Ask A Pisces Man Mailbag March 03 2012

Davon Asks:

Hello there! I have a bit of a situation. I go to school with a pisces man and I’m kind of into him (I’m a libra man). We met a semester ago and we’re slowly becoming friends, but it feels like every time I try to get to know him a little better, he starts to emotionally shrink away and hide behind humor or coldness. One of my friends has been close friends with him for a while and she’s been telling me that I fall under all the characteristics of his ideal guy. The only problem is it’s hard to make a connection with him because he doesn’t open up that well. His mind always seems to be somewhere else, which is part of what I like about him. Do you know how I can get him to open up a little more or even ask him out for a date? Thank you. 🙂

Davon,

From my personal perspective, what people would call “cold” in this scenario is more than likely that the person is self conscious about the things that he finds interesting in life where he thinks the majority of people would react negatively to it. Therefore, one would try and play it safe usually by trying to do things that they think others will embrace. A stereotypical example would be a guy that is into technology where the majority of people in the world would label him as an undesirable geek. Therefore, if people try to get to now him he will instead talk about other things.

Since your friend seems to know a lot about him I would try to investigate him through her a bit more if possible such as hobbies and interest. If the above is true then more than likely he will have a lot of things that he doesn’t advertise proudly about and so that would be a very good starting point for you to open him up more in my opinion.

Kie Asks:

Hello,

My name is Kie my Pisces man was expressing how he wanted to get married, when he talked about anything he referred it not as he or I,But We ,Our, or Us.Shortly after I he admitted that he & his ex were roommates.He did & said everything to make sure I was secure with him.A little while after that him & the ex had gotten into a real bad argument she began moving her belongings out of the house.After that happened it seemed as if he just shut down.My man then turned around and told me that he needed some time to get his ish together @ didn’t feel that right now he was ready to be in a relationship.He still expresses that he wants to be with me but just not right now.I am heartbroken!Sometimes he acts like he doesn’t want to talk to me.Since then the incident his ex is completely out of the picture but he is acting very distant.He was just speaking about marriage.I have met his parents & son after all the bull had kicked off.Yet he is still acting confused.He went from opening up to completely shutting down.I don’t know what to do or think anymore.I don’t want to believe that he lie to me about everything.When I asked if I should Leave him alone, he stated that is not what he wants.I dont know what else to do.

Kie,

While I don’t know this person’s entire situation in life, I wouldn’t say he lied to you about wanting to get married but rather there is probably a factor in all this where he promised you something which would come as a result of the marriage which he can’t fulfil for some reason. For example, you mentioned that his ex roommate got into a fight and she moved all of her belongings. Maybe as a result of that fight he lost something that helped him financially a lot and now without it he can’t have the glorious wedding he promised you. Again, that is just an example as I don’t exactly know all of the details.

I would say too that usually the less intrusive way to find out what is going on in this scenario is whatever plans you two had together in terms of building a future together you could simply take initiative and offer to do whatever was needed to get done. The person will either embrace it or stop it and from there it will usually open up what is really on their mind.

Kali Asks:

I’ve been dealing with a Pisces guy off and on for 5 yrs. I’m 12yrs older than him, I’m a Scorpio, and we are of different racial background (hasn’t been easy as his family would have serious issues with it). I was separated when we met but when back to my husband. The Pisces and I kept seeing each other and eventually had sex once two years ago. I’ve tried to understand him or see if he feels anything real for me (husband knows it could go either or since we’re in an open relationship). But Pisces will not say that he loves or even likes me. All I know is I invoke strong feeling in him, usually anger like no one he’s ever met. Anyway, on New Year’s Eve I texted him saying that I’m cutting him loose because my heart can’t take any more of his coldness. The only time he shows any human emotion is when he wants to fool around (no intercourse). His reply was “yes. Happy New Year whore” I didn’t speak to him anymore he called me on Feb 4th …..I’m trying to understand why the call? He seemed so happy to hear that I was moving on?

Let me be clear about my question 1. Why did he respond this way “yes. Happy New Year whore”

then turn around and call me?

this wasn’t the only time, there has been times when he said that if i call him again he’s going to press charges and he’s told me to lose his number on several occasions only to call me weeks later? I don’t get it

Kali,

In my personal opinion based on what you wrote, it sounds like he isn’t very happy/proud about his decision in terms of the relationship he had with you which based on what you wrote sounded mostly like a sexual one. Therefore, calling you that name and such is kind of like a self serving way to semi convince himself that you are the bad person in life to try and not take accountability for his own decisions in life.

That makes sense to me as a result on why he would still contact you even after that as he still wants what you are giving him but doesn’t want to take any responsibility that comes with it.

Ignacia asks:

I broke up with my Pisces after 6 year together, we were on and off after the break up but now he is distant, he said he miss me and think about me but I found out he has been going out with the same girl was always texting him while we were together. He is basically going with her to every place we use to go and even hanging out with the same group of friends, he swear is nothing going on but just a friendship with no interest of pursuing her as s gf, don’t know what to believe anymore, I do love him and I have been giving him the space I believe he needs but is hard to see him around with her. She is totally different than me, while I enjoy certain kind of music and clubs she is very relax in dive bars and places you don’t need to dress up, but when is about nice restaurants, events and nice hotels then I am there for him, feel like he us having two life. His friends insisted me they are just hang out friends but dont know what to believe anymore.

Ignacia,

I didn’t really see a question in your mail here. However, I am guessing your main concern is if he is simply playing both sides of the fence with you and other other girl. I can’t really answer that for him as I am not him. But what I do know is if the person has a similar personality like mine and you are truly someone that he wants to spend his life with then you can probably deal with it as simple as telling him how you feel about the situation. If you say it truly bothers you then he should be offering solutions.

The only other thought I have is to keep in mind that relationships should be mutually beneficial. If he is getting what he wants out of it and you are not then that is something that needs to be fixed. Otherwise I would think that he isn’t the right fit for you.

Almy Asks:

Hi I am married and i know this piscean guy for long before marriage …infact we were in a relationship so after marriage i decide to move on and not to contact him again but dont know y and how we cme in contacty again and i got the smae feelingssss as before but somehow or the other i have always feel that he is cheation on me,n one day i hv caught him red handed read his messages from other girls n we broke up for couple of months now as i started again he is making me feel that i am special an no matter what people talk to him he only likes me ..i really luvhim a lot and feels that he makes me alive when he is around.not sure what to do plzzz help..

Almy,

I think for me this comes down to one’s personal preference as this is more of a general topic. If the person is giving you that much trust issues and as you’ve mentioned where you caught him red handed before then I would think it’s a matter of you weighing out all the pros and cons of the relationship and seeing if you personally think it is worth fighting for.

You can say eating certain junk food and such makes you feel great, but in the end if it is causing you to gain weight and affecting your health for example then it is a personal choice of yours to keep doing it or not. I personally don’t think this should be so much of a focus on him but rather yourself and deciding what you want in life and how you want others to treat you when it comes to a relationship.