A weird relationship!

Bon Asks:

Hello,

First of all I’m a cancer and I met this pisces in a gay bar and he’s older than me At first, we started as friends and we had good chemistry! I’m a fun person and he likes my personality and we laugh a lot ! And we hang out every week. So, day after day we got closer! And we had some weird moments in the car but we’ve never took it to the next level because he already has a boyfriend in another country! He texts me almost everyday!

And he started to share his life stories with me and some personal secrets and his problems with his boyfriend. So after 5 months, I asked him nicely on the phone “ what do you want from me”? so i can know how to deal with you because he claimed to a mutual friend that i don’t understand him and he doesn’t want to lose me. I never wanted to be attached to him but his actions made me think twice! So he didn’t Answer the question on the same day!

After two days he called back and he said i don’t want anything from you i want you as a friend and will see where we might end up! Okay i had some feelings for him but i never wanted him as a boyfriend or someone that is too close to me based on his actions! So after that i said okay we are friends! And the guy completly changed I beleive he blocked me from watching his stories on snapchat! He rarely talks to me like once a week! And he’s acting weird! I respect him and i love having him in my life but i don’t know how to deal with him. Thanks

Bon,

From what you wrote it almost feels like you are a “just incase” type of person where he doesn’t want to in a sense fully integrate you into his life and all but sees potential. However, not enough to replace whatever else it is that he feels is more valuable to him at the moment. As a result when you were more blunt and direct in terms of asking what you two were you kind of threw a wrench in the wheel that he thought would keep going.

Because of that it makes perfect sense why he blocked you or started to talk less as he doesn’t feel there is any other way to keep the wheel going without you in a sense making noise about it. Treating you like a squeaky wheel in this case it sounds like he currently has other options so he will tend to want to pay less attention to you. Like there he doesn’t want to just throw it away because he doesn’t know if the one that is currently in his life regularly will be permanently there. So instead of listening the screech he places it in like a box. Fundamentally it all make sense to me in that way based on what you wrote.