Pisces FWB

Jaela Asks:

I’ve been seeing my Pisces friend for about 3 yrs now and he has meso confused. When we first met we both had boyfriend/girlfriend. ( I know)But about 5 months into us he broke it off with his gf. My ex and I broke up about 10 months later.The whole time we couldn’t stay away from each other for no more then a month. I was okay with that because I have a daughter(so does he) and I was working, going to school. I was busy and wasn’t bothered. He confuses me because no matter what when I call , he answers. He gets upset if I don’t return his text and calls like he does mine. I’ve never asked him to do anything for my financially or anything along those lines. He’s asked me, I’ve assisted. Nothing serious just a 20 twice. He’s met my daughter (in a car and when I took him out) and I’ve met his (walking out of his house).

I’ve also met his sister (he asked me to) have been by his dads house (but haven’t met them), and I met 2 of his friends. He hasn’t met my family at all or friends. Sometimes he acts like my boyfriend (but we never go out on dates) he’ll be concerned about who I’m with, he doesn’t want me talking to any other men and gets jealous so easily. When I go out with my friends or mini trips he gets jealous. But there are times when I don’t hear from him or see him for 2-4 weeks. At one point he seemed like he was in love with me; always seeing me and having time for me asking me to sleep over(but at the time he had just ended his relationship and I was stillin mine and didn’t do sleepovers), then I went on a trip with one of my guy friends. He asked me if we were intimate at all, and I told him the truth!

We hooked up one time and never talked again. After that he just became the benefits part of it. One day we are making love and the next we are just hooking up and barely looking at one another and not kissing. When I started getting clingy he backed up more. So I backed up even more and just stopcalling him. But one of us will always reach out. When I tell him I’m going to back up and stop because I really care about him, he tells me to stop being so emotional and to come over. .. and of course that leads us back togood terms, for a week or two. I don’t know if he is seeing someone else because his also really into playing football, working out, and fixing cars.

I have driven past his house and seen him working on a car. however in the past when I was still in my other relationships he had a girl walk in the house in front of me while I was leaving. I don’t know he has me so confused. It’s like he doesn’t want to lose me but he doesnt want me either!?!?!

Jaela,

From what you wrote I would be inclined to say the key point for him is he seems to want to feel exclusively valued in the sense of believing one has a unique commodity of sort that others would adore I guess you can say which gives him that reassurance that you will still be there.

Another way to put it is that he just sounds like he is being “territorial” with you as in a way he sees you as a person that provides him certain needs at times. Anything that potentially threatens that where he may lose it will cause him to react to it. To me personally in that sense the situation make sense where at the same time it’s one of those “if it ain’t broken don’t fix it” mindset. If he feels he can get what he needs then no need to push forward. If he feels he needs to get whatever that thing is then he will work for it.

To make it more straight forward at this point I feel it should be more what do you want out of it and be firm.