What can I do?
I am a Leo woman with a Scorpio ascendant and i had been in a long term relationship with my Aries boyfriend. i Never cheated on him but this year we were in a distance relationship and I felt like I needed some freedom and we decided to have an open relationship for some time. I met this Pisces guy through a langage app and i told him I had a boyfriend from the strait. He seemed to not care and said he liked me so much. After months of talking every single day, we met and the connexion was imidiatly there, we had intense and hot week ends (he lives in another country).
He always talked about destiny and how we are meant to be ect… and i started to fall more and more in love despite I also still loved my boyfriend. Now after 6 months of this relationship with this Pisces, he suddenly decided to reveal me that he has a girlfriend for a long time and they are going to get married ! I was like shocked atfirst but i didn’t really care cause I also had a boyfriend and it was clear that we weren’t a couple . But I just couldn’t understand why he made me believe he was single and so in love with me and talking about destiny and all. His answers were just « sorry I wanted to meet you so much I didn’t want to risk that you say no » « I didn’t want to share this with you ». I was devastated and I thought he just used me and manipulated me to sleep with me.
And I bursted at him, with my Leo temper who can’t stand lies and being taken for a fool. I said mean things to him like he was fake and a manipulator and he use people. His answer were « yeah i was selfish, so what? » « welcome to the world » « I don’t have to tell you all my stuff , this is freedom » and things like that that seemed just so rude to me. I was suffering and all he said was just rude, I felt like he didn’t even try to understand me. But after some days of reflecting, I now regret the mean words I told him, even if I am still hurt by his, I sent him a message to say how sorry I am for what I said.
He isn’t answering…I wonder if he will ever be. I am ready to let him go if that’s what he wants, and I’m not even sure if I should forgive him his rude and detached tone, but I don’t wish that what we had ends like this, we shared so many beautiful moments I don’t want to ruin the memory of it with this stupid argument. How can I make it up to him and how can I make him understand that he also hurt me? cause I feel like he won’t take any responsability at all…and that still pisses me off buti’m Ready to make the effort to understand him, help me please
I think a key point here with what you wrote is that in many ways the person you knew wasn’t real. It seems like he made it clear that he essentially lied to you with a “so what” attitude. This was basically a game of control and ego for the most part based on what you wrote.
Now you indicate the reason why you want to apologize to him for lashing out is because it is I a sense a pity to end things like this with all those beautiful moments. But again, he made it crystal clear he lied to you all this time. I am inclined to say as hard as it is those moments may be tainted as well where they were more the means to get what he wanted. I often say too if it happens way too fast something is usually wrong.
As to why he did that only he knows 100% but just based on the common patterns and actions he seems like someone who is used to deceiving people in that way to get the reward that he seeks with no lasting repercussion. For example, getting scolded by a person like you from a long distance probably means very little to him as everyone else around him will never know about it per se.
This reminds me of a perfect example of this mindset. There was a person who essentially scammed his friends to give him money. Eventually he admitted to them that he lied but ultimately he didn’t care because people like his immediate family would never know the truth or the other people in his life. He basically just used people and threw them away after(This was actually a Pisces too oddly enough). To further this point he actually was asked before why he didn’t ask say family members for money if he needs it and his answer was literally “family is different.” Translation, if he scams like say a family member that is pretty much permanent as he will always have to deal with them one way or another versus say a friend or colleague.
Like there, many people would still actually want to maintain some kind of good ending because it’d crazy to think all those good moments were fake. Unfortunately in a case like that while the emotions like say laughing in the moment may be real in context it’s not genuine. You should think about that in your case I feel instead of trying to even speak to him still. To me with what you wrote it’s clear he knows that he hurt you by that is simply the sacrifice to get what he wanted essentially. As hard as it may be you should just use it as a learning experience I feel.