pisces man confusing
Reader Questions


Mary Asks:

Hi super Alan,

Hope you are doing good. I am a lion, but I am influenced by virgo rising and acquarius moon, I am totally in love with a pisces, sagi rising, moon in aries, don’t know the reasons but I like him a lot, we were dating for some months, good connection, awesome attraction, I can’t think about him because the feeling is so strong for me, It doesn’t seems for him or he has different ways to show it.. I had to leave his city so we had to deal with distance, not easy, we argue frequentely, he doesn’t like it..

I feel he got more distant and I try to push him to react showing me that he needs me and he likes me… But he keep saying that he is busy with his job, I don’t trust this, because when I say something that is not good for him, maybe is hurt?!, but he does the same attitude, he acts cold and keep distant… If I write him he does reply but I wish he could show me his love.. Or his interest. When I usually meet him his eyes are glistening, he is totally different, like very sweet and shy… He is very respectful with me and very careful.. But I would like to make him speak and show more…

Last week I made him a bit jealous on purpose (I know I am bad) so he didn’t say anything about it, just joking a bit but he bacame even more distant!!! ?? … So I got a bit mad after some days…. And I said him that maybe he is too busy for me… And I should keep distance… He was like: “if you think like this…” ??? I can’t understand.
Anyway I did, and I said him to don’t write him anymore… I know I have never done it before.. But I felt so insicure… And now I feel so bad…was a wrong decision… And I am coming back to his city in some days to stay…so we were supposed to meet… Don’t know what to do. And what to think.. Don’t know if he interested or he jokes. How to make him react… If is too late. So confused Alan, please suggest me something..

Thank you! ❤️


Based on what you wrote it almost feels like he is staying with the relationship more out of loyalty than genuinely believing it is the right match. That would kind of match with the notion on how he seems kind of disengaged with you yet still sticks around even though you tried to make him jealous and all. This is like a complete role reversal where it’s usually the female who is the one hoping the guy will change. But in this case it’s almost like he is hoping you will change. That’s why I would say too that being in-person in this case is so much easier. Because when you are in a distance you have to have that true connection to stay strong.

If what I said is accurate then I would have a serious talk with him on what you and him want for the future to see if it truly aligns or not. Being on the more shy and reserved side is one thing as even I am like that. But these kinds of actions to me shows that he isn’t entirely happy with the situation and so you two need to dig deep I say.

If you told him to never write anymore and he has never responded since then all you can really do at the moment is send an invitation to meet. Explain how you would like to talk things over and that maybe the way you talked to him wasn’t the best way to do so. A person like me would generally be very open to hearing what you have to say as a big part of me doesn’t want to believe in the worst in people.


  • Mary February 28, 2016

    Thank you Alan, u awesome!
    I wrote him also something that maybe offended him, like that he was just dating me for sex… I know that he his very loyal but I didn’t like his disappearing acts sometimes that made me doubt a bit.. Was a kind of punishment saying like: you should open up if u don’t like something and share with me instead cause otherwise I can misunderstand your intentions…
    Anyway dear Alan, I did. I texted him saying that I am sorry I was cravinh for attentions but I know he is busy, I was not in control of myself and I hope we can still meet soon. HE DIDN’T REPLY!!! ??
    Alright I think I am in a red alert situation… Should I call him? Or just wait till eventually he will get over it? ???

  • mary February 29, 2016

    like 10 days ago he told me for the 5th time he wanna live with me… I mean for me is kind of hard cause I am very jealous of my space.. but yeah.. I said yes.. and he asked me to meet again… after that I made him jealous but he got also cold Idk why.
    I think he acts distant cause he lost some interest.. so don’t know what’s the best option, we haven’t seen each others since months, like 3.. I think is the time to speak face to face… Is pretty hard when u just text or sometimes call.. but maybe I wrong and I should just leave him. Don’t really know what to do.

  • Alan March 1, 2016

    I am a little confused on the part where you mentioned you made him jealous and at the same time you are wondering why he was cold. I would imagine those two factors would be related.

    In my opinion, all you can really do is explain yourself and leave it up to him. Unless you want to get super aggressive and surprise confront him. For myself anyways, when I feel I have been intentionally used and abused by a person they are just gone from my life. In that sense you shouldn’t really try too hard to change his mind. If your scenario is really that serious then I would confidently say a person like me will never really just “get over it.”

    Again, if he is unhappy around you that means something about you needs to adapt to him which may not be reasonable in your view. Hence, I would imagine that means this relationship isn’t meant to be. The question for you is do you kind of understand exactly what these changes would be and is it something you would do regardless of him?

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