what are you waiting for? Go get him. 😀

  • Silly November 29, 2015

    Thank you!!!!!! Okay, 1 more question before I try… To make sure everything is good to go.
    Our text
    Me: Hope it will rain!
    Me: Sorry! I got the wrong person.
    Pisces: Haha. Too hot?
    Me: Yeah!
    Pisces: I just met up with XYZ yesterday.
    Me: Haha! Why didn’t you ask me along! (Jokingly)
    Pisces: It was a last minute! Next time I’ll ask you!
    Based on this, what do you think????? ?
    Really sincerely deeply appreciate it!!!

  • Alan November 29, 2015

    My personal translation and interpretation based on the scenario:

    Me: Hope it will rain!
    Me: Sorry! I got the wrong person.
    Pisces: Haha. Too hot? (Failed messaging. How cute! Oh, chance to talk to her some more)
    Me: Yeah!
    Pisces: I just met up with XYZ yesterday. (Want you to know how my day was to continue the conversation a bit hopefully)
    Me: Haha! Why didn’t you ask me along! (Jokingly)
    Pisces: It was a last minute! Next time I’ll ask you! (Oh she wants to hang out with me! Still not sure how and when I should though…..Don’t want to disappoint…Just let her know it is definitely on your mind still!)

    It’s a good sign overall as at the end it kind of has that “salvaging” response where he is trying to think of a way to make it up to you. This is versus someone just saying like “It was last minute” end of sentence.

  • Silly November 29, 2015

    Oh my god! ??? Awesome!!! Thanks for the “thinking bubble”!! It’s is funny and cute. ???

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