Pisces confusion – Does he like me and what do I do

Melaniea Asks:

Hi there!

I just found this site and it is amazing. Thank you for all your help.

So here is my story… I am a libra woman and interacted with a Pisces man through instagram. He invited me out a few times but things never worked out (either I got busy or he did). Finally we met up and he drove a hour to see me in Miami. We went and got groceries to make dinner then went to the gym. We instantly felt good around each other. He would laugh and just look at me. I am very talkative so I kept the conversation going. He was one of the most genuine, sweet and attractive people I have met in a longtime.

My personality is I told him this he would just smile and look at me. He never says anything like that back to me but he was touching my back, holding the bags and making sure I was okay. We then went to the gym where we both love to workout so he took this time to show me what to do, touch me on the movements and was so sweet. I go to a very busy gym and he would take my bag and was very attentive.

This was the first actual time we hung out in person. Once we went home we both showered and ended up being intimate. It was “MIND BLOWING”. So much passion, no I don’t normally do this but it just happened. I am 37 he is 36. After this we went and got food and had great conversation. Then we went to get a drink, weheld hands which he initiated. While getting a drink he proceeded to tell me he was cheated on before. That he went through a dark period and he is just learning himself. As a libra I took that as a blow-off or a nice way of telling me not to pursue anything so I got a bit more quiet. Not mean just quiet. Of course he noticed right away and asked if I was okay. I said yes. It was late so we proceeded to leave and walk back to my place. We held hands. We stopped by and got dessert and then went back to my place.

By the time we got back to my place it was 11ish and I had to work the next morning. I also didn’t want him to feel like he had to stay over so I said I now it is late and I am getting tired so lets hang for a bit then say our goodbyes (more flirty than that). We ate our desserts and then snuggled for a bit and ended up intimate again (as amazing as the first time).

I asked that he let me know he was safe and I told him I wanted to see him again. He didn’t say anything…but stood in my doorway with a smile and said get some sleep. I felt comfortable with that. He didn’t text me that night to say he was safe so I didn’t text him because of course being me I wasn’t sure how he felt. He ended up texting me around 9 am to tell me he was home and safe. I said me too lol and said I had a great time with him.

He texts me about 1 or 2 times a day…I text back, once and awhile I will initiate and he always responds. However, whenever I say something flirty or nice he doesn’t respond. From what I read most don’t respond as they show more. He doesn’t live near me so that makes it hard. He does call me babe when he texts me. It’s in the mornings usually to say have a nice day.

My question is, how intense should I be telling him how I feel? I feel like he likes me but I also think he wants to take it slow. I don’t worry too much about texts or him needing space as I am busy a lot. However, I want him to know I like him and want to pursue us. I think he may think I am not 100% interested because of how nonchalant I can be. Also, I have a wedding coming up in 1 week. I would like to invite him but I realize it is soooooo quick. I can do it in a way where there is no pressure and if he can’t go make sure he understands I won’t be mad. Do you think I should invite him or no?

Melaniea,

From reading what you wrote I think one of the key information is the fact that he told you after being intimate that he had been cheated on before. Why I say that is key is because if the person was truly extremely say terrified of getting into something because of the hurt in a super sensitive way you would imagine that you would do that before getting intimate. Like saying if you had a bad experience in signing up for a gym, like really bad to the point of emotional distress, you would probably ask the employees all your questions and stuff thoroughly first before signing up. That would be odd to signup first and then tell them you have had a bad experience before correct?

So combine that with the fact that he seemed pretty ambitious to put in the effort to be with you I feel you are not incorrect on the notion that he wants to take it slow per se. But I am personally inclined to say based on what you wrote that it’s not because of hurt as much as it is about something else in his life. Like a common scenario could be the person has way too much going on in real life where they want the intimacy still but not the commitment.

For the response, while in my personal opinion it’s true in many ways that a person like myself as an example prefers to express things through actions if I was truly with you right now emotionally in a pure way you should always expect a reply as well even if it is flirty. If anything it would be the other way around where you get a reply but one is doing it to please you per se that should be the concern.

So if what I mentioned is accurate then I don’t think he would ever be direct with you on what is truly going on in his head. In that sense saying things like you love him won’t really accomplish what you want I feel. I would suggest instead giving him clear signs of open opportunity constantly to build the relationship with you in an “obvious” way instead of saying it. Because actions speak louder than words and in your situation right now it’s more about taking away the excuses too where if you satisfied all that and he still doesn’t pursue it then he just isn’t genuine about the whole thing.

If anything he should want to be open to you about what exactly that hurt was and you can work with that if he is genuine. In regards to if you should invite him to a wedding I think it may be a little odd in the sense that he doesn’t know anyone there but you I am assuming in such a short time. But with that said if you are telling me that inviting him there he can be just himself and all then I wouldn’t see any issues with that. Will be kind of hard though but at the same time the answer he gives you can tell a lot too which alone would make me want to say go for it. Example, is he flattered? Does he say no but offers to do something else with you in the future? Those ae the types of stuff you need to see I feel.