Confused Pisces man

Hana Asks:

I’ve been online dating this Pisces man for about half a year. He used to be my teacher in university but then I went back to my country and we mainly only saw each other on facebook.
He was the one who initiated all the contacts. skype, whatsapp, call and message, whichever ways, and said he wants to properly introduce himeself to me as a man. He said he genuinely likes me as a woman and finds me sexy and stuff. We talked about works, hobbies, family etc and the chermistry was high. My feelings for him grow and we both agree we’re going to meet.
As we’re in two different countries and both working, we arranged to meet 2-3 times but could never succeed. We’ve been sexting and he insists me on sending him pictures as he sent his first. I did, with limitations but then told him I can’t go any further because it’s just so not me and I want to wait until we actually meet. After that he stopped the sexting, though sometimes mentions about sex casually as a joke during our conversations. He’s an expat in a Muslim country so it seems to restrict him in many ways. We actually argued quite a lot over these meeting and sexting things.

Now that I’m going to have a long holiday next month we are going to meet for the first time. But what concerns me recently is that he’s been texted and called less and less.
As I confront the problem, he said he is too busy with works . I was ok with that since we’re not children anymore but there’s still this feeling I can’t explain. I feel like this past month all I’ve been hearing from him was “i’m busy”, otherwise, only sexts seem to light up his mood.
I’m confused about the stage that we’re in. He said “in which we wait to meet” but keeps his flirtings. He talks about our next meeting in summer and things but I dont know if i’m being too cautious? I get this “emotionally unavailable” feeling but can not explain.

Maybe as we are now I feel unsure about how things would turn out to be? I don’t intend to force my expectations on him but at the same time, the one or two meetings are not making me feel secured I guess? For this guy i respect him a lot as he is an exceptional man, and I do hope things could turn out well but if this silence or this least of communication keeps going on I’m confused about how I should behave when we meet? or even “should we meet”

I hope you can give me your opinions as an outsider.

Thank you

Hana,

It feels like he likes the fantasy more than the reality. Think of it like someone saying how cool it would be to go skydiving and they constantly ask for pictures and videos about it. When it comes to actually putting a parachute on and placing him on a plane the reality of actually doing it scares him to death where he makes excuses not to attend.

Just for the sake of an example within this context, in some ways it is no different than how someone can fantasize about being with a “hot looking” celebrity even if they have crazy issues. But when it comes down to it they would run if the opportunity presented themselves to be in a real long-term relationship. Maybe the religion is a big part of it as you kind of implied.

I think you do need to meet in-person if you are serious in perusing things further. In my opinion, if the person is super reluctant/hesitant even after the type of communications you have been having with him then there is simply a skeleton in his closet that you should uncover I think where he isn’t being authentic about the whole situation. I don’t think you need to worry too much and just be yourself. It’s his turn to start showing initiative based on what you wrote has happened so far I think.