Virgo/Pisces What Went Wrong
Jack’s Asks:
So I met this Pisces at work an I was in a relationship. He waited for me to get out of it which I was ending anyways. We started seeing eachother the chemistry was there. We talked on the phone for hours. He explain if we meet two years ago we would be married by now. First I wasn’t really getting his weekends an his communication sucked from the beginning. After months pasted we got closer sharing are spiritual beliefs with one another never really being separated . We had a couple talks about commitment an he would say we are fine an we are building on it.
An that I have a relation ship to look forward. Some days I wouldn’t see him but then we would be back to are same routine. He always expressed how he loved me kissed my feet , sex was amazing and he always tries to do everything for me an being a Virgo I would try to do the same but he usually be like why you do that . An my response is simply that I love you. We also share the same exact tattoo but dos t get them together so we did get galaxy sleeves that match . We never fought our argue but I did stress the communication an letting me know what’s going on.
After a while he starting going to this tattoo shop with his brother cause it was his Bff shop an he started spending time there an them coming to see me. Which was coo but communicate pls. We are not talking now but this relationship has been going on for 7 months, recently had a miscarriage an he wanted me to go to the hospital to see if maybe if I want pregnant an he would get mad cause I didn’t want that bill. I told him no , plus you explained that you didn’t want a kid but told the people at the shop an wanted to feed me an rubb my belly.
After a couple day I felt like he was distancing himself an I told him… The next day apologize an says
“(1/6) I want to start by apologizing to you. I never meant to hurt you or cause any pain. You really are a beautiful person with a pure heart. I feel like im
(2/6) leading you on because you want more than i can give to you right now. Everything we have is real, i really do love you and ill do anything for you. But i
(3/6) hate seeing you sad and mad over something im doing or not doing. You really do deserve the best. Right now i think we should just be friends. I would un
(4/6) derstand if you didnt want to be friends though. I cant ask you to wait for me to be ready for a relationship and i dont want to keep hurting you. I
(5/6) y just need to take this time and get my life together. Ive spent alot of time thinking lately about it. I dont want to lose you though.Im sorry for all the pain I’ve cause you..”
But later on that day says I don’t want this to end. Than Tuesday I see him an we are all cuddled up he buys dinner an we watch ancient aliens. We mad out no sex but just a lot of holding. An I was trying to take my things which are all over the place an he was like leave it, than was like you could take if you want . But what if you need sandle or w.e. I do t think he knows what he want I’ve been there for him an he has for me like I just want him back I’ve texted him no reply she say it’s no one else but would he really tell me tho. Like I’m hurt cause I thought we was perfect for each other an I’m in love that’s what it really comes down to. We never missed a beat in them whole 7 months , I’ve lost my best friend
Jack’s:
I hope I am reading this all right as maybe your message got auto-corrected like crazy if you were using a mobile device. Am I correct in reading that he got you pregnant and you had a miscarriage? Or do you mean it was a miscarriage from a previous relationship where afterwards he wanted you to get pregnant?
Based on what you wrote overall though, that is the main point that jumped out to me to find out what went wrong as you say. My personal thought is that he wanted to secure you in a way where you would feel semi obligated to be with him while still being free to live the life that he wants. To me that explains things like the lack of communication when he goes to places like the tatoo shop yet he treats you like a queen in private.
Think of it like someone wanting to be associated in going to gym with a group of “tough people” to fill in that void of feeling accepted in a manly way. In order to kind of cement himself into that group, one decides to buy everyone workout shoes. In doing this, now everyone will feel like they have to wait or say save spots for him otherwise it’s like one doesn’t appreciate what you got. Basically, he set it up in a way where if people in that social group asked what they thought of the guy then they would of course say positive stuff. As you may expect, he would seem like a cool guy with no arguments and all either when he is with them.
However, like with that gym example if he is doing it more to fill in a void as opposed to genuinely wanting to be in that situation it will show. Example, constantly not fully committing to the events or keeping his life secretive to that group while still telling others how he loves going to the gym with the guys and that they are so close. Therefore, it’s like living a double life where he has to make sure he is cool with that group in the gym in order to maintain the illusion with others.
Now keep in mind this is purely speculation based on what you told me. But it makes sense to me in that way such as how you mentioned that he tells you how he doesn’t want a kid yet he makes it sound like to others that he does. So while in reality he doesn’t really want one genuinely per se, it’s almost like he would almost have one just for the sake of maintaining that illusion to others about him if that makes sense.
Now relating this back to you, I can kind of see it being the same except in an intimate relationship way to fill in avoid initially. However, it can get weird for him I bet as one tends to develop a sense of feeling and attachment for the other. But because the foundation initially wasn’t entirely genuine you get this guilt. To me, this makes perfect sense why he wanted to “just be friends” yet it seems like he still wants to be in a sense intimate with you. Either way, I think it’s because of a double life lifestyle. Hopefully that makes sense.