pisces man confusing
Reader Questions

Is this the real deal or is he stuck in his imagination

Capricornwoman Asks:


I have read some of your posts and thought you might be able to help me understand pisces men better, i know a pisces woman and we get along great, really understand each. I think me and this guy will get along but as a capricorn i like to go slow and try not to get caught up in my emotions without giving myself time to understand and get to know the person, to make sure my emotions are true.

So me and pisces met online, we talked almost daily for 4 months. He stood out from the crowd and inspired my imagination, we showed alot of interest in each other, constantly flirting and expressing our desires to meet. He was very honest, which i liked. He told me about other woman asking him out and would bring up how hes been doing things with other girls, but he still showed interest in me. Even though i liked his honesty, im a cap and we can be very cold if we think we could get hurt. So i was distant with him, we started talking less and doing our own thing. But when we talked it was always flirty and fun, sparks were flying.

I got to a stage where i was deleting people, i told him if we werent going to talk i would delete him. Straight away he was messaging me alot again, then he would disappear come back talking about what he had been up to (with girls.) The flirty messages then gone and back again, it was getting frustrating for me.

He begin to express feelings for me, saying he knows he will end up liking me and wanting to be with me. But i knew he was involved with other people so i thought it was just pisces in his fantasy land, thinking of me and what we talked about and thought up all these wonderful things. He continued to disappear but everytime he came back he’d express more feelings, saying how strong they were and he didnt know why he felt that way because we hadnt met.

Recently we got really close, he was properly opening up to me then he disappeared for 2 days. To me that showed he didnt mean his words, but i read that pisces need to recharge and can be abit flighty when they are about to commit especially if they have been hurt before, which he has. He said he had been out with mates clubbing, i didnt put much in my reply and he got upset saying he thought we was back on track. It confuses me because hes acting like we are going to get in a relationship but everytime we are getting closer he disappears, to me i find it hard to act like he hasnt gone and i show that which puts everything in an awkward position. He is abit of a ladies man and we live far away, i think he might cheat or is giving me false hope.

He says he wants to try his hardest to make us work, that he sees himself settling down with me and thinks he could fall in love with me. Tells me he is mine and im his, and he wants to make me happy.

The other day he said he has ended it with people he was seeing, he only wants me and my body, he thinks about me all the time but still disappears… i just dont want to fall for him and he realises he was stuck in his own world and im not all that.

Does he believe what he is saying? The fact he has already committed to me without meeting or any sure sign that i like him. Is he playing a game with me? Or is he in his own world?


Based on you wrote I would be inclined to say it doesn’t sound like he truly loves you per se. I can’t say for sure what the intentions are as I don’t know him. But when you say things such as you essentially in essence gave him an ultimatum where like if people don’t message you then you delete them as a motivator to message you more shows me personally that this is strategic from him.

I assume your assumption at first is you are wondering if the person has a mindset like me where I am looking for “the one” and am dead serious about it. For the perspective, if you ever gave me an ultimatum like that I would let you go because the whole notion of a person like me being so “scared” to just being upfront while diving into something is that I am afraid say the other is not authentic. Example, today you are the sweet and caring nice girl only for the next day to show your true colors where you just want to get something from me. So doing that gives me a signal to run as it makes it feel like you would be treating me like a chewing gum of some sort where you just want the flavor and then spit it out after, so to speak.

With that said it feels like he essentially in many ways turned the tables on you. I don’t think this has to do with a fantasy land way of thinking at all as opposed to a calculated attempt to get you to believe him instead with the circumstance. In many ways it seems to be working as you are in a sense still thinking there is hope per se. To me personally a fantasy land mindset would be more like he is actively doing something tangible to make it work that is ridiculous such as believing that if you two talk to each other every day then magically without doing anything else you two will live happily ever after. But if what you are telling me here is that you know he is with say other woman and then telling you the stuff that he is then I guess you can say he is trying to play you in my view.


  • Capricornwoman April 29, 2017

    Thank you for replying, i totally understand where you are coming from. It wasnt like one day i turned round and said talk to me or il delete you, when we met we was not looking for something serious we both knew that. I explained to him i wasnt going to be seeing people anymore unless it was working towards a relationship, i knew he was enjoying being single. We havent talked for awhile so i let him make the choice should i let him just do his own thing or did he still want to talk even if it was just from time to time.

    I can understand he might be turning the tables, but at first he was always hard to get to know. Never expressed feeling or talk about his self and family much, but a month ago when he said he has feelings for me he changed his behaviour towards me. He would go in to detail of how he was and what he is up too, he started to ask loads of questions. He told me he wanted me to fall for him and that he has stopped talking to any girl in a flirtly way because he sees us getting in a relationship.

    Do you not think that he does mean what he says and needs abit of proof i like him back? We talked about having casual fun before and i said if things go well maybe we could but he insisted on it being more serious numerous times, why would he need to play games?

  • Capricornwoman April 29, 2017

    Also we always had a matey flirty thing going on, he brought emotions into it. And when we recently got pretty close he said he feels like its real this time and he asks about my future plans and hints that he will be in them???

  • Alan May 3, 2017

    In asking if I think he means what he says with what you wrote then ultimately my straight forward answer is no. I personally don’t believe him with what you presented. You even mentioned it a bit yourself where we have to wonder. Why would this guy as you say be already committing to you without meeting you or having any sure signs as you say?

    As to why he would do this I feel, again base on what you wrote, is that he is turning the table to win trust and making it so that you make the move. It leaves the paths open for him to dictate the situation where you can’t in a way blame him if things go sour. I mean realistically if you think about it who does that? Example, a person you never really met saying he wants you to fall for him? It’s almost like using guilt to try and get you to move forward in my view.

    If you say he is a lady’s man in the conventional sense then I would imagine he has an image of sort to maintain. In that sense it makes perfect sense to me as to why he is doing what he does. At the same time, if you never actually met this guy then as usual I would say never fully jump into something until you can actually verify the facts.

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