Lol I must say this is the BEST idea for a blog ever. Much needed on my end. Geez, the last article I read brought my blood pressure down quite a bit. Love this blog.
Okay…I have an issue. I know this guy is interested in me, but I’m dying to know in what way. I’ve made the mistake of falling in love with him without knowing of any type of reciprocity. He’s a Pisces. Always in his head. I’m a Virgo struggling to have patience with my opposing sign! I need directness!
It’s weird. He is obsessed with his word. VERY ambitious, and he achieves his goals, too. He work’s from home, so he’s ALWAYS there. We don’t go out when we date. He stays home and our dates consist of him working or watching TV while he is kind of on his computer working lol
Though he does not ask me, he has openly invited me to come by anytime and possibly stay with him if I would like (the non-directness that you mentioned in one of your articles I read). He has children already and mentioned the only thing stopping him from having me is that he does not want anymore, although a couple weeks later he said he felt like he was changing his mind about what he said. May have to make an ‘exception.’
We have ‘made love’ as he insists on calling it. Twice. He expected me to stay the night as he does every time I come over, but I do not.
Here’s the part that confuses me: when we are not together, he doesn’t talk to me at all unless I initiate it first lol I am in no way used to that. I can’t tell if he actually likes me or of he sees it as more of a fling and I’m just under his charming spell. I’m the only girl he only treats me this way…i feel like I’m answering my own question, but I wanna be sure. For you, does these types of things elevate into a relationship or love? I have not told him I feel for the fear that he does not feel the same. I would at least like an idea of how he feels!
Based on what you wrote I think a key detail to look out for is whether or not he actively gets you semi involved with whatever it is that he is doing when he is on the computer or watching TV as you say. Cause right now from what you wrote I am just getting an odd visual of like him sitting in one corner and you in the other type of deal.
Granted I don’t know what type of work he is doing as that may be a factor, but when you are there does he constantly want to show you what he is doing? Does he actively want your opinions about it? That would demonstrate a lot in terms of how he values and trusts you if he has a personality like mine. If you are saying you just go there and you are like in the kitchen table snacking while he is on the living room couch drinking a soda then I would say he is just lonely and wants to fill in the void out of a habit.
Whether or not he initiates conversation when you are not together isn’t the thing to look for I feel. As I usually say, base it on things such as how fast he responds to you. I know for many woman a man surprising her with gifts or taking the time to just randomly call her to see how she is doing is like the sign of “care” or “love”. A person like myself though is more focused in giving you like our loyalty as an example which is not something you can gauge with simple words.
As an example, have you ever seen that video of the cat saving the child from the neighbour’s dog? If not, it’s this:
Imagine a personality like that cat. It may sit there and only go to you when you call it. Would you assume a puppy loves you more because it runs up to you all the time asking to play fetch whereas the cat seems so chill? However, the moment something crazy happened the cat showed its undeniable loyalty and love for the family regardless of how much bigger the threatening dog was. Think about that too the next time you are frustrated. How can a person like me show that to you? Words can’t really demonstrate it. But you can gauge it by analyzing things like response times.
Generally speaking though, for me personally if I am openly inviting you to be around me during my everyday life I must really want to be with you to learn more about you on a deeper level while allowing you to do the same. I would only do that if I seriously trusted the person. That doesn’t necessarily mean the person is in love of course. By the sounds of it though you two have already been physically intimate. Based on what you wrote so far I don’t really see a sign of him saying he truly has his heart on his sleeves for you. Instead, it sounds more like the “evaluating the situation” type of phase. That means he is trying to see if it ca go forward more in a deeper way, but he is not there yet I think. You need to analyze the details for yourself too like I mentioned above such as if he gets you involved in his work and such.