Does he like me? So confused!

Eleanor Asks:

Hi! I’m an Aquarian girl and it usually takes a long time for me to get emotionally invested in someone, but this Pisces guy is just so… Addictive.

I’ve never been able to see him as just a friend. In fact, the first time we met, we were at a sort-of-party but more like a friend gathering. We were watching a horror movie and out of nowhere, he slowly grabbed my hand in the dark. We held hands the whole time, until they turned the lights on. Then, I forgot how, but about 4 of us were sitting there (the rest had left the “party”) and the conversation got to me saying I’m very ticklish. So you guessed it, he tickled me. He’s a year younger than me, by the way.

Alright, so fast-forward to the next week. We’d see each other randomly, but we were never really constant in talking. We’d text here and there but we would still talk about deep stuff or things you’d only talk about with your best friend, you know?

Now it’s a year later and he texted me, just like that, a few months ago. I admitted to him that I used to like him and he asked my why I never said it before, to which I replied that I was scared. He said “maybe something could’ve happened if you’d told me”. I know Pisces are a water sign so they are driven by emotions, and I’m driven by logic, but we both have a big point in common:

it is extremely hard for us to express our feelings. I know this because I asked him, since I’ve heard you need to be straightforward with a Pisces, especially with guys, lol.

Anyway, we’ve been kind of flirting ever since, because, like I said, we just can’t be simply friends, there’s always more to it. Later, he took the bus to come see me at a fast-food place. We talked the whole time and did stupid stuff (like both go into the female bathroom at the same time and in the same cabin- yes, I know, idiot teenagers- but we didn’t do anything, don’t get me wrong). Oh, and my mom doesn’t allow me to date, so when my little brother randomly showed up, I was like “yo, that’s my brother, oh no” and he stepped away from me and pretended not to know me until my brother left, because he just knows.

Usually, my friends would put me at risk even more, but he didn’t. He understood that this was serious. Anyway, fast-forward again, we would have 11 hour-long calls, in which he would say, very low, “I love you” and then say “what? I didn’t hear anything, did you?” and he’d do that a lot until he was sure that I heard it. He always says “damn, you’re a keeper” and talks about marriage. We have had conversations about what our life would be like if we were married. He also said something along the lines of “you’re so mature, and look at me” because I have very strong opinions and I stand for what’s right and always have intelligent things to say about serious matters.

And all he does is act immaturely, for example, we’d be talking about feminism and every time I’d pull out a straight fact, he would say things like “cool, dude” or “ok lol” and send me a picture of ‘feminists’ holding signs that say “Proud Sluts”.

But we never stay mad. Right after we argue, I say “hi” and he says it back and a new conversation starts from there. Like, right away, not an hour later. Right away. About him; he’s always kind of cold, teases me a lot and jokingly brings me down. I told him that sometimes he hurts my feelings, so now he says “kidding” after a mean joke.

I tell him I love him almost every day and he says me too, but at first he was kind of against the idea, he’d say “if it doesn’t mean anything to you, it doesn’t mean anything to me” because he thought I was just throwing those words around.

Now he is moving away and might not come to the same school as me next year. He said “I might not even come, so what’s the point?” and I asked, “the point of what?” and he said “don’t act dumb” to which I replied, “I’m not, I want to know what you mean” and he said “nevermind”. He always does that; starts talking about something and ends up brushing it off with an “I don’t know” or a “Nevermind”.

Anyway, this is way too long and I’m sorry, but I really like him and I want to know how he feels about me. He comes home earlier than me and usually texts me then. If he doesn’t, I do and we text every day.
Please help!

Eleanor,

To me it sounds like he kind of doesn’t want to “do the work” if you want to call it that when it comes to obstacles and challenges. He would instead rather hide in the corner and let someone else take care of it. That’s my impression with what you wrote such as the last part about potentially not being in the same school where he just says “nevermind” as you say.

Like there he is kind of expecting you to be on top of everything while offering the solutions. I think a stereotypical example would be a child that always wants to play and is happy then. But once the toy or game becomes too hard for whatever reason they will immediately want to just drop it and go to something else unless someone solves it for them. That would make sense with your conversations about things like feminism too where you say you present the facts and he responds with like jokes of sort.

So overall with what you wrote to me it feels like he wants you without the responsibilities at this point. Your feelings can be another example of this. If you say it hurts your feelings it’s easier to say “kidding” all the time as opposed to “sorry” and taking accountability for it. Gain it kind of shows he wants all the good and none of the bad in a sense. That’s not very realistic of course in building a relationship. But I think it is safe to say it sounds like he has a ton of growing up to do too. Whether or not you want to persist with it to see how he turns out is up to you of course.