Does pisces man enjoy playing for years?

Stanislava Asks:

Hello, Alan

I am Polish, and it is difficult for me to write in English. I hope you will not find it difficult to read me. My platonic experience with a pisces man lasted for four years.

I need your help to understand a pisces man who is very ambiguous. He is the judo teacher of my son. As soon as he has learnt that I was divorced, he has started to come near me and speak to me a few seconds. A few months later, he kissed me on the left cheek in front of another mother who was very surprised because he was used to shaking hands with the fathers and mothers. Three months later, out of the blue he kissed me on the left part of my mouth.

I was so taken aback that I remained speechless. He asked before leaving me “is it OK ? He went to the office, he looked at me and I smiled at him, he was so happy that he kissed his dog on its forehead. The following week, he was in front of the dojo, he entered the dojo. When I opened the door of the entrance, he was there and he waited for my son to enter the dojo. When I was alone with him, he told me: ‘ I saw you so I went out of the dojo’ I was so surprised that I could not move and he left. After this episode, he told me that he was sick so he could not kiss me.

The owner of the dojo is a widow and she is pisces as well. From the beginning, I have felt a strange feeling about this pisces woman as if my presence was annoying her. Once she told me : “ it is too long for you to wait, you are not going to stay at the dojo watching the judo lesson ? don’t you go shopping in town?” I am Sagittarius and I enjoy solitude. Though I am very shy and not talkative, I am used to attracting people. People come to speak to me not because they want to learn about me but to confide in me. I am a great listener I don’t like speaking.

So I did not understand why this pisces woman called Jane was not at ease with me. I am completely different from her, physically speaking. She is fifty, very small, dark haired, sexy (wearing tighttops that enhance her big breasts), sporty. She wears tight jeans and is very proud of her physical appearance and likes being noticed and speaking about herself. She immediately noticed that the judo teacher kissed me and I realised that she didn’t like it to the point of telling, in a low voice, that I was a geisha in front of the judo teacher. I behaved as if I had not heard because it was ridiculous. I am very romantic and very tall and thin. I don’t wear heavy make up. I dress in a romantic style. I wear long dresses and skirts and I have very long, curly blond hair with very light blue green eyes ( my grand mother was Polish).I started to wonder whether or not she was in love with the judo teacher.

Before the summer holidays ( june 2013), he asked me if my son would continue to practice judo. He wanted me to participate in a judo lesson open to the parents. I accepted. But meanwhile the pisces lady interfered and told me that it is reserved for the children’s parents and that my son is no longer a child ( 11 years old). So I did not participate and he was disappointed but I did not tell him the reason why because I did not want to make a fuss about it.

In September he came back as if nothing happened and in November he took Initiative with Physical Flirtation ( arm, back, on half mylips). At the end of the last judo lesson before Christmas holidays , he made a gesture asking me to join him behind a door and he stood before me, motionless, I thought he wanted to invite me but he stayed in front of me speechless and after a few seconds he left. I was at a loss. Before the summer holidays ( june 2014), he asked me if I lived alone and if I worked and how long I have been divorced . he added that he went through divorce a long time ago.

In September, My son started judo competition. During a competition, he insisted on the fact that he was hungry and that he would go to the restaurant but he added that it was a joke. I gave him a sandwich, fruit, and a lemon sweet which he appreciated . He had to leave before the end of the competition and insisted on my son to phone him. He phoned me but I did not hear the telephone ringing so he phoned the mother who came with me to have some news about my son.

We used to express ourselves through gazes and gestures and not by means of words. In January 2015, after Christmas holidays, a woman practising judo ( black belt) entered the dojo and told the pisces man and pisces woman who were sitting in the pisces woman’s office: “good evening, the lovers!”

Everybody heard and two mothers asked me whether or not it was true. From that moment on, my attitude changed, I brought a book to read during the lesson thinking that he would not disturb me and that he would understand that I heard the woman’s words. But he behaved as if nothing happened trying to make me laugh, to catch my eyes. But I ignored him totally. he waited for me to be with other people to come and kiss me on the left cheek out of the blue and once not being alone and not wanting to create problem, I stood up and show him my right cheek but he refused to kiss it showing me his left cheek but I refused and he tried again but I refused and then he seized my back and pushed me forward to kiss his left cheek.

After this episode, he tried to seduce me again but I ignore him. 3 months later, the pisces woman was not there.

When I was alone he came and asked me : “What is happening to you?” He sat on my left side and we spoke calmly.

I answered: “ my attitude has changed and it is the right attitude to have after the words pronounced by the black belt woman “good evening, the lovers”

He seemed astonished: “ what?”

I repeated : the woman told good evening, the lovers at the beginning of january”

He exclaimed: Which lovers?

I answered; You and Jane

He replied:. from the beginning I have found you beautiful but I was not single, therefore I can’t do stupid things

I asked: so Jane is your girlfriend?

He replied; I thought you knew, I should have told you.

I replied that Now I understand Jane’s attitude … geisha..

He replied that jane is a kind person

I answered; I don’t know her.

He added ; At the beginning, it was a game but I have been caught by my own game.

I added: I wish you to be happy together He should have stopped the conversation

But asked: haven’t you realised that it was a game?

I replied; I thought that you were a man who has values. I have values, I would not like someone to take from me the person I love, so I don’t act this way. I don’t take what does not belong to me so the comedy is over, YOUR comedy is over. Both of you are lucky because I am kind.

He left. When thinking about the whole story, I think he used me to make her jealous and get what he wants from her. he sometimes told me in front of her that she gave him orders and that she was too demanding or that you can not trust her. And she replied nothing.

She often insisted on the fact that “it is HER office”This pisces couple is very weird not revealing that they are living together. She said to a mother sitting next to me that they went to Australia. When the mother asked with whom she went to Australia she answered that she did not go with her daughter. she said that she moved to the countryside. When asked where she had moved she remained vague. They hide the fact that they are a couple and that they live together. After the summer holiday He came back and acted as if nothing happened, showing me his left cheek. When she saw him coming to kiss me , she called him. In January, though she was there, he arrived and interrupted my reading he called me by my surname and wished me a happy new year and I felt obliged to kiss him back, Jane could hear and see him.

I don”t understand why he behaves like this because he should be happy that I did not make a fuss and that I did not say a word about his behaviour. I am sure that he spoke to His girl friend about our conversation. She behaves in a way to make me understand that she knows but I behave normally, I have done nothing wrong. She did not want my son to participate in the judo competitions; She tried to get rid of my son by not making the judo teacher sign the judo passport of my son. He intervened and signed. She does not give me the information about the competition, I had to find them myself on internet.
What do you think about this weird experience? I don’t understand why he asked me why my behaviour had changed? He should have stayed away from me to avoid problems and above all if it was a game.

Stanislava,

My first thought is maybe you should find a new Judo studio for your child as purely from a business point of view if they are doing things to hold your son back, such as not giving information about the competition, then they aren`t giving very good service I guess you can say for the money you are paying.

Based on what you wrote, overall to me it sounds like you were a way for him to raise his confidence and status towards that lady in many ways as you implied. Example, it could be she bosses him around all the time and this is like a way to “get back” at her to show he has power too.

The part about the vague information or trying to hide that they live together would tell me that their personal life would greatly affect their professional image and so they don’t really want that known for whatever reason. For example, just for the sake of exaggeration so you get the point imagine if they lived in like a government house meant for people getting some kind of social aid. That would destroy the illusion of like a tough and successful person persona that she may be projecting to others as like a “master” of a highly successful judo school as an example. In that way it makes sense to me.

For him to continue acting as if nothing is wrong he probably feels that because you are in a sense single that you would value that kind of attention he is giving you. In some funny way it almost sounds like those two are only a couple for technical reasons such as paying the rent together or something. Something like that would actually make a lot of sense when you think about it in every way. Again though, sounds like you need a new Judo school for your son in many ways both for him and yourself.