Will he ever ask me to be his girlfriend?
Chloe Asks:
Hello,
I’ve been dating a Pisces man now for three months. We knew each other from college and were quite intimate with each other but we were just close friends at the time. This was four years ago.
Three months ago, after losing touch, he reached out to me and told me he had though about me over the years. We started talking more and more through texting, Facebook and video chat (he lives four hours away).
About a month in, he came to visit me. Then two weeks later he invited me to his place. We went on dates, cooked meals together and did very couple-y things together. Now we see each other every other weekend.
He had an online dating account, but after I suggested we become monogamous, he took it down. I was kind of surprised because he hadn’t even known I knew about it but he still took it down.
We have been intimate and I’m always the first person he calls if he needs to talk. We have gotten very close. But I feel as if we are moving very slow.
I’m not pushy with him and understand if he needs time, but he’s very awkward with showing affection. For instance, if we are texting I will send him a good night text with a heart. He will send me a goodnight text as well but will not put a heart – he usually only puts a smiley face. The only time he ever sent me a heart was on Valentine’s Day.
Also, when I am with him, he doesn’t outright show his emotions. He won’t hold my hand in public, won’t kiss me just for the heck of it and really shower me with affection, which as a Leo woman, this bothers me. He told me that it’s hard for him.
I know he does really like me because if I give him space and do not reach out to him, he will always make the effort.
He is always very sweet, respectful and appreciative of me, but I’m kind of getting impatient. I do not want to push him when he is not ready but at the same time I don’t want to waste my time.
He is also very career focused right now and has told me that he plans to move even further away if he gets his new job, but told me he wants to continue seeing me. He has mentioned moving closer to me and finding a job near me but has not followed through.
I have met a lot of his friends and he is introducing me to his family next month. He plans dates with me and special events even months in advance.
Does it sound like we’re headed for an actual relationship or is he just wasting my time?
Chloe,
To me it sounds like you are already in an actual relationship unless I am misinterpreting because you mentioned things like you were intimate together and he took down the dating profile when you talked about being monogamous and all. Based on what you wrote, it feels like you are simply used to requiring people to do certain things to communicate the love to you where I would say there is a high chance you are psyching yourself out, so to speak.
Take the smiley face instead of the heart as an example. I would have probably used the exact same emoticon as to me things like the hearts are more of a “feminine” thing. Take a look at all my replies here as an example where I mostly use smiley faces whenever I use emoticons yet virtually every female uses such a wide variety of them. The fact that he replied and showed an expression is the important thing I would say. Cause like for myself personally, emoticons are used more to hopefully make sure you don’t misinterpret my words as like say anger as I know people will interpret things based on the mood they are in.
The thing with holding hands in the public and kissing you for the heck of it is kind of an interesting topic. In many ways I can see myself like this guy where you should judge things like this more when you aren’t in like the open public. If he thinks like me for an example, a person like yourself wouldn’t be like a trophy or sports car where I am with you in a sense to brag and gloat about to others. I take it very “seriously” and to the heart where for me it is very “awkward” to show this kind of affection in the open public.
Example, some guys have more of a personality where they want to “manhandle” the woman where the attraction in a sense is more from the lady feeling that she is so desirable from someone with such strength and confidence. A person like me shows this through connection and understanding. Example, a person like me would rather do it in ways such as stroking your hair or being in situations where it is just two of us because I want to in a sense show that nothing else in the world matters because we have each other.
Granted this isn’t for everyone as some people prefer to have the more aggressive type as opposed to sensitive one. But to me, it sounds like you are already in or are going to a relationship direction. It seems like it is more whether or not you like and can stand people with a more gentle approach to love.