PRIDE OR PAIN?
This is such a great help for confused people like me!!!!
First of all…..thank you very much for the time and the dedication.
So, my WIRED relationship with a pisces man, started more than ONE year ago, for me was a love at fist sight.. (he is a lot older not beautiful but so charming) …by the way…. for some time we were texting once a while, I texted him most of the times, but he was replying kindly, didn’t force anything and I gave him the time to realize that I was interested. We started dating (he is living far away from me), but the connection got stronger, he said things as “you are one of the few people that I honestly love”, and a lot of deep lovely declarations that made me feel sure about his love/affection.
I am a lion so sometimes I need somebody that take the initiative, for example I was waiting so long for the first kiss and omg he was so embarrassed while he was trying to kiss me the first time, was quite funny… I was the one to protect him, and to reassure him (probably connected with your pisces feminine way to be), but for me was ok.. what I asked him was to do NOT swim away, because while we were knowing each other sometimes he did, and I was very hurt by it, he promised this, so we were ok for some time.
Everything was going good, I understood the reason why he was not approaching me the first period, he turned out he was scared about our distance (I have moved in another country for some time) and he is the kind of person that or has everything or he doesn’t wan’t anything, this made me a bit confused.
However something happened, I found out that a common friend (more mine) was sick, and he had troubles with her, I was extremely affected by knowing this person was sick, but seemed his anger and issues with her were overwhelming this, he was very rude while we were speaking about her, and he hurt me several times, he is very sensitive so I didn’t understand this attitude… I even asked him to stop speaking about this but he said: “you are the only person I can speak with”, I wanted to leave the place but I didn’t, I was very disappointed. After this, we slept together we snuggled but I didn’t want to have sex, I told him I was very shocked by the news and his attitude.
Since then our connection DECREASED, he got cold the days after, even if he said he was busy with his job and he was getting through a bad period I felt the distance… but I stayed for some time trying to do something for him or understanding more about what was going on… he said sorry and I said I was upset, but after he was even more distant…When I tried to clarify the situation he just said nothing happened with me that he was still into me but he was having a very bad period and I should have been patient, that our situation was hard cause we were living far but was not impossible, just hard. After more than one month where I heard him just few times I decided to leave him.. he wrote on facebook something to say that I people should stay during bad periods..and texted me just one time..didn’t reply.. I am still thinking about him as you can see, but I don’t know why he started to be very distant, I got scared cause I thought he was ready to swim away….I thought was bad for him that I took the part of my friend almost against him (but she is my friend and she is very sick) during the discussion or maybe cause I didn’t have sex with him, don’t know. But could a sensitive person be so illogical? Now I don’t know what to do, almost a month has passed and we wrote each other just for the Christmas wishes and for the New Year… When a pisces let you go easily is for his pride or because he is not interested anymore or cause he is suffering? Is possible that his bad period was an excuse? I don’t think he will do another move.
Sounds like you have a real life soap opera. Generally speaking, I am assuming you understand exactly why he dislikes the person so much right? Because that should theoretically obtain so much information about the situation and his personality in general. I don’t know if that person did something truly nasty to him in life or if she knows something about him that he is afraid of getting released for example. So that is up to you to find out.
But either way, his reaction makes perfect sense though. It’s not about the sex but rather he trusts you as the safe environment to nurture him. Example, you state he said himself “You are the only person I can speak with” where you essentially shot him down when he was being vulnerable. Now if you are someone who he dearly trusts that is probably the equivalent feeling many others would get if they found out their partner slept with someone else. Not only that, they do it blatantly in-front of you.
Again, I don’t know the situation exactly, but let’s use an over the top example where that girl murdered a family of his(Yes, I know it wouldn’t make sense but it’s to show the point). He has a resentment for this person as she caused him a lifelong worth of grief and agony. It’s a sensitive memory he has where he needs others to understand and in a sense protect him from those bad experiences.
Now imagine though this girl never did anything bad to you and so in your mind you treat it like “Just because she did something bad to you doesn’t mean I should not be her friend.” So as the days go by you are so worried about her well-being yet you are neglecting how seriously bad this person makes him feel. You continuing to help her is in a sense saying you promote what she did to him. That would cause a person like me to re-evaluate if you are truly the one. To me it all makes perfect sense in that type of context. Your situation is obviously not as extreme, but the essence is the same I feel. The important thing again though is finding out exactly why he has such animosity against her.
It makes perfect sense too in that context as to why he was telling you he was in a bad period where you should be patient or posting messages that people should stay during bad periods. It’s almost like since you hurt him so bad by ignoring his feelings he is trying to hurt you back by making you feel guilty in a sense.
Whenever I let someone go easily as you put it that means they were already like standing on a floor that can only take 100 pounds and you are at like 99. Like in your case, when he was re-debating if you were the one for him you are at like a 99 due to the incident. When you decided to just leave him in his mind it’s like you added that extra pound and quickly just fell out of his life. Unless what the girl did to him was truly that bad, this was being built up for a while now I say. Example, everything such as living far away plays a role in terms of adding the weight.