Pisces Man Trouble – No Contact
Lisa Asks:
SO around last year I got involed with a Pisces man when I moved to another city for an internship and moved in right next to him, who I knew briefly a few years before. During that time we started messing around and kept saying we needed to stop, which never happened. Before long we were sleeping over at each other’s place, cooking together, he made me breakfast in bed a few times and even took care of me when I got really sick for a while. I too gave him a lot of attention. Things were really looking good to me (I’m a Virgo woman by the way) and even though it wasn’t officially a relationship, it was the best one I’ve ever had.
We just clicked, it was easy to talk about anything, do anything. Around Christmas time we both went back for a few weeks to our home city and he was in contact with my parents, he surprised me and came to spend the night where he officially met my entire family and they all got along so well. I was happy, he was perfect. After that things just went so well until around February when he made a trip to visit a few friends in another city and he mentioned he was talking to this girl (she’s from the same city) he told me about before everything started between us, the girl rejected him and he said they weren’t in contact. The same weekend he was supposed to go he got really sick, I told him he should stay home but he still went anyways.
When he came back he was always on his phone and I tried not to be too nosy since I didn’t have official status of girlfriend either, we were just sorta living together, going out and having sex and I was never in a position like that before where I wasn’t together with someone like that so I didn’t know what to do. Not before long he started pushing me away but every now and then he would be normal. Not too long after his birthday, where I prepared a surprise party with all his friends, gave him a massage and did a full 3 course dinner for him, he told me he’s sorry he was just confused and he realized he likes me as a sister. We still did things together after, yeah I was hurt but we went ice skating, amusement parks we even went to Paris and during those times he’d still hug me a lot kiss my cheek and forehead, grab my ass and stuff.
Things didn’t stop either he was still being couple like, and I liked it. But things got really bad and he became so wrapped up in this girl. I planned a trip to the same city not too long after and I had to see them at a social gathering where he planned a date with her right next to me, and she was a bitch towards me even though she told him a different story and he told me they’re officially together. I argued with him a lot especially since he told me without me having to ask so long ago he wasn’t ready for a relationship since he just got out of a long term relationship ( 4 years) with someone.
About a week after that, I moved out. I’m back in my home city. He said he still wanted to be friends because I was his best friend and for him that’s a really short list of people and he apologized for hurting me and he hugged me for a really long time then kissed my forehead. I told him I couldn’t be friends with him for now and I would need some time to myself. I stopped talking to him for about a month now, he has messages on about 2 occassions to tell me he was reminiscing and the other time to ask how I’ve been but I kept both interactions very brief. Do I have a chance with this Pisces guy in the future? Because things were great before all that happened and I miss him so much. Will this Pisces come back?
Lisa,
Based on what you wrote it sounds like you are missing something for him to move forward with you as a couple. For whatever reason the issue is too sensitive he feels to just bring it up. The most common conventional example people say is that when two people meet they often say they need to feel that spark. Example, it can be physical attraction, the lure of a specific type of quality/trait in a person, the aggressive or sensitive nature of another, etc. So to me it feels like you are missing this one thing as everything else you wrote sounds like he is really into you.
You may say that is silly as how can one thing scare a person off like that. Think of it like taking a job for some people. There is this one company that seems perfect but the pay is bad and they know without that good salary to live on they will end up leaving. But they want a job now. However, one can then get really attached with the people they are with and then struggle to just leave. Like in that case one can get the feeling of being a jerk as it’s like they entered this job knowing that they wouldn’t stay if another opportunity came up where it could leave the company in worst shape as it depended so much on them to grow with it.
Now obviously a job and a relationship has its difference but I think the conflict is the same. Then again, some people have a different mentality for both where they would just jump into it and if it doesn’t work then so what. He doesn’t seem to have that thought process though based on what you wrote. Will you have a future with him? I feel that this comes down to if you can identify what this one thing is. It’s probably not a good idea to just ask too. A better way would be to kind of evaluate the type of people he has established like a couple’s relationship with and break it down if you find any similarities.
From then on I would say you would just need to be supportive of him to naturally show you two are the best match. Again, that comes down to knowing what that factor is first and then deciding if that is something you can naturally “change” about yourself or not or if he will naturally grow into a person who doesn’t care for that anymore.