Hot/Cold behavior….how should I deal with it?
Vi Asks:
I believe very much in Astrology so I will start this by saying I’m a taurus with ascendant in pisces moon in cancer (venus in Gemini) and my love interest is a Pisces and I only know his venus is Taurus and moon is in Aquarius. So I met him online on an app and we both clicked very well. He asked me out and I said yes. Also, keep in mind he told me I was the first girl he ever went out that he met online, because he thought I was very interesting and that we clicked. On the date, we had a lot of fun. What was weird though is that we hung out with his friends too, a gay couple. They were both really cool but I felt a little awkward, since i had no idea about it. He asked me if i was ok with it frequently and I reassured him I was fine.
He also asked if i was cold, if i was having fun and etc. He was the sweetest thing ever since the moment he picked me up. We spent 6 hours together doing absolutely nothing specific but i was having so much fun i did not care at all. We were both starving the whole time so at the end we ate burgers at a drive thru place. I felt something really strong with him, and I know he did too. I noticed the way he complemented me, told me things about his career(musician) and his vision of love. We are very different but very much alike too, both artistic people but from different fields. In love, I saw that he was idealistic and take things slow and so do i. Both very picky too.
At the end we kissed briefly, but was very sweet and I saw him gazing at me. he even said ”you are the cutest thing” before kissing me, because he realized I was going to make a joke about him not kissing me and i was blushing. However, I reached out the next day (i know, crazy) and told him i wanted to see him again before leaving back home for 20 days. I was ignored, double texted, he answered and said he was busy but did not ignore me. Told me he would be working but if he was near would definitely let me know. I said it was fine but tried to engage on conversation and he ignored me again. By that point I thought he was not interested in me at all.
As many Taureans, I love stability, so I just wanted things done before I left. I sent him a text apologizing for trying to rush things and for scaring him off, and letting him know I was leaving him be. He texted back saying I never scared him off at all, that we had a great time and for me to not think that way! I was so confused. For a moment I thought he was only trying to not hurt my feelings, since he is so sweet. I answered back saying I was glad, and that i would let him know when i was back from my trip. I arrive back home tomorrow. In person, he told me to let him know i when i was back. Then all of this happened.
What should i do? give him more space or reach out? I really did not contact him all this time. I am very frustrated because I felt something there and I feel as if he is scared, because he felt it too and is overthinking now. But I might just be in denial.
If someone has any ideas and tips, please help me. I seriously do not want to loose this connection. Love does not come easy to me, and connections like this are even harder.
Vi,
From what you wrote I would be inclined to say it doesn’t sound like he is extremely into you in the sense of you must be the one at this moment. Unless there is another detail I am missing he should have been enthusiastic in replying back to you right away. Busy or not with the scenario you painted, thinking for myself if you reached out to me the next day I would be super excited in the sense of I want to learn more about you.
What feels most likely the case is that there is something about you that he isn’t too enthusiastic about and so in many ways your assumption isn’t wrong where he is being polite to a certain extent. Actually, bringing you on the date with the other couple unexpectedly also would tell me personally that he is trying to learn about you in an extremely controlled environment of sort as people often act differently in front of others in this case. The only other thing which I wasn’t entirely sure was whether or not he was asking you those questions in front of the other couple where if he didn’t then that would be more genuine.
The only real time a person like you would “scare” me off with the scenario you presented is if you were being demanding where I felt you only thought about yourself. A good unrelated example is how a person before sent me a text message asking if I could help them with an item. That day I literally had no sleep and was doing stuff for about 17 hours straight. So I actually didn’t even check my phone. When I did check it eventually he sent another message before then where the person thought I was ignoring it and then followed up with a message along the lines of them demanding a yes or a no answer from me. Keep in mind I read these two messages at the same time when I finally had the opportunity to do so. For this person I simply didn’t reply back. Because as much as I try to give what I can even I know I need people that are considerate of others as well.
Your situation isn’t like that by the sounds of it as opposed to a level of interest. With what you wrote I think the safest way is to tell him you arrived back as he requested and then simply give him some kind way to learn about you. For example, since you say you are artistic I am assuming you have some kind of public space of sorts where people can view about your work or what you do. Like there if you had a social media site that you constantly update just let him know about it. If he is truly just “scared” and wants to learn about you at his own pace there is a very good chance he will constantly view it as his way to get closer to you.
At the same time maybe he has some kind of public exhibit as well. If you show support for that in a natural way that should make him want to get closer with you. Likewise, if he sees that he can support you in some way and he does then that is a great sign. If he just lets it be then I would be inclined to say he just is not that interested.