Confused

Baru Asks:

Hello,

I’m a Capricorn woman (moon in scorpio) and I liked this Pisces (moon in capricorn) guy for some time now. We met through our friends at b-day party and he seemed really interested in me, he kept talking to me, asking me a lot of questions about my personal life and it was super fun. We fooled around, then he asked me if I wanted to dance with him I said yes and while we were dancing we kissed. It’s really hard for me to find someone I like, someone who sparks interest in me and he was able to do that for me…

However after the dancing part he wanted to take me home with him and I understood what he had in mind and since I’ve known him only few hours I rejected that offer because it seemed a little bit too much for me for one night and I didn’t want to look like THAT kind of girl. He accepted my rejection though he looked little bit dissappointed he asked for my number and if he can contact me sometimes, I agreed to that. He even sent me text that night saying he really wanted me to stay little bit longer. After that he dissappeard and since I really liked him I tried to contact him myself after some time. He was always really nice to me but he never had time to meet me, though we meet a lot through our friends, and when we met through our friends he suddenly acted strange, keeping his distance.

He was always polite to me and I thought he simply doesn’t like me anymore so I gave up… After few months we got little bit drunk and stayed out till late night, he started to tease me again, teaching me how to play pool he even chose this really slow and romantic song from jukebox and grabbed me and started to dance with me, he hugged me really tight, even lifting my legs around his waist and while I was really enjoying that it left me super confused again because nothing followed after that. He even looked interested in some other girl and it looked like he’ll start going out with her (it didn’t happen in the end) so I told myself there’s no way he liked me ever and that it was all game to him.

As a capricorn I have strong intuition and it’s almost always right, there was always this intimading sexual tension between two of us since the first moment I met him and I just couldn’t help myself it was really hard not to want him, I could see him stare sometimes too, looking into my eyes without saying anything.. After some time I found out his male friends laughed at him, after he told them about me so that was the reason why he kept his distance from me….

I was really angry and hurt by that since it was rude and I just thought how could he let them affect him so much… This weekend we went to cottage with our friends again and we got drunk, we danced, we even went to swim naked in lake while he kept teasing me and in the end we ended up sleeping together after so many months, and it was good and both of us had really good time.

But we didn’t talk about it yet, because we didn’t have chance to and I don’t really know how he feels about me though he’s treating me so kindly all the time, he’s never rude or mean and he certainly doesn’t wanna hurt me. I don’t even know if he likes me and I don’t know if it’s a good idea to talk to him about it, I don’t want to scare him off or make him feel like I wanna control him, I just wanna talk about it I guess… What do you think would be the best way to approach him because we will probably see each other again very soon. Thank you

Baru

Baru,

Based on what you wrote, it almost feels like he wants to be close due partly to social pressure. To me it kind of fits in line with the initial semi aggressive approach followed by the distance. If that’s true, then you are kind of in an awkward situation where you are mostly likely going to get denials and tension in trying to bring it up on whether or not he truly likes you.

I personally feel the best way to get the conversation going here is to simply suggest doing more things together. If it feels like he reacts in a way where he feels obligated or never has time to do it then I feel that is a good enough sign to say he doesn’t’ really like you in that way. Like there, he can still be polite in doing it. But reading in-between the lines on whether or not he really actually wants to do it is the no-confrontational way to get answers I think.

I guess the other thing is too that if you are afraid to talk to him in this situation would you want to be in that for the long-term? In many ways, if you are a person that likes to be communicative and expressive in that way then whoever you are with should embrace that as well I feel without you feeling you have to be someone you are not. Something to think about.