Soulmate!!

Nicole Asks:

I was seeing a guy since Jan/2015! We have alot in common. In April he had to go Barbados for business, i did speak with him after the fact. I spoke to him on May 04 &May 07, he was going through some things with his Ex wife- drama. I asked him if i did something wrong, he said no! I also had tried to reach him, my daughter had committed suicide, he was very helpful and understanding. After that i became very crazy i had regressed alot with my grief. He has blocked me off. He knows that May had been a difficult month for me. Will i hear from him. Im giving him his space.

Nicole,

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter. While I don’t know exactly what you mean by he blocked you off, example online chat software or just giving no response, it seems like he simply doesn’t have the energy to be with you at the moment.

Don’t forget that everyone needs to be refueled and energize once in a while. In this case it could be he isn’t getting support for his own issues from you. I can give you a real personal example where at one time I was sacrificing my health in many ways in helping a person literally every day for months as she had a lot of emotional distress and she latched on to me. At times her issues were so big that she would talk to me in ways that I would consider emotionally abusive. But I tolerated it as I emphasized with what she was going through and wanted to help.

But imagine that scenario where I have big stuff going in my life as well only to then get emotionally drained without receiving help back. I am inclined to say that if what I said is true then it isn’t so much about “space” that is needed as oppose to recognizing if you are simply taking and not willing/capable of helping him too in ways that he needs. Because everyone needs help where like for him you mentioned he has drama with his ex-wife. Were you actively/tangibly helping him cope with his issues too for example?

Even with like fruit trees it still needs water after taking all its fruits so that it can grow back. If you are just taking the fruits and allowing nature to do the work in reinvigorating it then you can’t be surprised if one day the tree never grows fruit again. Or, you can be like the farmer that carefully takes care of the tree as well to ensure a constant fruit growth.

Of course there’s the factor of your personal loss where more than likely you need the help more at the moment. But I still feel in this situation though it’s a matter of taking too much and not giving enough back. Will you hear from him again to me feels more along the lines of will you give him the support he needs now too to make him want to be with you?