pisces man generous
Personality And Mindset

Winning The Heart of A Pisces By Showing Compassion And Assistance Without Asking

It’s very true in many ways where for a person with my personality type I would rarely directly ask for help when needed. Usually I would just toughen up and persevere through whatever trial or tribulation it may be alone. Now everyone has had different life experiences and events that has made them like this, but for many of you the question usually falls along the lines of should you or shouldn’t you take initiative in aiding the person even if they don’t ask? If we are talking about you wanting to build the relationship with them, then my answer is a definite yes. I’ll share with you a story where even for myself this kind of action almost made me want to kiss a girl on the spot. Yes, even for a super reserved person like me who is normally so cautious in allowing people into the deeper zone of my life.

I was working at an event where there was a large team of individuals. For this role you have to interact a lot with others as you answer their questions. Now for whatever reason I began to lose my voice. Maybe it was from talking too much, maybe I caught something while interacting with people….who knows. But eventually, I couldn’t really speak. My teammates began to notice this too and I even brought it up to my supervisor. For the most part I was told “Hey don’t worry about it, only like 2 hours to go.” The person didn’t offer to take me off to recover or to give me a backup helper.

It was an odd situation too as I was like the super knowledgeable guy that everyone came to ask for answers whenever people had difficult and complex questions. So even with my voice dying or being almost dead fellow workers would still come up to me, ask me the questions and then just go off without much consideration. So this was like the epitome of how I just need to get through the day alone.

There was one girl though who I was helping a lot before and she was very appreciative about it. We also seemed to have a good connection too based on the conversations we were having about life and hobbies. It felt like she was trying to get closer to me. She then overheard my talk about me losing my voice and asked if I was okay. I mentioned I wasn’t in terms of the voice but it’s not like I was in any physical pain or anything. She still had a concerned expression on her face though as she walked back to her area.

As the day went by it got so bad that I simply couldn’t even say an audible word. As people came up to me it was almost like I was a traffic control director and had to use like sign language to instruct people how to use things. At the same time, some people in the public thought I was being rude by pointing directions and not actually telling them in words. Whenever I got the feeling they felt that way I spoke with my almost dead voice and then people would be like “Whoa, okay take care of your voice and don’t talk.” Again as well, if people like my supervisor passed by he would just smile and say like “Hang in there, just like an hour to go.”

Then out of nowhere, the girl goes up to my area and starts to try and help all the people around me on top of her own load of work. It was pretty clear that she recognized the struggle I was going through and decided to take initiative to try and help me. Now I talked about how a person like me has a huge wall or guard initially to allow people into my deeper zones where for most it can take forever. In this case though, that one action essentially made me drop all of that immediately. It made me think how she was so authentically caring and compassionate to do that. At the same time, it just resonated so much with a person like me because value wise I often do the same except the situation is reversed.

As the day wrapped up for us she saw me and said in a concerned yet happy tone for me to please take care of my voice. Keep in mind I couldn’t really say anything at the moment either to express my gratitude and such. So all I could really do was smile back. At that moment I really had the urge to want to kiss her on the cheek too as a way of saying thank you and to let her know that if she ever needed anything from me I’ll be there without her needing to ask as well as I trust her in my life. However, I thought it would be a little inappropriate due to the work environment and all.

So this is kind of a funny example huh? With me not being able to literally talk, it’s kind of the perfect example I feel that showcases how much a person like me values the ability of others in being in-tune with me to recognize what I am feeling while having the compassion to take initiative on their own without me necessarily saying a word.

Because like with my example I wrote, if you think about it she was like one out of ten people or so in the bunch who could have done something but chose not to. I find that is a very common scenario. So for myself anyways it further encourages my habit of simply not asking while placing more emphasis and value to those who have the intuition and compassion to take initiative on their own to do something positive for others.


  • Ocean November 21, 2015

    Alan, this is not a funny example, it was a great illustration. I am amazed that so many things went through your head and your heart even though you didn’t mentioned it to her. I could really relate to this because I was that girl for him.
    A year ago… I could remember that day, he looked so uneasy overall and though he didn’t say I feel he is not right. So I asked and he told me he feel queasy and sick. Immediately I ask if he needs medicine I would run to the pharmacy to buy some for him. He told me he have some and took them and feel drowsy. As there are still important clients to see, I supposed he thought he will just brace through the day as he just have a few more hours to go. After lunch, I checked if he was better but he told me he vomited out all the food he had into the toilet. I was so worried and I decided to do something about it. Vomiting is one the worse feeling I could remember! I don’t know if he mentioned it to my fellow colleagues too but since they didn’t do anything, I called up each and every of his clients in the most sincere and professional way to reschedule his appointments and thankfully all of them was kind and understanding. Then I popped into his room and said please go home now. He looked like he was taken aback and wondering what’s up. I explained that I scheduled to tomorrow and at first he looked sort of annoyed as he said he was planning to be on sick leave tomorrow but then he said he will see how to it as he picked up his bag and left work. He looked at me in a sort of way that I didn’t apprehend but it wasn’t anger.I don’t remember if he did thank me though but I wasn’t expecting it anyway. After he left, I thought I will bring that client list home to be on standby as he would most likely still be unwell and best if I inform them earlier. That evening, he indeed messaged me and told me he was feeling worse and I re assure him not to worry as I will handle it but didn’t explain much and I just tell him to drink lots of fluid and rest more. The next day afternoon I checked on his condition again and happy to know he is getting better.
    Maybe what went through his mind that time was probably the same as you. Correct me if I am wrong. I was just like that girl in your situation, went through the trouble of calling each and every client apologising and offer up suggestions on the next available date when I could just ignore and stick to the original plan like my fellow colleagues to save the hassle.
    Alan, may I asked where is that thoughtful girl now in your life? For me, I was still trying to be a silent support for his growing journey, he doesn’t message me but I still do once in awhile as I mentioned to you it will hurt me badly if he were to disappear from my life.
    With the recent help I offered by creating that list for him without him asking, he was very thankful and I replied by saying hope that can help him in some ways. He was typing something in reply as his status showed but that message never came through…….

  • Alan November 22, 2015

    The stipulation of your situation is a little trickier. I can kind of imagine his shock initially being like say an athlete who is injured and is in like a championship game. He doesn’t want to be taken off the floor but will want to contribute in any way he can. So when he is taken off he is initially “annoyed” but then afterwards he realizes it was for the best and becomes appreciative.

    Think of it like in your environment if this was like a boxing match where he initially had to fight like five people on his own to win a championship and already went through two. However, you then took initiative to tell his opponents he is sick and they understood and rescheduled. This would probably shock him in an annoyed “what are you doing” type of way. However, afterwards he would be appreciative. It’s just with your scenario there are more odds it will turn out as a “I am mad at what you did but I know your heart was at the right place” sort of deal in the moment.

    With my situation it is a little different as this was like say a ten person boxing match where I am initially trusted to take on three opponents and I have teammates that handle others. While injured I stayed in the match as I know I can’t just leave as my team needs me and there is no backup. She then tags herself in for my opponents and starts trying to fight the other people I was supposed to handle on my own while still trying to handle the ones assigned to her too. I’m not sure if that makes sense in terms of the difference one would feel on the spot.

    But for you that would lead me to believe even more that him sending you the website and all was like an offer to be in his life such as being the employee. However, as you mentioned there are various technical reasons why that job wouldn’t work for you. By the sounds of it you are always going to be in his life so far too if you wish to be as I would think it is safe to say that he views you as authentic too.

    For the thoughtful girl, we unfortunately simply lost contact as that was actually like the last day of work for us together and we didn’t exchange contacts. We were basically like contractors for the event where people are there for like two weeks and then you usually never hear from each other again. But what I said is still true and all where if she ever crossed paths with me again I would help her in an instant and such.

  • Ocean November 22, 2015

    If I could stand in for him I would have done so but I am not in the position to do that as he is the superior. For that part of you will help her in an instance as an example, I believe that doesn’t makes her feel any special since if it’s anyone else you will jump in to help too. Well, to any other girls who read this, in my opinion, I think the journey to loving a Pisces is only suitable for the strong heart.

  • Alan November 22, 2015

    About feeling special, I would like to think a person like yourself in some ways feels special to a certain extent that I am trying to help you despite me also helping others here too correct? Or would you say in your mind it is a “Bleh, he doesn’t really care for me that much or my situation as I am just one of the many people he answers. I don’t feel special at all.” Which one is it for you personally and why? I am actually genuinely curious about this now.

    But like the difference between say a person like her and a random person at this point, I would find a way to be with her if it came to my attention that she was like say half way across the globe and experienced a sudden accident. I will pop up unannounced to try and help because of what she has showed me so far. For others I would probably do stuff such as donate money or offer moral support. That is a huge difference in my view. While both ways are helping, would you not think one method says a lot more about the person’s commitment to be there for the other when needed?

    Almost no different than if you were in the hospital you have some people who will actually show up and stay there all night with you versus people sending a get well card. Both are thoughtful and caring. I know for me at least one action clearly demonstrates more commitment.

    I think the topic of feeling “special” might be getting mixed up with “romantic love” too. I may be wrong of course and feel free to correct me.

  • Ocean November 23, 2015

    For the first part, I would have to say neither. I am not referring to you, this blog but Pisces men in general. I do appreciate you and I am thankful that you are helping me as you are not obliged to do so, and definitely you don’t get to have anything in return from me. But I do feel you are withholding some things that you discovered, probably? Due to the fact that he is attached, what you say or advise will indirectly lead to some negative outcomes? But then, it’s just my own perception and I may be wrong.
    And the second part, I am not referring to you of course, why would I since technically I don’t even know you.
    Let’s take 2 neutral person for an example.
    M finds F authentic as F have been supporting or caring for him all along even after they parted ways. M says thank you and F feel appreciated, end of story. After all, F was the one who volunteered, what else? And if one day F were to meet with an accident, how will M know? Will he be psychic enough to be aware of what happened to her if he did not contact her at all despite her being an authentic friend to him.
    I am more to being practical as life is not exactly a drama; where the girl got into a crash and the guy so happens to know it and rush there to visit her on her sick bed. I will say this because Pisces men never initiate to know what’s up with another person life because they find no reason to do so, or in a nicer way they are not meant to be that way. That is nothing wrong so don’t take it to heart as everyone have their own personality.
    Unless I ask him how’s life and he responded to me by asking back. He doesn’t ‘make an effort’ to find out about me on his own accord as a friend. For you, you don’t have her contact since the event was over and probably was just a thoughtful acquaintance that you will never forget. To quote an example too, will she ever know that you were extremely touched and appreciated her good act since that day you lose your voice and all you could was to smile at her?
    No offence as I need to refer to something that relates to us. Nobody will know what is going on in another person’s mind not just limited to Pisces. (Tell me how true is this: They hide what they wants but secretly hoping you can find out and surprise them yet feel suspicious as to how did they know about it.) This happens to me before. They are a mystery themselves. And which is why you are here, helping us understand more to the unspoken.
    Sorry if I drifted too far from the topic, take me as an example, he doesn’t know that I am struggling with my job, my studies and my family. Of course, if I tell him he will definitely help. But just so coincidently, I am also not the type to ask for help but to face the problem and try to solve it myself. As I experience a lot of my ‘friends’ messaging me; with the surface of asking how am I but later was disappointed to know they are trying to sell me insurance/products or they want me to get them something from my workplace at a discounted rate. And like what you said, things in life changes a person to how they will react to a certain issue.
    For the part of being special, it’s like 2 person, one bought a lottery ticket and another invested his money into stocks. If you understand what I mean.
    And I am sure to both, he will be as genuine because I know the good Pisces like yourself have kind souls. And this is exactly why I am still there for him despite banging so many walls. He was there for me when I am around him, prompting me questions when he feels? that I wasn’t ‘looking well’ and ‘guiding’ me in life. That touched me and I pay it back slowly through words and actions, even though he is physically gone I still offered my help by initiating because I care. And not thank you, and *VOOM* disappeared without a ‘bye’ and till you contact me again sort of deal. After he left, everything changes, and leads me here, asking you all these questions like am I troubling or putting him in a tough spot by creating that list for him. Sorry if I, in any ways offended you as these are all my heartfelt words as how a genuine friend should be, if he indeed treated me as one, unless he thinks I pose a threat to his current relationship then I have nothing to say and I will be gone.

  • Flower November 23, 2015

    Alan, you are perfectly making sense. And it does applies to Pisces men or all people with soft and gentle personalities. I remember my superior who was a very soft spoken and gentle person. He was so polite that he could hardly talk to anyone in harsh words even if they were bothering him in anyway. Whenever he would be checking patients in his clinic, people would be literally crowding over him so much that he could hardly breathe. When I noticed his helplessness i took the initiative of moving people away from him, taking care of most of the patients with minor problems so that only few people with genuine problems were left to him to take care of. After doing this i saw such appreciation and relief in his eyes that later whenever he used to be overcrowded by people, he used to look in my direction to help him with it. And i was always pleased to help him as i respected him a lot as my senior. Later when my training finished with him, he wrote very kind & generous words in my experience certificate as a way of appreciating my care and compassion i guess. After so many years he still remembers me whenever i meet him somewhere or so. After reading this article of yours now i can understand his feelings of appreciation for me more I guess.?

  • Alan November 23, 2015


    I apologize if it sounded like I was offended. Was just trying to use it as a way to demonstrate how you may be self-sabotaging your own happiness with a person that has my personality type where it also has a high chance of pushing us away. It can probably help others too with the same mentality. Trying not to sound like all spiritual here, but it’s like the quote of “Happiness is not getting what you want, it’s appreciating what you have.“

    It’s a personal life prerogative of course in terms of mindset and I am only specifically using the example between you and I as that is the only 100% factual scenario I have to work with in terms of knowing the exact stipulations of the interaction between you and another person. I don’t truly know every little detail about what has happened so far between you and the actual man in your life as an example. But let’s bring it back to the point of feeling special. A lot of people wouldn’t feel special but just appreciative and thankful as you say. Now you may be different, but pretend in reality I am actually like this super celebrity or figure of some sort that you have been a big fan of for whatever reason.

    You have always followed the person’s work, supported them in various ways such as spreading the positive word about them, etc. Now imagine you just sent the exact same questions you have been sending and you got pretty much the exact same replies. Do you not feel special there and would your excitement not be at a greater level to get that response? Does it matter there that one also replied to other people as well?

    Let’s be honest. Most people would feel “special” in that scenario only right? So that brings me back to how you may possibly be self-sabotaging your happiness/relationship with the person. Like for my mindset anyways, I feel just as special if an “ordinary” person helped me or if it’s like a billionaire celebrity who I am a fan of. I would say it is extremely dangerous if you are trying to build a relationship with people like myself to think how a person like me showing those kinds of actions are “meh” with the notion that I would jump in to help anyone else anyways. Would it make sense in any way for me to just shut everyone else out and simply answer you to make it “special” per se? You would probably say “Of course not. That would be crazy.” If so, then you may want to rethink what you said about helping others too.

    Let’s use your neutral example now. Generally speaking, there are some things in life we have no control over where all we can do is be as authentic and true to ourselves. With that example too though, correct me if I am wrong, it feels like you are placing a specific logistical stipulation on what the person must do per se to qualify his genuineness in your life. Like saying, I write you a poem as my way of showing care just for you to throw it back at me saying you want flowers to show I care. A little far-fetched example, but hopefully you get the point. It’ the same thing with dropping in to say hi scenario versus like showing up when you are in need.

    Here’s the facts with that neutral example in my mind. The two people met briefly and for that moment experienced a form of happiness that impacted them positively. They then for whatever reason lost contact in life. Now for me, that moment is what I take from it and nothing more as the real benefit to me wasn’t so much what she did but rather how she got me to see there are other people who care for me. Let’s say I got in an accident and she isn’t there because she simply doesn’t know as it’s not like we stayed in contact. But what does that have to do with me still as a person feeling that positivity and energy she gave me at that moment before?

    Or at the same time, why should that affect my mindset of knowing that she is one of the people who cares for me? Like there, for me to say “Well, she isn’t here” wouldn’t be fair or healthy I think considering she doesn’t even know. It would be different for those in your life that know the exact details of what has happened to you. I’m not a psychic, but at the same time don’t forget like the saying on how everyone knows each other through six degrees of separation. I always like to believe personally that you meet specific people in your life for a reason.

    For my specific example too, yes I was only able to smile back. I have no control over how she thinks as my hope is she has the intellect and intuition to put the pieces together, due to the situation of me not being able to talk. Example, factor in how I went up to help her too before without her asking when she needed help. If you think about it, I don’t know either if she was extremely touched in me doing that for her as she never said anything. But for my way of thinking anyways I would interpret it as she was based on her follow-up action. Either way, for me it doesn’t take away how I felt about her actions and what it means if we were to ever meet again and I hope for her it was to a certain extent the same. I have no control over that of course.

    With your investment or lottery ticket example too, I understand what you are saying. Again, it’s a personal life choice in terms of mindset, but to me I would view either as something special where life has given me this reward period. For me to undervalue it like say “I never earned it” is sabotaging what you have I think. If you think about it, even investments like stocks are like a lottery. Are you a psychic who could predict the market with 100% accuracy where it wasn’t in a way a gamble? I can’t change that, but what I can change is what I do with the winnings as an example. I would think of “money” as the “relationship” here. You can treat it in a way where it is a great blessing to have and you work with it to build better things for people as an example. Or, you can say how as it is nothing special since you don’t feel you earned it and so you just burn it. Again, your choice and it comes down to your mindset.

    For your specific example of hardships and him not knowing…….I wouldn’t be too fast to conclude that. Based on what you told me you have been job hopping correct? Like are you telling me with 100% certainty he has absolutely no idea where he thinks that job you were doing with him was your first job ever sort of deal? To me, knowing or guessing that detail about you would make even more sense as to why he may have potentially been passively offering you a job at his new company. Because he potentially sees right through you and is offering help. I can even attest I do that all the time where if people don’t take it then nothing I can do.

    Your example about “friends” that tried to sell you stuff and the question about one hiding what they want is the same topic I feel. It all relates to again why a person like me doesn’t ask for help while placing way more value and emphasis to those that take initiative to do something. Like you say you are not one to ask for help too. Do you honestly think it is just a freak coincident that you probably developed that part of you in similar ways I did as well?

    Believe me, I understand. So don’t think you are the only one in the world that has gone through stuff like that. That’s what I am hoping all these examples I am telling you here will challenge your way of thinking in terms of how you view if something is “special” per se because you could easily be throwing away all the deeds that a person like him gives you which may actually mean a lot to him. Sure, he may not have said bye as an example, but he sure kept you in mind to be in his life one way or another correct?

    That’s kind of why I said again with my example it’s kind of funny where I couldn’t talk as I know people usually say things like “Well, he never told me through his mouth.” Instead, base it on actions like how fast the person replies.

    Odds are maybe there is a chance that he is simply backing off a bit when it feels like you are getting too close since he is in a relationship right? To me anyways, that is perfectly understandable. I would probably be the same way too with that circumstance. Try to think of it from all perspectives too such as how the other girl would react. Imagine a stereotypical example of the other girl reading your messages and then saying to him “Who is this girl!!!!!!!!!!!?????? Are you cheating on me!!!!!??????”

    A note too, I actually have no clue what you are referring to about “But I do feel you are withholding some things that you discovered, probably?” as all the stuff I write are pretty raw and open as I think that is the only way people will learn.

  • Alan November 23, 2015


    That is a great story and makes me think how you truly “get it” in terms of understanding the actions of a person like myself. Kind of hard to believe you are the same person that asked me the question that you did initially. 😀

  • Ocean November 24, 2015

    Well, first thing is I think there is a miscommunication as I don’t mean that person is not allow to help others or not suppose to reply another in same way. My main point here is the initiation.

    The other thing is the example you quote, the part on poems and flowers. I understand that you are just exaggerating, but now reverse the whole situation. Pretend that I know you love poems and flowers. I wrote you a poem, you said thank you happily. I said welcome, how was the poem? No response. Feeling strange but it’s okay. So on another occasion, I brought you flowers, you said thank you again excitedly. Then I said hope you like roses. And you kept quiet.
    It’s not like I was expecting to hear you say Hell yeah! Love it to the max!!! But at least a yes, it’s pretty or you shouldn’t have, or just no, I didn’t like it actually, thanks anyway to hint that it’s too much for you to accept. Is it considered a high expectation on my side for a response? Instead of leaving me to analyse?

    For the third part, I am not blaming anyone or him for not being by my side when I am struggling. I can handle it myself but it will definitely be better if there was someone like him who understands. And I truly agree with you on the theory you quoted. Everything happens for a reason. And the reason why I am sort of ‘debating’ with you now whom I don’t even know on the topic of being special.

    And the fourth part, that is why I find that initiation and communication is necessary. Just like how you interpret as she is based on the follow up action. Like what I did for him in return due to gratitude. It’s the same just that I am not as intuitive as you, I couldn’t know by him keeping quiet, especially true when it is over messages. In the astrological way, I am mixed with characteristics of Virgo and Libra, the direct opposite of Pisces.

    And what I mean in the lottery and investment example, the key point is the effort. Maybe I shouldn’t use stocks as an example as its misleading. Maybe an investment savings is a better term. Whether one just toss a few bucks to purchase a ticket and pray hard to win or one put in effort to keep it growing.

    The next part, I don’t quite get what you mean by the job hopping. Of course nobody will want to bring up the ugly past upfront to make friends. And why would you say he may not had no idea it’s my first job etc? Everyone knows it’s not my first job as it was my experience that got me into my current position. And I am nowhere near the age of a sweet young thing and I’ve past the age of idolising someone.
    Nevertheless, that part of saying he is passively offering me help by giving me a job and him seeing through what I wanted, it might most certainly be true. But the way i see it, it seems to strip someone off their ego. Like a beggar on the street, although he didn’t latched on to a passerby to beg, he says he is hungry. One knows he needs money, wished to help but as a result of being passive, he dropped the money behind him on the floor instead of giving it to him directly. Whether you pick it up or not there’s nothing I can do, you see.
    Like me, offering help and he said thank you anyway, yet I still did it and gave it to him directly because I know that will be a good piece of information. Which is what I deemed sincerity, and in this case special/genuine.

    If he really indeed does things for me nowadays, in ways he think means a lot to him, not to mention the past, then I could only be labelled as being ignorant. Being someone who could not connect to him in his way. That’s a shame.

    The rest of the parts that you spend so much effort in trying to make me understand, I’ve somehow managed to grasp it a little. Like how he always reply me within minutes. As he showed me his ‘friends’ messages while we are on our way back from an event, he was mentioning one of them to me. Those messages on his mobile screen saver which means he didn’t even unlock his phone to ‘view’ it or maybe reply until an hour later probably? So I guess I should feel honoured?

    Thanks for your patience for my tone wasn’t that pleasant too. I will continue to expand my mindset, you are right, as it is also beneficial in many other areas of life, not just him. ?

  • Flower November 24, 2015

    Alan, lolzz… You are very right in wondering about presence of such compassion in myself at the same time when I already told you that i possess the quality of becoming impatient and unreasonable at times too. I will blame my parents for transferring both kind of genes in me. My father is very soft natured, kind and polite. So i get my compassion and understanding from him. Whereas on the other hand my mother is quite assertive, outspoken, straight forward and sometimes a bit impatient. So here i go, partly impatient like her????..! ?but my compassionate part wins most if the times.. Haha!!!

  • Alan November 24, 2015


    I would personally still go back to mindset if you use that poem and flower example on me where it’s probably unusual because a lot of people are not like this. But like there, try and focus on action not words. Actually, another person just sent me a question where I answered this a bit more so have a look at it as maybe it would help to explain further what I am trying to get at too. Was about a cat video.

    With your example, I did give you a response. I would say you were seeking more though which is why I brought up the part before about wanting people to do specific things. This might be very important for you actually. Let’s not forget too as the form of communication itself plays a big factor where you might be just overthinking because of it. Your example would be extremely weird if this was a face to face conversation where you asked me if I liked it and I literally just took it and walked away with no response. However, if this example was using like a social media platform such as Facebook it seems “normal” nowadays for many people. Cause even for buddy chats they would be something like this:

    Person 1: We had a hard time thinking of what to get you. Here it is!

    Person 2: It’s great! Thanks!

    Person 1: Hope you like action movies

    (End of conversation no response)

    Maybe it’s just me, but that’s how people communicate online many times due to factors such mobile devices giving people the ability to make fast replies as opposed to being thorough. Or it could even be because they think the point got across enough where they don’t want to drag the conversation to save on data rates. So I wouldn’t say it’s a high expectation, but rather factor in the communication method.

    Just to add to the point even more, take the things I write here versus if you were actually in-front of me. If I write something here and the piece resonated with you are you necessarily going to reply to each and every post with a “thank you” note? I would assume no and that is “normal” from my experience in an online environment. Switch that to if we were talking face to face and I was to do like a speech of the exact same content for you. Most likely there, you would thank me each time at the end. The method of communication plays a big difference.

    And don’t worry, I understand the investment scenario. I feel perception and mindset is still big though. Example, what if the story for the lottery ticket person was they make like the equivalent of one dollar US a day in their county where a savings account is virtually useless? But one day he took the risk of investing that one dollar in like a ticket or whatever just praying for luck as you say and he won? Like of course we can go back and forth all day with different stipulations, but hopefully my message is getting across about mindset and viewing something as special. The same goes with you mentioning that you are say pass the age of idolizing someone. Change the technicality to anything such as your parents or whoever that may be that you personally find “special”.

    For your job history it gives potential details about you. Almost no different than when people give in a resume and the human resource person sees that every job the person has held only lasted like say 2 months or less. It could mean many things such as you are simply very new, you still don’t know what you want in life and are trying to discover it, you may have a bad work ethic and got fired all the time, etc.

    I don’t know exactly the conversations you have had with him, but if he ever learned about little details like that then people like me start to find out the “why” as I said in my other post. Through this research and other consistent actions I can then make an educated guess as to what you are really like and what you are thinking. Even more reason to be “passive” with offers if you think about it.

    It’s no different then say a person before who was befriending me in a “I am successful and so big” type of way because as you say one doesn’t want to bring up the ugly past to make friends. However, adding that up as well as analyzing other factors for consistency I was able to see right through the act and offered the person help. They admitted after too about it. I am not saying you are like that, but just to demonstrate how much details one can learn from you even without you specifically saying. Virtually no different to knowing you are sad when you didn’t say a word.

    With your homeless person example, to make that equal with your situation I feel it would be that he didn’t ask you to look at his site but rather he posted a “now hiring ad” right in-front of the pole of your house where you may or may not see it. That’s not the case to my knowledge and so it wouldn’t be like he just dropped the money without the homeless person knowing.

    But if I was to relate the analogy to the homeless person, I would see it like this. The guy is on the street and sees a homeless guy suffering. The assumption is he has no job and hence no money. He then gives the homeless person a pamphlet that clearly says “now hiring, please contact this number” sort of deal. Basically, he left it open as a two way street. That homeless guy has to have the motivation to actually want to turn thing around and take that offer. Because if he is going to have to nag him to do it then it is simply not going to work in a lot of cases. Example, it could end up in a situation where if things get tough the homeless person would say “I never wanted this job anyways. You made me do it.” Who knows, but hopefully this is an example of a different perspective that I think is more likely to be the case personally.

    I don’t know as to what the context of those messages are. But generally speaking, if a person like me is showing you say “private” information like that then it is like a “please enter” sign. You don’t have to be honored by it, but the opportunity is there. What you do with it is up to you.

  • Ocean November 25, 2015

    Hi Alan, if what you said is true about seeing through people’s act, then most probably he might have seen through me. And that’s like, shucks! You mean he knew my feelings for him?! He knew what I have been doing for him in secret?! No wonder he did and said so many funny and weird things to me before!
    The video you suggested was very touching. His cat was like his guardian angel. And thank you, I could understand better with this method. But, it would only actually reveal if one day I am really in deep shit and he just so happen to be there.
    In fact, I feel terrible now, after realising all the little things that he have done for me. After I piece every little bit of information together… Everything seems to make sense again. As previously, I thought so but my good buddy told me I am overthinking, how can a guy be that kind of romantic, self sacrificing, and trust/relying on me when I am just his nobody. As a neutral party have a clearer mind, I began to doubt my own feelings and rely on factual stuffs which can be seen and heard. T^T

  • Ocean November 26, 2015

    Didn’t heard from you today, hope your day went well. Take care.

  • Alan November 27, 2015

    Sorry, life just got crazy busy for some reason. For your response, it won’t just reveal if you are in “deep shit” as you stated. You just have to factor in everything that one does to see if it can potentially add up as the person wants to be with you, so to speak.

    That’s what I hope people are walking away with such as me saying factor in if they ask you questions, how fast they respond when you are in need, etc. That can be as simple as you dropping your favorite glass cup that you are so depressed about and seeing/analyzing what he does.

    This is as opposed to things like “why is he not writing to me first” or “why is he not asking me out” sort of deal.

  • Ocean November 28, 2015

    Hi Alan, It’s perfectly fine and there’s no need to say sorry. Hope everything is under control.
    Well, I have to say that yes, indeed he placed me in his heart as a special someone. I spent some time replaying all those moment we had. It was the little things that he had gradually done for me throughout these period of time. Suprising me with small gifts and telling me to smile, fearing that I was upset every now and then and how he took great care of me and using his own self to shelter me from ‘harm’. When he was the type to stay out of trouble. Even till now, when I wasn’t physically around him, the moment I seek for him he will always make time for me. I overlook the fact that he is the unconventional guy, the unique Pisces guy whom made me fall for him when knowing it wasn’t the ‘right’ thing to do. Still I would say it’s worth to have someone like him that reside in my heart. Thank you Alan, you are awesome. Without you, I will never truly appreciate him, the way he is.

  • Alan November 29, 2015

    That is great to hear. 😀 If anything, just remember that you in a sense “earned” his trust and presence in your life with your care and compassion. You can’t be a “nobody” to do that. Just enjoy what you both have together as it’s not exactly an easy bond to develop regardless if it is say a romantic one or not. So hopefully you will smile more or I’ll be forced to bring out those Internet Memes…..

  • Ocean November 29, 2015

    Haha! I will be interested to see more of those internet memes in your future post! It lets people like me understand it better! I am sure it will be beneficial. 🙂

  • Sarah February 22, 2016

    It seemed this girl had the right set of values and won your heart as the title said, so how come you didn’t approach her (in a romantic sense) ?
    Reading your other posts I realize how rational you are, but still wouldn’t you consider this a missed opportunity?

    I had a crush on a pisces for 2 years until i gave up so excuse the frustration

  • Sarah February 22, 2016

    Oh, I also wanted to say thank you for the blog =)

  • Alan February 22, 2016

    For myself a serious relationship is more than just the romantic and feel good stuff. Real life factors play a role as well. Example, do both people have career lifestyles that would complement and work with each other? Like as an exaggeration, if you were me here and the guy insisted in living in the middle of a desert for the rest of his life whereas you want a city life would you still pursue it romantically? Keep in mind too for this particular story I had no voice and we were like temp contractors where this happened on the last day of being on the job together.

    I don’t see things like this as a “missed opportunity” because I don’t approach things with like a dating mindset like most. I feel anyways if we were naturally meant to be like here our lifestyle and all should have just meshed initially regardless of the romantic stuff. Your situation sounds a bit different as it seems like you two actually maintained some kind of contact for it to go on for two years.

  • G April 17, 2016

    Hi Alan,
    I am a Scorpion Female. I have heard that Scorp and Pisces have a great compatibility and they really understand each other very well.
    I had fallen big time for a Pisces guy 2 years back…. We understood each other pretty well…. at least he understood me very well for sure. I understood him well, but I dont know if he realized that or not.
    Anyways, for some reason (basically me panicking over his disappearance for few days) led to the demise of a budding romance.
    Now, a couple of days back, I met another Pisces man online. No, we haven’t had much of a chat. 2-3 liners each for 2-3 days, everytime me initiating.
    Last 2 days, I did not initiate the chat, as I was again beginning to get annoyed that he does not initiate at all… and even if I initiate chat, he cannot even continue conversation for long.
    It was his idea to chat. Do you think a Pisces guy ever initiates a conversation?
    And if he doesn’t, do you think it is a good idea for me to keep initiating?


  • Alan April 17, 2016

    Generally speaking, I think any guy would initiate conversation and such if he has a technical reason to do so. Like for myself, if it is work related I would. For a person like me anyways I would be a little worried if they were taking initiative in an aggressive way because it would make me wonder what they want. Especially for a person that is supposed to have say a deep and reserved personality.

    In a strange way it should be a good thing if a person like myself is not taking initiative because there are more odds that the person really wants to find the one as opposed to treating you like a hook up. Like in my above scenarios anyways taking initiative is good. Speaking for myself too you aren’t going to get the true me from words. Example, I would imagine it’s things like the loyalty and compassion you would want from a person. Therefore, if you are always one to take initiative take it offline or off the phone. It’s those moments where you two are together that should be the real evaluator to see if there is a connection. If the person flat out rejects those initiatives then I would say there is no point trying.

  • G April 18, 2016

    Hi Alan,
    Thanks for the response.
    As you rightly said, I cannot know how he is based on just chatting and vice versa; and should take conversation offline (phone call for now, as we are in different countries).
    Problem is that asking for taking it offline should come in a flow. As, we hardly chat for more than 5-6 lines (that too delayed response from both the sides), I dont understand how to suddenly pop up the idea of taking it offline.
    Should I consider that he is not interested? I am confused as he was the one who suggested chatting outside of the website (where we met).
    I see a chance at a budding romance, so I didn’t want to give up yet (again the Scorpion me doesnt believe in giving up easily). But then, I was also getting a thought of telling him right away, that there is no point of continuing conversation, as we are hardly able to chat/talk; so let’s put an end to it.


  • Alan April 19, 2016

    The thing I would ask you is what is your definition of come with the flow, so to speak, to take it offline? Speaking for myself and assuming you want answers “faster” that is a mistake I feel. Because I know with my personality it can go on forever. If you come across as content with just like text chatting with me then I will forever text chat with you. If you are content with not talking to me for weeks then I would let it be. To use the example of my story in this post, with the way I think personally there didn’t seem to be any “need” for me to take initiative in contacting her further and so I didn’t. You may take that as a sign of “disinterest” from a conventional point of view but to me it is simply going along with what life gives me in a sense.

    Another point too is that from my observations anyways a person like myself behaves very different than a typical guy. So don’t expect typical reactions and ways of doing things. To me as well, saying that you should chat online is no different than saying “add me” on a site for many people. Basically, they want to maintain a connection with you. That should be a really good sign where it means there is an opportunity to build something further.

    If I was to imagine this as you and me right now I would suggest it’s way better to just outright suggest that we should meet for an activity or something. If I outright turn that down with no follow up to make up for it as an example then I would say don’t bother in many ways. The long distance shouldn’t be a hindering factor to it. It may restrict you on the type of things you can do of course, but the essence of the test should be exactly the same.

    The only time I would personally kill it because of chat length reasons is if you are telling me your significant other has to be as passionate as you are about specific topics. So there it is more of a personal preference as opposed to the communication style. I would imagine having like a video chat hangout would be the equivalent of an offline activity invite if distance wasn’t a factor here.

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