pisces man go with the flow
Reader Questions

He is back

Alana Asks:

My name is Alana and I recently started dating a Pisces man. We met online and although we started as friends we kind of went romantic. We live far, and he was the one mentioning he is lonely and want to move to my country, so he made efforts, but everything seemed impossible. I did not believe much because of my recent relationship, but somehow he went under my skin and I was being supportive cause he is kind and nice and cause I liked him.

However, he decided to mute me and he went away for a month. Then, I sent him a long message explaining he hurt me and that I really do not understand what happened. Then he readded me on all social media and said he saw it has no future and he felt powerless.
What do I do now? Did i made a mistake for reaching out to him?

i have to mention he is a lonely, sad boy who have been through a lot so I always been careful with him.


My first honest reaction with what you wrote is that he simply isn’t who he claims to be in many ways where there is a high chance that you are giving him too much benefit of the doubt as a result of that desire to find the perfect partner per se. For example, the re-adding you on all social media in context with what you wrote feels like he wasn’t stringing you along, so to speak, fast enough and so it was like a calculated attempt to suspend the conversation in a way that gives him multiple options to flee or continue.

Like in this case I would be inclined to say the constant reiteration of him telling you that he is like lonely basically distorts your emotions towards him in many ways as we all naturally want to like say care for others. Was it a mistake to reach out to him? That really depends. What exactly was your goal in contacting him back? Example, to have him actually move to your country as you still see something here? To get unresolved answers that you can’t sleep at night without knowing?

I think we need to answer that first. But generally speaking you did reach out and you got the answer he gave you. So the question is how do you feel about that answer and how he has treated you thus far? From there it’s up to you to decide where to walk next.


  • Alana February 12, 2017

    Well, first of all, reaching out to him and getting him to say what happened is something that helps me sleep better at night (to call it like that). I just wanted to clean the toxic air of his dissappearing, that is/was affecting all areas of my life.
    On the other hand, he said he regret what he did and he is sorry that he had hurt me and that he did not want to break my heart cause we live far, which for me is a bullshit thing to be said (if I am really honest). But, it is something he said so i just took his words. What surprised me the most is the following:
    – i never asked for him to come here or do anything. For me it was nice to flirt and talk, especially because I dont (at first) see this as a fairytale that it is so easy to like someone and leave everything and just be happy. I know it happens, but it needs effort that I didnt offer or asked from his side. He did try to come through a certain programme and i was excited about it, but it failed. So, he said that is what made him become hopeless.
    -another thing that he said when i reached out to him was that he would like to rebild the relationship with me, but he hasnt spoken with me since then, so it kind of confuses me.

    What i get here as an impression is that he realized he doesnt really like me and he wants to do the damage control, by trying to calm the ball down.
    We all are different but we never talked about being exclusive, being a couple, or that we would have to be together, eventually.

  • Alan February 12, 2017

    I personally agree with the notion that him saying he didn’t want to break your heart because of the distance doesn’t sound genuine.

    If I was to think of this rationally without the emotion with what you wrote as an example it would make sense to me where there is a possibility you were part of the initial key of sorts of him being able to move out of his country. With it not seeming feasible he basically dropped you. Not feasible in the sense of moving in general as opposed to the goal of doing it specifically to be with you.

    That all makes perfect sense in many ways too about the saying he wants to rebuild the relationship with you but hasn’t actually done anything. Like with that example it’s more about he will focus more time with you when you align with his current plans. Until then it’s like he wants to keep you on a good note in case he does say need you in his life again. Bottom line I would personally say he doesn’t really like you in that way for who you are and his actions show it. Now what you want to do about that is entirely up to you.

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