What can I do about this?

Amanda Asks:

Met a Pisces man 7 months ago as friends. Our friendship was pretty intense. Texting everyday all day. I was one don the first people he called when his brother died. I drove 10 hours to be there for the funeral and visitation. I met his family and hung out with all of them. When I almost died in the hospital he stayed the night with me. He was there every night and even his sister said how worried and scared he was about me. He sends me pictures of everything he does and say so he just wanted to share that with me. I was jealous of his ex whom he was still in contact with. I started doing dumb stuff. He would forgive me and say he didn’t want to lose me. When I try to explain my feelings to him he would say i’m not reading your essays. All you do is bitch and nag.

Everything I say he says i’m Attacking him. He then will say I’ll talk to you Monday and it might be Thursday morning. He always blocks me on his phone, all social media and says the friendship is over he’s done with me. He says all I do is attack him. I’m not I’m trying to just talk to him. He usually comes back but is different. He invited me to an invent when I was in town. He sat by another girl and invited me to sit by him but I didn’t. It was not very much room there. He stayed with that girl all night and once she left he was right by me. I felt so dumb because we are friends but I like him and he knows it. The next day we were going to a festival and I was leaving before he got there. We had a huge blow up fight because I got an attitude with him when I was telling him I was leaving. He has blocked me on social media and phone three times now. This past time he was going out of the country and he hurt my feelings.

I send him something and he was mean about it saying i’m Sending you your money back for it so you can’t hold it over my head. He said he’ll talk to me Monday (this was Friday morning). Monday morning first thing he starts texting me like nothing happened and he was excited he was leaving that day for his trip. I couldn’t hold my tongue I told him how’s much he hurt me. He said I attack him, I bitch and nag and he’s done. We spoke by email a couple of times and HEB was very short. I noticed he unblocked me. When he got back from his trip I messaged him through fb.

I wanted to know he was ok and everything was good. He then said we can chat but he’s done with my bullshit. From now on if I upset him he was just stop talking to me for the rest of the day. He then started sending me pictures of his trip and videos. Then suddenly he said he met a lady friend. Btw that’s not like him to talk about girls to me. If he had met a friend he would have posted a picture just like he did of his guy friends he met there.

I asked why he was telling me this and then he said he was done with me. 7 hours later he messaged me to tell me how much he dislikes me and how he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. He texted my bff and told her he met a girl. Which he doesn’t even talk to her like that so I know he was doing it to try and upset me. He blocked me again. I emailed him and was very upset. I sent long emails of course which he hates. He ignored.

Finally last night responded back to two of the emails. One he said i’m Not ready and the next he said I don’t want to argue anymore. I’m not reading your essays. I think we should stay away from each other you have upset me that much. I responded with leave me alone. The next morning I said we just need time. Maybe eventually we can figure this out.

I know he cared about me or else I wouldn’t be able to upset him this much. The fact that he responds at all I know it bothers him because if not he would block me completely and ignore me all together. Help! What can I do to make this better to get him back to being at least my friend? I am a libra.

Amanda,

It almost feels like there is so much missing detail wise as to what exactly you do to him and vice versa as it sounds pretty serious. I am just exaggerating but it’s almost like say one person attacking the other with say racial slurs or something to that extent where someone would be super sensitive to it. You did mention about doing stuff because of his ex as an example which again I don’t know the severity of it.

But generally speaking from what you wrote this sounds like it is a simply a power struggle of sort. That makes perfect sense why he keeps telling you things like how he met that girl and all in context of what you wrote as it feels like he wants to in a sense rub it in to make you feel worst. Why he does it I am not sure of course as I don’t understand the situation. I would imagine it relates with things such as how you mention you almost died at the hospital. There just seems to be so much more to this story that influences everything.

At this point with what you wrote the relationship sounds so toxic where it feels like he wants to run but can’t for whatever reason. I am inclined to say with the limited information what he needs is say someone to listen to him per se without having to listen back. I know it’s usually the opposite with a person like myself but it sounds like you are currently his only source in life for certain types of support where at the same time he doesn’t really fit with you overall.

Almost like going to a store shopping where they have exactly what you need but you just hate things like the customer service at the place. When he can’t find anything else he basically wouldn’t want that store to just close on him. What you can do to make it better is first clearly defining what it is that you offer him that no one else does and continue to do that very well. But at the same time I would try and analyze the compatibility issue here overall.