Question

Dee Asks:

Hi . i have a pisces bf . we just had a baby that passed . and now he acts like a real asshole tome . i feel like he doesnt care about my feelings but still wants me to be there for him. He starts shit with me and when i say something about what he says he tells me that i blow things up. Im really confused need some advice . write me back and i can tell u more.

Dee,

Oh my goodness….that’s terrible. Sorry to hear your loss. I can only imagine the stress factor of this is playing a huge role for your question. While I would ask for more details such as what exactly happened with the passing, as I feel it is potentially super relevant to his reaction, I would imagine this is potentially more information than you wish to share. I would kind of need to know exactly what you mean with some examples of how you describe that he starts things with you.

The only real general thing I could say at the moment, as I am going off a lot of assumptions here, is that he needs to vent in a sense but doesn’t know how. The easiest example I can think of is like someone has so much built up aggression where what they need is to like hit a punching bag but there isn’t one. The other vey general example would be imagine a person is super stressed from work. They come home and they start saying negative things to you. Instead of recognizing this one attacks them back, so to speak. So it turns into like a never ending fight as both parties feel they are being wronged by each other. One is looking for support/understanding except they are “horrible“ in controlling and expressing their emotions.

Another possibility for example is because of the loss of the child he is actually indirectly challenging you to see if you truly want this relationship still after that as he has no confidence in it where he expects the person to leave. It’s like a person treating the other like a jerk as they have a mindset they are going to leave anyways.

Again, these are very general assumptions though and you would need to provide me with a little more detail for me to give you a better insight if you wish.