pisces man generous
Reader Questions

My Best Friend

Rosie Asks:

Hmmmm how do I start. I have a guy friend who is a Pisces.It all started when we were juniors in high school. We studied in the samechemistry class and we sat next to each other. My first impression of him was that he was a little bit rude and liked to tease me annoyingly. DEFINITELY NOT the type of sweet and romantic Pisces. He was smart and helpful though, and has a weird sense of humor (I don’t know how to explain this but you get the idea, he’s kinda geeky). At first we fought a lot like little children and he always see me as a dude, I can never imagine how I would evermeet such a disturbing guy like that. Class always end at late 7P.M so he used to invite me to the coffee shop later. Then he would talk, and I literally mean to the ends of the earth.

He shared so much about his passion to me, about chemistry, biology, scientific topics in general, his favorite famous quotes, musics, anime, books, etc… He kept sharing and I kept listening to him day after day… Until eventually he texted me to say: “I was thinking of whether to call you my new best friend”. I was really surprise because he had a wide relationship with A LOT of hot and lovely girl friends surrounding him by that time (and find him attractive too smh), so, why me??? But then he kept showing how much he would wanted us to be closer so I agreed, and we became besties since then. Things would have just end up right here just until things began to change.

He started changing the way he talks to me, not the “hey dude” kind of talk again. He started calling me “bae” and “sweetie”, sending endless “<3” emojis when we text. He’s been acting like a real gentleman and took good care of my needs. He gave my presents, a lot. He’s been such a sweetheart that everybody in school started doubting whether I was his girlfriend. Despite the rumours, I’ve never seen him explain to people the real deal about us, he just smiles and laughs joyfully anytime somebody calls us a couple (even when at that time I was dating another guy in college). He took such good care of me that made me thought that I was his baby girl.

We don’t text too much but he’s the one who makes the first moves. He always ask me what I was doing, or what I will be doingthe next day, how was my trip or my feelings sth like that, sometimes suchsilly questions that makes me feel like he does not ever want to end the convo with me, so he kept asking questions and replying sweetly to me despite of my short answers such as “okay lol” or “oh really, cool”. He sometimeseven send me little flirty texts like “I wanna be more mysterious than that so that you would find me more attractive”, “What if I’m not this mysterious anymore would you dump me?” , “I want you to look everything at the bright side, do you hear me babe?”… (his sweetness kills me I admit it). He even introduced me to his other close friends and always invite me to hang out with them.

His friend liked to tease me and him, say that he misses me and how much he would wanted to be my guy, but I never see him say anythingabout it, just a long silence. One time his friend told me that he mentions about me a lot when they chit chat, he seemed sooo excited and enjoyable about it, but still I have doubts about what his friend had to say. Sometimes when I play around with my other guy friends and sweet talk (just a normal friend thing to all of us), he doesn’t seemed to be comfortable with that and turned quite cold to me for a while, sometimes ask me questions about those dudes. My friends say he might have something for me.

And my biggest wonder is that why he would urge to touch me whenever he could (?) He usually look me in the eyes when we talk, and he would urge to put his hand on my arm, my shoulder, my back, sometimes my legs/laps, or teases me with slight hits and pokes. He had always layed his eyes on me even when he has other bussiness or priorities to do, always make time for me and my emotions. I thought that he had been sending all the signals that he could to tell that he likes me, and time after time, finally I have fallen for his loveliness.

But I still have no confidence in what I think about his feelings for me. He once said he didn’t want to get involved with any kind of emotional relationship right then because he was afraid of getting his freedom lost, or it will cause difficulties for him to balance love and his other hobbies (he’s a real Peter Pan guys), so at any cost, he would rather not date, so I don’t wanna flatter myself. Then, early this January, I could clearly seethat he was avoiding me.

Avoid seeing me, avoid sending text messages to me for a month or less. I was really confused about what had happened and what was wrong with him. I tried contacting him but he doesn’t seem to be into replying me as usual before. He spent time playing more sports, do more research, hang out with his friends more but barely can he pass by my class and say “hello”? I was so upset at first but now he’s back and he’s so… normal (?).

I mean the normal guy friend kind of way, he holds a clear distance between us now, and I have difficulties finding out what was going through his mind. Did I do something wrong to make him upset or did he just not having feelings for me anymore or what else? Did or does he like me? Help me guys please I think I’m having a crush on him now… I’ll update more if anything new happens between us for you guys.


From what you wrote I would be inclined to say it basically boils down to you are looking for words of confirmation and he is looking for confirmation based on action. I know for like myself I would most likely never say to a person “I like you” as opposed to hoping the connection will naturally happen. Example, sitting or walking together where both parties are inclined to just naturally hold each other’s hand.

It would seem that after all this “rejection” which you may be oblivious to he is simply reading into it the way he interprets things. Basically, you didn’t take initiative such as you mentioning you clearly notice he had the urge to touch you and so you kind of drew the line in the sand to do not enter.

I would say with what you wrote and assuming you want to push things forward get “flirty” as they say in a down to earth way. Example, he made you happy? Give him a hug. Notice he has that urge to put his hand on your arm but is hesitant? Grab his hand yourself and place it on your arm. If he is truly into you in that way and he thinks like me that is kind of the initiative you have to take in many ways. It’s almost like saying one is constantly swimming in-front of you so you just need to grab them. Take your time of course and do It delicately, but the bottom line is take more initiative I say.


  • Rosie February 25, 2017

    It’s so nice to hear from you and thank you for your advice 😉 And sorry for my poor writing skills. It’s true what you said about how I don’t take initiative in this relationship, due to my deep down insecurities. I have to say I have a hard time to step in any kind of romantic relationship with anybody, I prefer taking things slow because I don’t want to take risk jumping into conclusion that sombody’s having feelings for me because there is always a slight chance of misunderstanding around here. I forgot to mention btw, my Pisces has another female close friend (but not as much as we are), she’s an Aquarius and they have known each other for a while. She’s a nice girl but we didn’t get to know each other well so I don’t think she’s open to me. Pisces lend me his phone sometimes and I always see Aqua girl sending texts to him and this kinda upsets me. He always mention her only as his close friend and they don’t get along that much but I still have doubts. I can see the way how he’s being loyal, kind and gentle to her and I don’t see any difference compare to the way he treats me, but like I said I didn’t get to know Aqua and their relationship well enough so there may not be a clear answer. Pisces is a really nice guy to everyone, so I’m still afraid I was just being sensitive and started over-thinking things that just aren’t there. I’m always scared of getting my feelings hurt or to face the rejection from the ones I dear, obviously due to my concern of his other relationships I am not ready for commitment or any initiative moves. I always have a fear of him swimming away for being disapprove of me taking it to the next level. What if he just see me as a very dear friend of his and I could be wrong about everything? I tried to secretly analyse him sometimes but I think I failed anyway. May I have other confirmations about his emotions and behaviour please? I would be grateful.

  • Alan March 2, 2017

    If I was to put myself in his shoes then that is a very common scenario where people say the same thing about me. Example, I treat virtually everyone nice and caring so how do you tell the difference? A funny thing to think about is that there are odds he is thinking the exact same thing as you where he is afraid to take the next step because he doesn’t want to feel rejected or to harm the current relationship you two have.

    I would personally say just take “calculated risks” in taking initiative. As I mentioned it feels like he is trying to use actions of confirmation and you are relying on words. Speaking for myself as an example even if you were my best friend and you tried to take it to the next level where I simply was not interested for whatever reason that shouldn’t harm the relationship. I would say at worst I would probably do something like trying to actually find you a match that I felt would actually be a fit for you.

    But from what you wrote taking those baby steps should be the way to go. If he is into you he will take initiative pretty fast after.

  • Rosie March 27, 2017

    Wow Alan you were right! It was like you were reading his mind or something :p My Pisces is back and I can sense his positive feelings towards me like from what you said up there right now. He DID take much more initiative than before. It was really comfortable, pleasing and I was showered with his care. I’ve been paying high attention to him for a month now and I really saw things went perfectly for me. I felt like I was the happiest and luckiest girl on the planet. He first gave me compliments like how he loves my new hair which made me so much prettier in his eyes or how beautiful I look without or even with my glasses on. He bought me food knowing that I always have breakfast at 8 AM, offers me for a drink after his soccer games , gave me sweetly little gifts on special occasions. He started expecting me to show up to his soccer matches (I can see it in his eyes). Now this one is really adorable but also quite creepy: I spilled sauce on my sweater and it was cold that evening. I ask him for his jacket, and, from what my friend said, he “flew” from his class to mine and waited there for me, but later he had to ask a friend to deliver it to me. And later when I gave him the jacket he started sniffing it in front of me lol (later he asked if I liked to wear the jacket and if it was warm enough for me). He said he was sorry because he couldn’t lend me his jacket any sooner and he couldn’t pick me up after school the day before so he brought me breakfast as an apology, he hoped the food was good and said he’s always ready for me when I need sth to eat. What surprise me was that he took notice to what is need for me even before I do. I broke my glasses and I didn’t even have the idea of getting new ones and reacts like he did. He wanted to buy me a new pair but I refuse to let him, he kept confirming if I was sure I didn’t need his help. From what I see he began to care too much about my personal life. He always wants to know with who I was hanging out or who pick me up from school or who was my new male friend etc… with either a curious or an annoying expression. He also made heart-warming gentle physical touches like fondle with my face or play with my hands. I recall that he actually tried to hold my hand for longer than a few seconds when we were laughing a few weeks ago. He doesn’t seem to brush off anymore when I invade his personal space like before. He shows his interest in my hobbies and interest, for example he asks what are my favorite colors or snacks or what I do for free, to what I rather prefer lipsticks or perfume, and why I stay up so late at night. Then he ask me about school prom, about what I would wear or with who I would go, do I like prom or nah… I tried to ask him to go to prom with me last year and he was avoiding prom pretty obviously and showed no interest at all ! My birthday is on March, and before March he said he wanted to do “a tiny special thing” for me, a small happy surprise he would love to make it happen soooo much, in a special way he said. Through text he told me that he took all the trouble of preparing that plan of his for a reason (:P). It’s so sweet of him, it’s like he was trying to reconfirm his place in my heart again and again. I just wanted to say thank you so much Alan, because you truly were magnificent <3 Oh and Alan, I wanna ask through what I wrote do you see he's a jealous and possessive person or not? Love XOXO

  • Alan March 27, 2017

    Happy to hear things are going well. Based on what you wrote I currently don’t see that as being possessive or jealous per se. Instead it feels like he thinks he found “the one” per se and is trying to treat you like how he would like to be treated. Although I can easily see how it can come across as say obnoxious in some ways to people kind of like a kid experiencing or claiming they are “in love” for the first time ever in their life when they say find someone physically attracting or can relate to.

    So it’s like saying in his mind he sees the person that cares for him always wanting to be around him, attentive and so fourth. Therefore if you are “the one” then technically to him it would make sense that you would highly value all that and do it for him too. In my view with this scenario you wrote him asking about who you are hanging out with is simply a passive way to express how his dreams are being crushed in the sense of it’s not going in the dream type of way that he envisioned like say you are as crazy for him as he is for you I guess you can say.

    I would say possessive in this scenario is more if he insists that you say give him your phone all the time, demanding that you alert him immediately before talking with others, etc.

  • Rosie April 30, 2017

    Hello Alan, it’s been a while 🙂 Just wanna say how appreciated I am for your help. Me and my Pisces are getting ready for our university entrance examination so thing’s been busy lately. It’s only two months away from graduation and I can’t manage my time to meet him much, I’m afraid we’ll be so apart from each other after we finish high school. I can’t help thinking of him and our future together despite my amount of work keep coming up. I was thinking of whether I should tell him how I truly feel about him before school prom due to my feelings for him kept growing larger everyday, but then I remember something that I should have told you a long time ago. When I first realized that I like him, I just couldn’t stop showing my care and how much I wanted to be around him. I called him cute, tried to touch his hair and face etc… I didn’t know if that was a wrong way of initiation… But I clearly had felt that he was uncomfortable. Later he messaged me to tell that under any circumstances, he would never lay his love on his friends, ESPECIALLY ME, because he said he could feel that I liked him, and he wasn’t happy at all. He said he didn’t want a girlfriend, and didn’t want to fall in love either, and if he ever does, he will try not to let himself off for it,… I guess you can say, you’ve known him quite well from what I’ve written, yes? I also got a lot of recommendation that I should never, EVER tell a male Pisces that I love him because that will be a turn off for the guy. What do you suggest about this Alan?

  • Rosie April 30, 2017

    Ah, guess what? I just received a small package of gifts from my lovely fish friend a week ago 🙂 <3 I had to say I was very impressed and touched because I knew that he really put his heart into this package. He bought me a forever-lasting jar of roses and a pretty bracelet. It was included with his hand written letter, a very long and meaningful letter I can say. It was a birthday wishing letter but there was so much more. The truth is the letter was really romantic somehow for a friend like me, and really thoughtful of him. I once told him I had felt so lost among my family and friends because I had a sad experience, but that was months away from now. I was really surprised that he mentioned what I said to him in this letter, things which I couldn't remember telling him about at all. They are words of encouragement, of inspiration. He said he knew I was stressing about my study through my Facebook status, and he noticed my worries and sadness when I mention about my personal life. So he said that I was just "not looking things at the right way yet". He encouraged me to open my heart to others, that I should listen to beautiful musics that he suggested, except the difficulties that life has given me and try to get over them, etc… And, if I can't see things bright in life, look at the flowers and the bracelet he gave me, he said I was the beautiful rose among the flowers that tells the best story of my life. The bracelet he chose has my favorite colors and other meaningful symbols which he wanted me to notice and remember that life was never easy but that's what life's about and he would wanted me to have it as a motivation for me after I finish high school… and much more! Lastly he wished me to study well, get excepted into the school I want and live a good life… For a best friend I think that it was very romantic, very charming and thoughtful and I can't help dreaming about a love of me and him. Later he asked me if I liked the packaged and if I can understand his letter. And he proudly said that he had been thinking of it for a year to make it real now, it's like a farewell gift for all his close friends before graduation, except for me, that was included with a late birthday present lol. I know that there's more than just that, it's like there's still something more, something deeper underneath those words. What do you think Alan?

  • Alan May 3, 2017

    If that was me and you did that where you said I was cute and proceeded to touch me that would scare the living daylights out of me. Lol. I would probably say something similar too actually because that is way “too fast” and not “organic” as to how I would personally envision it working out personally. In my opinion, if a girl like in your situation said you loved me it’s not a turn off in the sense of “eww, gross” per se. In the deeper sense it would be more in my mind if I felt that I did not share with you my deep inner thoughts and all then how in the world can you truly love me? To me that means this is something else like purely a physical attraction.

    With what you wrote in the second part though that present and letter is a very good example of opening up and sharing one’s deeper self. Like there those are the moments that you should jump on right away. Because if the person is like me as an example then me expressing or giving a piece of myself per se is in many ways a hope to see that you truly value and love it. Ideally you would have returned the sentiment by maybe thanking him in a way that he would really appreciate too.

    This is just my opinion of course, but to me it sounds like he likes you way more than just a friend with what you wrote. That doesn’t mean throw yourself at him but rather it feels like he is fully open to the idea of you two being together as long as everything feels naturally right.

  • Flower May 5, 2017

    Alan, very nice analysis and im really following this cute thread of best friends love for each other, the only question that comes in my mind is ‘ What if he likes her just as a ” Friend ” ?, as he clearly mentioned to her before that he will never lay his love on his friends, and specially her? What if she keeps on hoping but he never make any effort to meet her or contact her after their school has finished?

  • Alan May 5, 2017

    Factoring everything in she did mention that he wanted to touch her as an example and all too. With everything else as well to me personally that translates to being opened to the idea of like a relationship of sort. It just has to ultimately feel right in the ways that are important to him.

    Whether or not she keeps on hoping is more about her than him in this scenario. It goes back to my saying on how one should be doing things for the person per se because they want to as opposed to having an expectation that if you do it then that will result in a specific reward.

    Kind of like saying if for whatever reason every day someone literally fell on the ground then you wanting to lend them a hand to help pick them up should just be because you want to as you care. It shouldn’t be because you have an expectation where if you keep doing that then they will reward you with something.

    Theoretically with the way I think as an example if the connection is genuine then one shouldn’t necessarily care per se if the person is in their life as the friend or the lover. If you are telling me that he will never make any effort to contact her, assuming they have established some kind of open communication line, after high school where he can stay in tune with her life then that would be a clear sign he doesn’t really care for her. That doesn’t sound like the case though to me personally based on what she wrote.

    At minimum he may never take initiative in a “hey lets go on a date” kind of thing but if the connection is genuine he should be popping up out of nowhere if he knew she was like in trouble or something. At the same time accepting invites to activities and all that make sense.

  • Flower May 5, 2017

    Yes you are absolutely right Alan, the care one feels should be genuine and without expecting anything in return. As its obvious that they are very good friends and it seems that it will not be interrupted in future too, but my understanding from her comments are that she is romantically involved with him too, that she see him as her potential soul mate and maybe future life partner too, either she wants or not she will be expecting him to return romantic feelings on same level as her’s. Which in present situation is not even clear specially after his clarification of not wanting romantic association with his any friend. But ofcourse it can be hoped that some day he will realise that he actually loves her too and he asks her out on date or something. But im just afraid for the chances of him getting attracted to all together to a very different girl someday and introducing her as his girlfriend to Rossie, wouldn’t it be really heart breaking for her? Considering all the feelings she had for him and waiting for him all this time? Just saying that don’t you think that its possible that he really just see her as a friend?

  • Alan May 5, 2017

    If what she says is accurate and we are going by the notion that this guy thinks like me then he is being romantic with her too per se if you want to call it that. That goes back to the point of the touching. Similar to this situation as I say in others it’s all about the actions and not the words.

    In my personal opinion with what she wrote his comment about never wanting to be say romantic with her is more of a knee jerk reaction with how hard she came across with the saying he is cute and then touching him. As well, being afraid of the notion that if a relationship didn’t work the friendship is over too. Because if you think about the notion off him never wanting to do anything romantic with her yet she describes him in some instances of having the urge to put his hands on her arm and all is a way stronger statement than the words.

    About her potentially getting hurt and all that is really more about a pep talk to further the mindset of just be natural and enjoy life without any expectations of what will happen. Example, if it turns out she falls for someone else in the meantime then that is just how it will be too if you think about it. As for me I am just offering a perspective on how the guy may be thinking. Because reflecting the situation if I was this guy, with what she wrote basically she is seen as a “Very good friend” right now but for whatever reason something natural didn’t spark for a relationship.

    Realistically the “dream” would be to marry the person that is like your best friend too if you think about it. Whether or not the other things in life lineup for them, such as career and lifestyle, is something I wouldn’t know of course. But from the sounds of it if it, if they all did he would be all over her based on what she wrote if those did align.

  • Flower May 6, 2017

    Ok, that does make sense. Yes if the person has personality like you, ofcourse he will see her more than a friend. There is no doubt its very difficult to understand mysterious “Pisces ” guys ! ?

  • Rosie May 7, 2017

    It’s so nice to hear that you’re interested in my story, Flower ^^ <3 We do share a great bond together, and I feel that I can't be apart from him. We somehow have a connection, wherever I go or whatever I do… my feelings and senses are always heading for him and I think that he's feeling the same way towards me. He invited me to play games with him instead of him staying home and play games alone. In reverse he also shows interests in my favorite romantic Korean film series (specifically the main characters in the movies are really similar to us lol). I did tell him that I like romance. Like what Alan said it's about the action so I took notice on what he does on social media too. I watch a short clip of an episode in the movie along the caption "A man who truly loves you will do this", it's like the male character in the movie shows his love to the girl through lots of cute and adorable Korean actions and obviously it has touched my heart, so I comment "When will I ever find a guy who will treat me like this?", and later I found him comment "<3" on my post. It's either because he has a romantic side in him that made find the movie interesting or it's because he cares about what I said. We've become close enough for me to feel the warmness of his care. But what Flower has brought up here is a concern to me also. Like what she said was so right in some specific scenarios. It reminds me of a sad experience I've had before with my ex who is also a Pisces. He is a year older than me. We used to be very good friends too, soul mates as you call, I even have a bond with him much more stronger than anyone I've ever been with. I used to believe that nothing on this earth can ever break us apart, because of my endless love for him and his trust, his strong belief in me. We've been through so many things from a very young age. Then we grew older, what will be will be. I fell in love with him hopelessly, desperately, without him I was like the fish out of water. And he loved me too. We were living in our fairy tale fantasies, a world with just the two of us and the sweet taste of romance. I trusted him with all my heart and he has been protecting me through years, I'd thought that he would never do anything to hurt me. But I was wrong, I realized that he has been using me for his own needs, using my sacrifice for him. I was like a toy for him for a point of time, because he knew I was emotionally vulnerable to him. He came to me just for sex, and when he knew he couldn't do anything to persuade me anymore, he asked me to stop talking to him and stop loving him, find myself someone who deserves me better than him. Then I knew that he was cheating on me with my friend. He was not faithful. After what happened we never speak to each other again, and I haven't seen him since then. It was really a heart-breaking experience which made me put my defenses up because I couldn't bare another lie. Then destiny brought me to my fish friend here 🙂 It scares me to think that Pisces guys aren't loyal to their girlfriends because I've seen more than enough, I've felt that I will never heal after what happened in the past. I'm not trying to put on the same par all Pisces guys, but I guess you understand 🙂 I need to know if he is in love with me then how do I keep him loyal to me? Sorry for the long post <3

  • Rosie May 7, 2017

    My fish friend has significant differences to my ex in my perspective. He’s considered as an introverted and practical person who doesn’t have many experiences nor have any interests in romantic relationships compare to my ex – a dreamy person who can’t live without love. He’s rather shy and doesn’t wear his heart on the sleeve, but is trusted and loved by most people more than my ex. If what he said is true then he’s only been in relationships with very few girls in his life and those were because he didn’t want any of them to get hurt because the girls were so much in love with him more than he was with them, so most of his love stories ended very soon. It’s like he’s never actually has strong emotions for anyone before. One of his ex-girlfriends were still so very love sick for him but he just couldn’t seem to refuse her in anyway so he took her out on a few dates sometimes. I knew that they held hands and got closed to each other sth like that but he told me he didn’t find any feelings or find a bit of emotion towards the girl. And because of his lack of experience in dating there’s not much to tell. I can’t confirm anything such as if he’s loyal to his girl or not. I don’t want to make another mistake this time.

  • Flower May 8, 2017

    Rossie, so sorry to hear about your ex. That must have been really hard on you. Because I gather from your posts that you are very sensitive and sincere individual. I feel like you give it your all in any relationship. But i assume that usually guys are not like us females specially in matter of love or emotions. You just have to understand that usually boys do not think like us. While we are 100% indulged in dreaming and thinking about someone, the guys on other hand will be equally preoccupied with other things like their career, sports, buddies, etc etc. So my point is just don’t take out meaning from every action or even words said by a guy, unless he does something concrete to prove that he means it. Here i might be sounding totally opposite to what Alan usually tells us about Pisces guys( to believe on actions even if they are subtle , rather than waiting for words of a Pisces guy). And Alan is right mostly, as he posses wast knowledge and awareness about person having personality like him. What i am referring here is about guys in general. Like I recommended to Alan a good movie “He is just not that into you ” , where a dreamer girl like us keeps wondering about every guy that she meets must be in love with her too. But in the end she suffers great disappointment and heart break when she understands that unless the guy makes it clear to you by his words or atleast action that he fancies you, don’t read too much into it.
    I believe your case must be different, as Alan mentioned that if your friend has personality like him, he definitely cares about you too as can be interpreted by his actions. Just i have few words of caution to advice you with, 1: don’t waste your life waiting ‘Forever ‘ for this Pisces to make up his mind about approaching u first or proposing you to be his girlfriend or future partner. If you find someone more eligible or worthy partner who is willing to give you happiness just move on and go ahead with him. ( i waited 8 years for my pisces to make a move, take stand for me, but he could never make it). Just remember he is not last person or boy on this earth for you. You can find millions of better guys than him for yourself.
    2: you can simply assess his feelings for you by asking him during different situations and conversations that where does he see you& him in future or if you stand somewhere in his future plans. Trust me if he says he doesn’t see you two together in future, He means it. It will definitely save you further hurt, disappointment &wastage of your precious time in future.
    3: you said he is never romantically interested in anyone till yet. Why? Is it even possible? That a guy doesn’t feel interested in having romance with opposite sex at all? If yes then it’s time for you to reassess his personality again. Is he practical type of guy interested in making a successful living or doing business only? ( that will surely be a bad news for a romantic girl like you, because such guys never make good partners or husbands). Or second possibility is, which im most sure of as u said he is dreamer guy too is that “He hasn’t found girl of his dream till yet”, this is why i showed my concern in my earlier post that if he does not think of you as his potential partner or soul mate, some day he might see that in a totally different girl and im sure he will not waste any time in proposing her and announcing her as his girlfriend.
    Now we come to the point where you expressed your concern that if he somehow is involved with you romantically, how can you keep him loyal to you?. Rosie dear you can’t keep anyone loyal to you unless he doesn’t want to be. If a man cheats you, he never really loved you and neither deserves your love. As Alan has expressed this many times that if a true Pisces man (or any true man) sees you as his soul mate, he will be loyal to you till death, unless you don’t do something to hurt him or make him regret his decision in chosing you as his partner. He will never cheat on you. So don’t worry about it. Your main concern should be right now to find a sincere man who deserves your care and love only.

  • Alan May 16, 2017

    I can actually relate with that personally as the guy that say goes on the date even though I don’t feel anything per se even though they do. Another reason why I personally say for a personality type like me you shouldn’t come on too strong as you could be making me say “yes” even though I don’t truly feel it. I think the easy way to tell though in that case, assuming you know him super well, is to see if he is actually compromising on stuff that he clearly told you he doesn’t like as an example for those girls. Like just as a hypothetical example he say hates cigarettes yet for some reason he is with this girl that smokes like a chimney. If you see stuff like that then it’s kind of safe to say in many ways he is just in that “try to please everyone else” type of scenario without realizing that he needs to think about himself too.

    The bad example would be say he is going out with all these girls and having a blast while continually taking initiative to do more. At the same time he then tells you he still sees a future with you. Like there I would say don’t hold your breath. Fundamentally too you shouldn’t need to do anything to keep him loyal to you per se. All you should really need to do is be naturally caring and curious of him to say grow together and vice versa. It is really that simple in my view. If he really sees a future with you it should be super obvious in the sense of he will constantly say interact with you in some way whenever you give like the invite to do so. As well, he should be fully open to expressing the things that he values the most to you to understand him and what he sees in the future. Yes, that includes things like say the ideal partner and all.

  • Rosie May 28, 2017

    Your responses are truly gifts to me 🙂 It’s kind of you to notice, Flower. Due to my childlike, vulnerable appearance and my shy, sensitive and caring nature I usually leave an impression on people that I’m often mistaken as a Cancer girl lol. And don’t worry I am still a strong independent young woman in need 🙂 It’s just that I love to be in love and love to be loved so I always caught in situations like this. That’s why I came to you guys 🙂 Being heart-broken is a thing to be when it comes to love and compassion so I’m already used to it now. It’s okay to face disappointment, but I don’t believe that people can’t find their true love after every stumble. I just love and care about my Pisces with everything I can, and now what I’m trying to do is to understand him better to make him feel safe be here with me and love me, so he can share everything with me without hesitation. I don’t need much of a fairy tale love story ’cause I believe in him, so a beautiful friendship or a strong-bond relationship, everything is fine as long as he loves me as much as I love him. I never want to let him down and lose him like I lose my Pisces ex so I’m trying the best I can to care for him even if it hurts. He’s just childish and doesn’t know how to express his feelings I presume. It’s hard to hang out with him lately. The main reason is he’s not showing that he wants to be around me so I’m afraid of bothering him. But on the other hand, my other close friend – a Leo guy – who is also a friend of Pisces, disapprove of me being around him. The three of us used to be very good friends but lately there’s been a conflict between them somehow that I don’t know, that now Leo has a bad antipathy towards him, so I’m usually alone or be with my girlfriends, I don’t want to upset any of them. This is really awkward I guess you can say. But here’s the real thing I want to tell.

  • Rosie May 28, 2017

    I really don’t know how to say things are going lately. Me and Pisces are still busy as usual. I’m beginning to feel worry, because I’m not sensing this could go anywhere. Like saying I don’t think he’s worth the wait anymore it made me begin to feel tired in this relationship somehow, because he’s too passive in making a move with me. If I’m in the same room with him then I’d have to walk up to him to say hi or else he would act like I’m not there. Even in texting, we barely have a decent conversation now so I can’t get the chance to understand him more, his texting style now is like he’s always too busy but still has time to text me a few words to make me feel safe. We used to text a lot, but I’d like to think that he’s just busy. He still teases me when we get to text each other long enough or when we bump into each other in school. It’s like for a moment there he’s interested, he cares, he’s comfortable with me and then later he’s not, he just disappears. This keeps going on and on for days now and I’m confused, I don’t know what to do next or where do I go from here now. I want to text him and call him but I don’t know what to say. And I’m very much worry that I’m disturbing him when he’s focusing on his study somehow. I want to tell him that I miss him for days now but I’m not courage enough to say so… I really want to know is it okay if I tell him that I miss him? Will he distance away from me or will he be happy because I care about him?

  • Rosie May 28, 2017

    A few weeks ago we were on our way home after school on his motorcycle. I mean even though he has taken me home a lot of times before but I’ve never hugged him on his bike. But the traffic was quite terrifying and it scared me a lot that time so I grabbed his waist, he asked me “What’s wrong?.. Are you afraid?”. A car slammed the brakes on so we nearly ran into it, that scared the hell out of me so I unconsciously hugged him tight. It went on like that for a little while… He didn’t say anything, he didn’t even budge. So I thought he didn’t mind later I lean my head on his back the whole way and he just gently asked me “What’s wrong? Are you tired?” and I said “Nothing, I’m just feeling a little bit down” because actually I was worrying if he was going to prom with anyone. He tried to ask more but I said “If I ask you to go to prom with me, do you agree?” then he was kinda surprise. He said many things but I guess the answer is “I’m not sure”. Before he dropped me home he said something more but I was too upset to notice. Later on I tried to get up the nerve to ask him to go to prom with me, and I was hurt when he said he can’t. I asked him why and he said he was sorry, “You wouldn’t want to go to prom with someone like me…” and etc, it was about he was unsure about himself and unsure if he’s able to make me happy on that day. I knew I couldn’t persuade him anymore so I decided to give away the ticket. But later another boy in school asked me to go to prom with him, I didn’t want to of course. I text and asked my friend for his opinion, I told him another guy was asking me to prom and all he did was reply “Congrats =)” and didn’t say anything else. This really upsets me because I thought he didn’t care about me anymore. I actually thought that he didn’t want to have a date with me and that was simply a nice way to refuse me. We didn’t see each other for a while, then I found a Japanese gift store that sales pretty charms that represents luck and happiness, so I bought two that would match our hobby, one for me and one for him (they are couple charms for a boy and a girl) like saying I’m appreciated for everything you’ve done for me I guess you can say. He seems normal to me then but later he texted me to say thank you, he liked it. He still doesn’t show much affection. However, I saw him in school one day, I wanted to surprise him so I gently wrapped my arms around his waist and tickled him from behind for long time no see hello, like say playing around between close friends, he startled hard at first but when he saw me he smiled and ask where I was going, and I think he was happy because I can saw it in his eyes. Then later I caught him talking to me with his face frowning when things were completely normal. It feels like he’s comfortable with me at some point of time and then he’s not. I just want that I care about him but still want to make sure he’s comfortable and doesn’t swim away from me. Maybe because I worry and then ask too much… 🙁

  • Flower May 30, 2017

    Hello Rossie,
    Nice to hear from you again. I followed your story because I really liked your cute and sincere feelings for your pisces friend. I gather from your posts that there is lot happening in your life right now. The first thought that came in my mind after reading your comments was that ‘ OMG, only Alan can help to interpret everything you wrote here’. It is because only he has better knowledge than the rest of us to understand all actions and intentions behind acts of a person having personality like him or of pisces guys in general. So we will ask Alan to put light on everything you wrote here and guide you how to react further in your case.
    There are just few things that I noticed, and I feel it’s important to point them out here. You said there is some awkward situation going on between you three friends, where a Leo friend of yours doesn’t like you to hang out with your pisces friend more. So you are trying to stay impartial and not meeting with pisces guy more because of it. I think as pisces guys are very sensitive, so it must have really disappointed him for you to not take his side completely and show your complete loyalty towards him. This might be the reason that you find him distant and difficult to communicate with recently. In my observation a Pisces person needs complete trust and loyalty from you to help him take his guards off with you. There is no half way with a Pisces. Either you are completely on his side or you lose him. So you better make your mind on whose side are you.
    It’s really sad to hear him refusing to go with you on your prom. It might prove my point that I mentioned in my last comments that he doesn’t see you as his romantic partner, or he might be feeling that you deserve someone better than him, to take more care of you, as he thinks that you are too nice of a person or more sensitive. Still we will need opinion of Alan here to put more light on his rejection behaviour.
    Rossie i can totally relate with you about your exhaustion you feeling for loving him one sidedly and not getting exact response from him. . Just like Alan mentioned in his many posts that its up to you if you want to wait for him to take initiative in proposing you commitment or life time deal, or you just want to move on.. because in my experience Pisces guy take ages to analyse someone and to find a person perfectly matching his ideal personality. (Although my sixth sense keeps telling me that he is still searching for his ideal match).
    On other hand i have some advice for you. Why don’t you find out more about his activities, and hobbies and try to participate in it to show him you want to be close to him. This will help you in further understanding his response and attitude towards you. Show him that you are interested in his activities and his likes and dislikes.

  • Rosie June 1, 2017

    Thank you Flower. Actually I’m very happy when someone calls us cute together or so. My friend saw me talking and texting to him and he called us cute, the way we communicate is cute, people keep mistaking us as an adorable new couple even though I keep telling them that we’re just friends (at least for now lol). I’ve just met him yesterday and I realized he was just shy (or he’s trying to give me an impression of him being so quite, that could be true). He promised to give me a ride home, at first he was surprise when I said I wanna be with him for a while because he said normally I would just simply ask him for a lift. He won’t even say a word with me when we were together, not until I’m safe on his bike seat. He still asks me random things about my daily study. And… I found out that he has mistaken me for having a crush on the guy who asked me to prom the last day. I don’t want to hurt him but I can’t seem to explain to him. We’re always running out of things to say and I just end up looking away or looking for something else to do instead of giving energy to our conversation (I’m shy to stare at him or look him in the eyes). About his hobbies and his interest, I find it easy to recognize that he is into soccer (like I said before I always show up in his games to show my support), he loves cats (so do I), loves board games and we usually end up playing board games in our dates,… and so far he’s been showing his interest in romance, that we all know that I crave romance too. However I’ve been desperately looking for a way to have a deeper connection with him, because we are both too shy and too inactive to show our care to one another. Also because he is a Pisces – Aquarius cusp that he is rather “different” and distant. I thought we used to have endless conversations with so much energy but I kept wondering what was I wrong that things get awkward every time when I’m with him. I tried to show him I want to initiate the conversation and find the chemistry in there so I can indicate our bond together but it didn’t work out well 🙁 Now this is the difference to point out. In contrast, me and my Leo friend are always attached to each other when it comes to sharing everything and spending time together, there’s always so much chemistry and the energy that we both feel very well, we’re comfortable with each other. I used to feel that way towards my Pisces, then I wondered what went wrong. I’m still looking for ways to let him know that he’s special to me, that he’s not just somebody who’s blurry in the crowd, that I’ll always have my eyes on him, I’ll always recognize what’s wrong. He’s not as invisible as he thinks, at least not with me.
    Still too shy to let him know tho… I hope our relationship won’t end up going nowhere lol 🙂

  • Alan June 3, 2017

    I would say you kind of uncovered your own answer of the guy with your example of your friend disapproving him to be around you. I don’t know the exact story of course, but just as a hypothetical example if it was me in that situation where your friend was being say “disapproving” of the situation and I know it then it’s kind of important for me to see action on your part or I stay away from the conflict. Because to me this shows care too based on the action.

    Example, let’s say your friend acts aggressive towards me here because he dislikes me for whatever reason. If I see you standing there and not doing anything then to me that means stay away. That doesn’t mean stop being friends with that guy to be with him of course. But the actions can mean way more than the words which goes back to what I mentioned before. To me anyways that makes perfect sense of the passiveness and all.

    The fact that he is replying means the connection is still there which is a good thing. As I say it doesn’t matter so much with how much one writes as opposed to how fast they reply in that instance. If I were you I wouldn’t say you miss him. Invite him to something instead that you know the both of you would love and see what happens. Thinking for myself if what I am interpreting is accurate, with the other friend tension and all too, you saying you miss me would still leave me in that weird don’t know what to do passive mode while just being your friend.

    Your bike incident would make sense with that too where emotionally relationship wise he pretty much is just flipping that switch off because it seems like he is unsure as to what you want in a sense. I know that sounds weird where I say don’t just say it too huh? But the actions is what is needed as to me there sounds like there is a clear barrier to your relationship with him. That can easily be the other friend or whatever. I don’t know all the specifics of course.

    I would actually probably say the same thing in a sense of the “congrats” with the prom date. About him saying he is unsure if he can make you happy is the key phrase there I feel. Again, there is some kind of barrier in your lives. Just as stereotypical example it could be everyone you hang around with are “powerful” or “popular” that makes him very insecure. Or at the same time he is actually struggling with something in life that he is too embarrassed to say or ask help with. So if anything I think your focus should be on whatever that is as opposed to focusing on getting him to make the next move if that make sense. Solve that and you will indirectly solve everything else.

  • Rosie June 4, 2017

    Hello Alan,
    Now that you’ve said it I’ve recognize that this could have been my fault for I’ve been doing it wrong. I guess you can tell that I’m struggling to find a way to break the ice between us but time won’t allow us to let things be anymore due to the graduation exam is coming. He and I won’t be going on the same path after high school of course, that can be a problem if we want to spend more time for each other (he’s after science and I’m heading for law). To be honest I am completely hopeless on the idea of “getting him to make the first move” I must say. The barrier between us must have been put up by me, and it happened to push him further away from me. He still shows affection for me when I check up on him but you were right, even I can feel his hesitation and insecurity. But to be more precise, about us and our relationship, I won’t say that people around me are the main factors, especially my Leo friend, but it’s more about me. I know my Pisces well enough to say that he has no difficulties in making friends, that’s why we have so much common friends who support us. I may have a wide relationship if you like to call it that, I can be friends with many types of people but people I like and get along with are people whose character is very similar to me and him, so I always invite people who I think can get along with both of us to hang out with us, we end up having great times together. And as far as I’m concerned, I don’t know how to put this in words… But my Leo friend had confessed he has emotional issues that he can’t handle and that has to do with me. He’s having an emotional breakdown and he needs me around, so that explains why he doesn’t want to share me with anyone else. You can say that he’s jealous with our relationship somehow, ironic huh? I know it sounds like I’m a bad person in this scenario, but I can asure you that they’re mature enough to understand this situation so it won’t be a big problem between us. My Pisces knows very well that I just only see Leo as a very dear friend of mine that I can’t live without and that he doesn’t need to be aware of him. I guess the only problem here is me.. Again I am absolutely hopeless in fixing this up. Eventually I will have to confess my feelings for him or else I will have to wait like forever for him to open up about the idea of us being together, things might change and turned out to be too late then..

  • Alan June 5, 2017

    If I am interpreting this correctly are you saying that other guy in a sense likes you in a way where you don’t feel the same? As a result you are kind of consoling him over it? If that is the barrier as an example then it really does come down to wanting to see actions and not words I feel. Again, that is assuming I am understanding this correctly.

    This is just my opinion of course, but since it comes down to the actions I don’t personally see how going different ways career wise or graduating should be an obstacle per se as opposed to the above in terms of growing the relationship. Just as an example people would often say a relationship takes work. Not to say you should drop the other person. Not at all. But imagine if you were in an actual relationship with the Pisces guy right now. He needs your attention and yet the other guy is yelling for the same. So what are you going to do? Constantly juggle between the two as an example? To me personally that is kind of risky.

    Again, if I am interpreting it correctly with your situation with that Leo person then to me in many ways you are kind of saying you can’t really handle the two of these guys, so to speak, in your life the way you currently are to achieve the desired results you want. Like for the Leo guy to me personally it would sound wiser to actually find some help for him too. If what he is doing is in a sense stopping you from doing the things you need to be happy in life too then it’s not really fair.

  • Flower June 6, 2017

    Im 100% agreed with Alan here. That you have stucked yourself in unnecessary emotional mess somehow. One thing more i feel that is important to point out here, I think you have not sorted out your feelings completely about your Leo friend till now. Could it be possible that the personality characteristics that your Leo friend possess are what part of your heart desires too? Maybe without registering it to yourself, your heart desires or seek personality traits of your Leo friend too. It maybe his aggressive or bold behaviour, the ability to express himself openly, showing affection in obvious way, and so on..( Leo are known for being blatant, very bold , jealous even , a bit of show off, and taking whatever they like or see). You can say they are totally opposite to gentle and subtle personality of a Pisces man. So i feel it’s time that you sort your feelings about this Leo guy here, that what does you so much like or dislike about him, that why you can’t leave his side to give yourself completely to your Pisces guy. Yes Rossie you were right in saying that its all about you here, but you are not a bad person, you are actually confused between two people whom your heart desires at same time. Im saying this because I have experienced it myself several times, while my heart wanted Pisces guy, my mind always went for more aggressive or expressive people like Leo or scorpio. Because they seemed to fill that empty space which pisces guy tends to leave while making us wait for their response or actions. But.. in the end we always find our heart longing for our gentle Pisces guys. No one can replace them or cover for them.
    So its high time that you chose wisely on whose side you want to be. As Alan pointed it out that its risky to be on both side, as you will surely lose one completely. My advice here will be to search your heart again, if you find your genuine feelings for your pisces guy, than chose him and give him your all. Be on his side always. As Alan said that different careers doesn’t matter. If your heart is true for each other than you will always find each other, no matter how busy you people are. The ‘Key’ is just to be Patient with your pisces guy. Don’t force him to do something or to make him rush , just make your self busy in your routine work and life, while waiting for him to come around to you himself . To achieve great things in your life, one has to wait.

  • Rosie June 22, 2017

    Hi Alan and Flower. How are you?
    I’m sorry it’s been a while since I post anything. We’ve just finish our university entrance examination. Just hoping for the best 🙂 (I’m writing this post in quite a rush so don’t laugh at me for my bad English, it’s a second language anyway teehee).
    So, things happened and it’s been disturbing me for quite a while. I’m going through my difficult time and I need him around just to make me feel safe, secured and motivated, a hug from him would be all I need right now but that just couldn’t happen because what Flower and I have been worrying about is coming true. Notice that I am a very sensitive person so his actions hurt me a lot. Do you remember the Aquarius girl – one of his close friend? Well during the time our relationship began to crack, he’s been avoiding me again. He didn’t show up at our school graduation ceremony nor the end-of-year party, he just hate crowded places I can understand but I miss him, I’m just trying to find a way to be with him. The last day we meet I gave him a hug, a very long hug I must say, he’s still that sweet guy that asks me questions like if I have anything to say to him or if I was okay. The problem starts here when I notice he’s too busy to check up on me but is able to spend time with this Aquarius girl. They’re getting closer and closer I can see them talking and tagging each other online. They seem to care for each other very much, and for me that is kind of like unexceptable since I get jealous very easily but I never show it out. He has abandoned me for her twice and I tried to forget that because I understand that she is his friend, but last week I can clearly see him tagging her in a comment on a romantic post for couples (the topic is “Don’t keep silence to break a relationship” sth like that) and he said to her “See, there’s much more need to be shared” and I started to claim that he’s beginning to fall for her. They talk with each other all the time in a zone that I can never know or touch. And that girl has been showing him, to me, affection. You can say that I’m over-reacting but feelings are feelings and I love him I just can’t help it. She’s been acting so cute so sweet and caring towards him, buying him gifts, making him food, touching him more than I do, and they hang out with each other a lot, and I’m so sorry but I just can’t handle that, I can’t help feeling aggressive towards her. When I’m not around she always act she’s diving in happiness and she’s getting more comfortable with him thinking I’m not there. I’ve been crying like hell for days and my friends told me to give up because he’s playing games with me and that I have better chance looking for someone who loves me more than him. I was about to give up on him so many times. But other Pisces friends of mine told me he’s just trying to make me jealous to test my love for him and say a pay back because I’m the dream of most guys around me, and that might have disturbed him for quite a while. If it’s true then I would say that’s just mean and childish. But if it’s not then is he really falling for the other girl? It’s just very heart breaking. I don’t know if I can keep up with his emotions anymore but I can’t give up now I just love him so much. I don’t know what to do nor how to act towards him and the girl. Being a sociable girl I won’t allow myself to let my feelings ruin my relationship between me and the girl despite I dislike her very much I guess you can tell. What should I do now Alan?
    I guess you wouldn’t suggest me to stop them from developing their relationship to another step huh?

  • Alan June 28, 2017

    I feel in many ways your scenario is still unclear with your other friend. Pisces guy aside that seems to be a big factor in all this and I still haven’t gotten clarification personally as to what it is you would do in a situation where you can’t juggle two guys in a sense. You need to focus on that first I think.

  • Rosie June 28, 2017

    You know what Alan? He just confirmed that he is dating that Aquarius girl 🙂 I’m like a joke to him now. What Flower said was right, accept the fact that he doesn’t see me as a best friend as he never tell me that they have been dating before 🙂 Okay I’m heart broken now. We are arguing with each other. I guess everything is clear…. 🙂 🙂 🙂

  • Rosie June 28, 2017

    I already blocked his facebook and delete his number he texted me but I deleted them too. Thank you so much for helping me through all that time, Alan and Flower. I really appreciate that and I am very looking forward to hear from you guys again 🙂
    With love.

  • Flower June 28, 2017

    Dear Rossie
    I guess u got it all wrong about what i told you before. By saying that he was looking for another girl I meant that should happen if there is a scenario where you are giving him your all, but he is not returning same feelings to you . But in your case I observed that you were definitely not giving him your everything. E.g. In your Leo friend case, you were not ready to give him up for your pisces love. My guess is that Aqua girl on the other hand was willing to do anything for him, like showing her complete dedication and loyalty towards him. This is what he wanted originally, and he got it from her. This is what happens when you are confused between two guys. I told you before also to search your heart and chose pisces guy if u find your genuine feelings for him, but I guess you somehow decided to carry with both guys as ur friends, when there was only one to chose.
    Yes its obvious now that you have lost him completely to that Aqua girl, as he is dating her. He might also be so confused by your reaction, because according to his understanding you were supporting your Leo friend when he needed you to be on his side.
    Really feeling sorry for situation that you are facing. I wish I could help in anyway. ?

  • Flower June 28, 2017

    P.S. don’t be sad. Just try to move on, like Alan always say that if its worth trying and waiting then you should, but if your love doesn’t chose you, then move on in your life. Always remember, what is yours will always come back to you, but if it doesn’t then it was never supposed to be yours in the first place. ?

  • Alan July 12, 2017

    My personal thought to that is it feels like you stayed with the mindset that his reactions or actions will change even if you don’t yourself which was necessary it sounded like. In that sense it isn’t surprising to me the outcome you saw unfortunately. I mentioned at other times it is actually kind of ironic where people say a person like me is very hard to get to take action yet I can easily be swooped up at the same time.

    My only other thought for educational purposes is that your example is kind of a good to actually understand why a person like myself potentially becomes so reserved or hard to break into for future reference. Because as mentioned a person like myself often worries about intentions in a sense when things aren’t clear based on actions. Example, if I was this guy I could say “Do you actually truly care for me as a person or do you just want something and then throw me to the curve?”

    That doesn’t necessarily mean materialistic stuff either as it can be emotional support as an example. Flower actually mentioned this as rationally it makes no sense. Example, with your other friend you were to a certain extent kind of attached to him and your Pisces friend understood and still supported you. But in essence when it came the other way around you kind of kicked him to the curve. So if that was me in my mind that kind of concludes as an example that the only reason you cared for him in a sense is not because of him as a person but rather you wanted him to fulfil something for you say emotionally. That’s how it would come across I feel potentially from his perspective.

    I say that again for future reference as if you truly valued someone in your life with that type of personality then be very careful as doing that could place a person like me in a mindset of a “you are gone” in my life sort of deal. And usually the only factor to determine the odds of a person “forgiving” that is just based on how many times they experienced that in life.

    But hopefully you use this experience as a way to better understand what you are looking for when it comes to a relationship in your life. Because in your example it feels like you needed to make a decision in many ways if you wanted to pursue say that pisces guy. I know for myself personally if I was to go into a relationship I have to know in a sense that I am your number one because I will definitely treat you as that.

  • Rosie September 1, 2017

    Hello again.
    I’m sorry it’s been so long since things happend between us and I don’t have the courage to bring this up to anyone. I’ve been keeping this to myself for a while, I stop myself from sharing my story and emotion to my friends and family and it’s been causing me depression. Today I’ve managed to rethink about relationship again after giving him the space he needs.
    I unblocked him a month ago spoke to him again. It seems that he’s glad that I’m no longer shocked about him hiding from me his current relationship status as he says “I’m never angry at you for blocking me, I’m just concerned that if you’re still upset about me or not”. I thought that things went well for us after weeks, but here’s a problem. He said that he still sees me as a very special friend of his and he never minds the fact that I have any kind of emotion towards my Leo friend or not, it never came up in his mind, which is so relief I guess. He still wants to remain our friendship. But what makes me concern is that he is inviting me to go out with his group of friends, including his girlfriend! All his other best friends love me but I know that his girlfriend never liked me, not at all when she knew that me and Pisces used to have great times together with such connection and romance.
    I had a hard time thinking whether to bring this situation up for an advice since you’ve helped me so much, Alan, but I’d rather think this is considered unacceptable and I feel so ashamed, from the bottom of my heart. I’m feeling from my instincts that I should find a way to sort this out, look for a way to win him back, at any cost, even if he is now in a happy new relationship. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way, I’m never like this before. Maybe because he has given me so much hope and dreams for a future between us and then he let me down so bad by jumping into a new relationship without telling me anything about it at all for months, not until I got angry and asked him directly. I know you understand the feeling I am going through right now. I’ve rejected his invitation so many times as he continues to ask me again and again every when he has spare time, I know I can’t hide from him forever. But facing his girlfriend is something I don’t think I can put up with.
    I’m messed up at this point. As you said he has romantic feelings towards me but why he never said he love me made me felt terrible because I was scared of rejection so badly that I waited forever for his signal, but then he just turned away and tell the Aquarius girl his love and his will to be together with her, the girl who has been his close friend for so long and also has romantic feelings for him. Nobody not even his best friends can predict his romantic feelings towards Aquarius caused us shock. When everyone even his closest friend said that he’s so into me it’s killing him. I tried to find a better explaination for his actions but I just couldn’t since he said he never minds me being close to Leo and be there for him because he understands we are best friends too and that I got confused was easy to understand. And now he’s expecting me to meet up with his girlfriend is causing me a headache.
    From my understanding they have been secretly dating for months and Pisces is very happy with his current relationship (like I’ve said he’s rarely in a real relationship with anyone before, it’s like a total new experience to him), that he is so excited that he wanted to shout out to the world but his gf stopped him from letting the public know, somehow he hide it from me, too. He’s been treating her with all his heart and has currently stopped all the romantic deals between us. It’s like a fairy tale, his friend said. I also know that he and his gf meet up every Sunday.
    My concern is, I’m feeling like he’s trying to make his gf becoming someone else, someone like me. I’m saying that because I love to wear pretty dresses and skirts and put on some slight makeup etc.. and his gf is very much not the same, she’s rather simple and doesn’t approve with putting on make up but he’s expecting her to do it by giving her makeup tools and pretty dresses.. I don’t know why he’s doing it if he thinks he loves his gf so much when he knows too well that it’s not her hobby. Another fact is that she’s studying nursing in a school very far away from ours. Ours I mean Pisces and I are studying in two different universities but are located in the same area, which means we are close to each other geographically. Her family wants her to focus on her study and won’t let her see him. They’re still happy together on social media but they don’t see each other often anymore due to the disadvantages I see. And rarely does Pisces speak about his gf when we text. He still replies my messages with care, just less than before. He has distanced himself from me but somehow I feel that he does not want things to be this way. I would very much want to win him back but I don’t know if I should, because this is rather unacceptable to social. On the other hand I don’t know what to do everytime he invites me out with his girlfriend. It’s so quick that he jumped into a relationship with another girl that made me wonder how much he loves her. I still think there is hope for me I’m just asking myself that if this person is worth anymore
    These are my sincere feelings that I’ve fought myself to come to a decision to say this out loud so you, the people I trust can hear my story. I do want to win him back, I want him back badly. It’s okay if you don’t approve what I’m thinking I can understand it perfectly well, I just don’t know if I should move on because I still love him very much and because he still keeps connection with me, expects me to be there for him. We can’t stop being friends and I can’t standing there watching him change and falling in love with a girl such suddenly. I hope you could understand what I am going through and I’m so sorry if this bothers you, I really am.

  • Alan September 11, 2017

    I feel with what you wrote the only real thing you can do is be the best you for yourself and him. If that’s accurate that this is very new to him with the emotions on top of you mentioning that it seems like he is hoping that girl becomes someone she isn’t then being aggressive can make him pretty defensive I would imagine. Essentially it will most likely have to be that girl doing something very bad to him for it to break per se.

    On the extreme side maybe he feels he is trapped in the sense of he doesn’t truly like it but it’s the right thing to do per se to stick with it. But even there it would require you to simply be the best you as oppose to anything irrational I would imagine. If I were you I would actually take the time to genuinely try and underrated how they met and what convinced him to go into it. Take the time to learn about the situation.

    Because I would say with the notion that you mentioned how his friends didn’t even see it coming these things never truly just happen suddenly as it is built up for quite some time. That’s my example too on how people say a person like myself seems so difficult and complicated to catch per se but in reality we can be swept up just like that. I wouldn’t be surprised if that girl was the one who initiated it as an example. Or as an example did he go into it because she had some kind of “sad” event in life where he is trying to be the hero? Lots to learn and discover.

    That’s the important thing for you I feel though. Take the time to truly and genuinely learn about the “why” about his situation as opposed to focusing too much in taking him from her.

Leave a Reply