My Best Friend
Hmmmm how do I start. I have a guy friend who is a Pisces.It all started when we were juniors in high school. We studied in the samechemistry class and we sat next to each other. My first impression of him was that he was a little bit rude and liked to tease me annoyingly. DEFINITELY NOT the type of sweet and romantic Pisces. He was smart and helpful though, and has a weird sense of humor (I don’t know how to explain this but you get the idea, he’s kinda geeky). At first we fought a lot like little children and he always see me as a dude, I can never imagine how I would evermeet such a disturbing guy like that. Class always end at late 7P.M so he used to invite me to the coffee shop later. Then he would talk, and I literally mean to the ends of the earth.
He shared so much about his passion to me, about chemistry, biology, scientific topics in general, his favorite famous quotes, musics, anime, books, etc… He kept sharing and I kept listening to him day after day… Until eventually he texted me to say: “I was thinking of whether to call you my new best friend”. I was really surprise because he had a wide relationship with A LOT of hot and lovely girl friends surrounding him by that time (and find him attractive too smh), so, why me??? But then he kept showing how much he would wanted us to be closer so I agreed, and we became besties since then. Things would have just end up right here just until things began to change.
He started changing the way he talks to me, not the “hey dude” kind of talk again. He started calling me “bae” and “sweetie”, sending endless “<3” emojis when we text. He’s been acting like a real gentleman and took good care of my needs. He gave my presents, a lot. He’s been such a sweetheart that everybody in school started doubting whether I was his girlfriend. Despite the rumours, I’ve never seen him explain to people the real deal about us, he just smiles and laughs joyfully anytime somebody calls us a couple (even when at that time I was dating another guy in college). He took such good care of me that made me thought that I was his baby girl.
We don’t text too much but he’s the one who makes the first moves. He always ask me what I was doing, or what I will be doingthe next day, how was my trip or my feelings sth like that, sometimes suchsilly questions that makes me feel like he does not ever want to end the convo with me, so he kept asking questions and replying sweetly to me despite of my short answers such as “okay lol” or “oh really, cool”. He sometimeseven send me little flirty texts like “I wanna be more mysterious than that so that you would find me more attractive”, “What if I’m not this mysterious anymore would you dump me?” , “I want you to look everything at the bright side, do you hear me babe?”… (his sweetness kills me I admit it). He even introduced me to his other close friends and always invite me to hang out with them.
His friend liked to tease me and him, say that he misses me and how much he would wanted to be my guy, but I never see him say anythingabout it, just a long silence. One time his friend told me that he mentions about me a lot when they chit chat, he seemed sooo excited and enjoyable about it, but still I have doubts about what his friend had to say. Sometimes when I play around with my other guy friends and sweet talk (just a normal friend thing to all of us), he doesn’t seemed to be comfortable with that and turned quite cold to me for a while, sometimes ask me questions about those dudes. My friends say he might have something for me.
And my biggest wonder is that why he would urge to touch me whenever he could (?) He usually look me in the eyes when we talk, and he would urge to put his hand on my arm, my shoulder, my back, sometimes my legs/laps, or teases me with slight hits and pokes. He had always layed his eyes on me even when he has other bussiness or priorities to do, always make time for me and my emotions. I thought that he had been sending all the signals that he could to tell that he likes me, and time after time, finally I have fallen for his loveliness.
But I still have no confidence in what I think about his feelings for me. He once said he didn’t want to get involved with any kind of emotional relationship right then because he was afraid of getting his freedom lost, or it will cause difficulties for him to balance love and his other hobbies (he’s a real Peter Pan guys), so at any cost, he would rather not date, so I don’t wanna flatter myself. Then, early this January, I could clearly seethat he was avoiding me.
Avoid seeing me, avoid sending text messages to me for a month or less. I was really confused about what had happened and what was wrong with him. I tried contacting him but he doesn’t seem to be into replying me as usual before. He spent time playing more sports, do more research, hang out with his friends more but barely can he pass by my class and say “hello”? I was so upset at first but now he’s back and he’s so… normal (?).
I mean the normal guy friend kind of way, he holds a clear distance between us now, and I have difficulties finding out what was going through his mind. Did I do something wrong to make him upset or did he just not having feelings for me anymore or what else? Did or does he like me? Help me guys please I think I’m having a crush on him now… I’ll update more if anything new happens between us for you guys.
From what you wrote I would be inclined to say it basically boils down to you are looking for words of confirmation and he is looking for confirmation based on action. I know for like myself I would most likely never say to a person “I like you” as opposed to hoping the connection will naturally happen. Example, sitting or walking together where both parties are inclined to just naturally hold each other’s hand.
It would seem that after all this “rejection” which you may be oblivious to he is simply reading into it the way he interprets things. Basically, you didn’t take initiative such as you mentioning you clearly notice he had the urge to touch you and so you kind of drew the line in the sand to do not enter.
I would say with what you wrote and assuming you want to push things forward get “flirty” as they say in a down to earth way. Example, he made you happy? Give him a hug. Notice he has that urge to put his hand on your arm but is hesitant? Grab his hand yourself and place it on your arm. If he is truly into you in that way and he thinks like me that is kind of the initiative you have to take in many ways. It’s almost like saying one is constantly swimming in-front of you so you just need to grab them. Take your time of course and do It delicately, but the bottom line is take more initiative I say.