pisces man confusing
Reader Questions

I am wondering

Little Girl Asks:

Hello there,

I have a question and wonder to get an answer or explanation from you.

I really like a Pisces guy for about 3 years, and that happened when we were both high schoolers. He was younger than me, but we took the same Maths class so we saw each other pretty much every day. He was the one who came and talked to me first, I was so shy so I didn’t reply to him much even though he tried to talk and call my name everywhere I went in the school hall. Besides, he was VERY popular to the girls in school and he seemed friendly to them all. I was very sad about that but since he wasn’t my boyfriend, I couldn’t do anything to that.

There were three times he was confusing me, one day he decided to sit behind me and I thought he wanted to talk to his friend but he actually poked my waist multiple times, and that made my Maths teacher not happy with that. The second time was when we both walked in the school hall, and it was raining really hard outside and I held the door for him because he was the last one to get out of the class, he smiled to me when I held the door for him then I left him first to go back to the locker first, then all out of sudden, he suddenly grabbed and pulled my waist to him, I was so shocked and almost screamed in the silent school hall. My face went red so I picked up everything and ran down quickly. The third time happened in the library, I was doing the homework and he suddenly appeared and walked towards me since his friend was sitting beside me to finish his work too, but when his friend left the library, he still sat there and said not a word to me. My mind went crazy so I left to the toilet to hope that he might leave the place, when I came back, he was there sitting beside my chair saying nothing at all. He made my mind go crazy.

Sometimes I thought he might like me, but I wasn’t so sure about that.

After high shool, we didn’t see each other anymore, he had a girlfriend and I had my own personal matter to solve. One day, I decided to talk to him on Facebook, then he took 3 days later to answer me, we had a short conversation, but he suddenly stopped talking to me. I waited for him so long, but I got nothing from him. I was very upset and annoyed with that. I got more annoyed when I saw him online on Facebook, but he didn’t reply anything to me, that hurt me a lot.

Well, it takes few days to get over that, I am no longer sad at him because I love him, I respect whatever choice he makes. I am writing to you here just to know what advice you would give me, so I hope to hear your answer and thank you for taking a time to reply me. Have a nice day.

P.S. He told me he was in the army until the beginning of December, and we’re both foreign students in the USA.
P.S.S. I am a Sagittarius girl.

Little Girl,

To me it sounded like he was clearly into you and at the same time in a way it’s like he got turned down by you each time. Based on what you wrote too, quite a bit of time has passed since then where he even has a girlfriend now. This is only a guess as I don’t know the person personally, but maybe he is a fairly loyal person. Example, if he has a girlfriend his commitment is to her and knowing he had interest in you before means he shouldn’t be entertaining the thought of pursuing a relationship with you as it may jeopardize what he has now. Hence, less commitment to you when it comes to communication too.

I think the best thing you can do if you are getting mentally caught up in this is getting permission to ask him a serious question or to tell him something. In this case, directly asking how he felt about you in high school or how you felt then about him. Obviously this is very subjective as some would argue if the person is already in a relationship then you shouldn’t bring these kinds of topics up and move on. So with that said it’s a personal choice.

About the notion of waiting three days to get a response even though you saw him on Facebook, I would take that as a sign that he has a lot on his plate in his life where he will first gravitate towards sources that are helping him with it, so to speak. With that you should ask yourself are you contributing positively to help him with it too or would you simply be adding more to his plate? Example, maybe the army stuff is super stressful and what he personally really needed is people who can make him laugh as opposed to a serious conversation. Something to keep in.


  • Little Girl September 30, 2015

    Thank you for answering my ask, and I do appreciate that. I am very happy that you have said he was clearly into me, and it was my fault for turning him down because I had my other personal matter to take care.
    However, about his relationship, I think he already breaks up his gf so I can talk to him a little bit but in the end, it turns out that he is in the army now. I am not the type of people trying to ruin someone’s relationship.

  • Little Girl October 1, 2015

    Besides he was the one who stopped talking to me first, I didn’t say something rude or offending him, at all.

  • Little Girl July 12, 2016

    Okay so here is how the story goes:

    Nine months ago, I had discussed with you about my Pisces crush, and you gave the advice, but sadly, I didn’t follow that because I was afraid of becoming an annoyance to his personal life so I shut myself down from him.

    However, out of blue, he popped up and continued the conversation between two of us earlier. I was very shocked and happy at the same time. We had some chats together, and I was glad of talking to him because I learnt the person of who he is. Unfortunately, due to the difference of time and his work, he replied pretty late and sometimes, he had seen the message without replying them to me. I felt a bit annoyed because I was the one who tried to keep up the conversation, I didn’t want that to die out just like last time. No.

    Besides, I just knew a fact that he broke up with his girlfriend but he still kept the pictures of them together on Facebook without publishing them. I was confused at first so I decided to be straightforward about his relationship, he told me that he didn’t have any girlfriend and thought it would be fine for us to chat to each other.

    There were many times I wanted to give up but thinking of the feelings that I wanted him so badly, I didn’t stop talking to him, I tried to take care of him as much as I can, I tried to be entertaining to him after his work. Also, sometimes, I felt that he knew about my feelings, so he wanted me to chase after him. I didn’t feel much that he disgusted me or some sort, but he basically enjoyed the chase. I didn’t mind that much since I wanted to learn about him.

    Truth to be told, I am trying everything to make him care of me.

    So…. from what you’ve read, Alan, what would you tell me? What advice would you share with me? Thank you for your patience, and I’m looking forward for your reply.

  • Alan July 12, 2016

    Based on what you wrote I would be inclined to say your biggest drawback seems to be that you aren’t in a sense enabling him to be and grow with you. What I mean by that is with what you wrote it sounds like you are trying to do a lot for him which is great in terms of like helping a person. But what exactly has been initiated which empowers him to be a part of your life? The way I would put it is like saying if you ask me a question I will give you an answer. If present to me a problem I’ll find you a solution. If you bring me into your life then I will be a part of it.

    I know you just mentioned that you are trying your best to say entertain him after his work as a way to build that connection. But I would say however you are doing it is not always resonating as something that is natural as opposed to something that seems planned as you expect something in return I guess you can say. To me that would make sense with things like reading a message but not responding as there is a sense of pressure that he needs to give you a certain type of answer which turns the conversation into like a job of some sort. So if he doesn’t have the energy for it then it is better to avoid it.

    Ultimately I would say stop trying to lure the person in so much as opposed to making it abundantly clear that the gates are open for him to grow with you. Then just leave it up to him as it is not something you have control over afterwards and should enable you to make a decision about this relationship.

  • Little Girl July 12, 2016

    I don’t really get you… Did you mean that I should not bother him anymore, and let him be so when he is ready, he would contact me again? Well, honestly, I don’t mind that at all but I would be VERY tired if he keeps quiet for a long time, just like 9 months ago, then he decides to talk to me, again?!?!?

    Besides, I don’t really know how to let him be and grow with me…

  • Alan July 12, 2016

    The more direct saying would be something along the lines of “He’s just not that into you” if you feel you truly opened yourself up to him and he isn’t in a sense responding to it. As I mentioned though, based on what you wrote it doesn’t sound like you are doing the things necessary to let him know you are inviting him to be in your life.

    Example, most of what you wrote to me feels more about you giving him something and then you are expecting something back in a very transactional way. Example like here you asked me a question and I answered back. Even if you come back every day asking how I am again it is just a relationship where I will answer your question. Now imagine we used your scenario on how one day you sent me a message where I read it but didn’t answer it right away where you then get annoyed as you feel you are the one putting all the effort to keep the conversation alive as you say. For example sake let’s say you actually wanted to be like friends instead.

    Instead you did things like showed me your website or whatever where you had a blog. I can learn more about you and you explicitly made it apparent that you welcomed any inputs that I may have in your life in general. Doing things like that is completely different in terms of what you are communicating to me and what role you want me to be in your life. If you have done everything like that then it is up to the other person to accept that “invitation” if they genuinely want to build something with you. Like here, if I completely just ignored you there then you should realize for yourself that for whatever odd reason I don’t want to go there.

    The ideal scenario would be now that you gave me the options to be in your life then I should be in a sense enthusiastic in reading like your daily adventures and all as I want to stay in tune with you. You shouldn’t have to tell me to do so. If you still have to like drag me by the ear even after you have done all that then that is what I am saying on how you need to make a decision about the relationship where like in this case I would be inclined to say no point in pushing for it as it should be an equal effort from both parties.

    Basically stop “chasing” and just start “opening up” if you are trying to build something more with him. You have to factor in everything from the past too like how he probably felt rejected by you before. Like maybe in your case you just haven’t really opened yourself up personally to him and therefore he doesn’t really have anything to work with. That could be something as simple as just casually having a normal conversation on how your day was. Then with that the person can naturally assess the situation to see how they can be a positive factor for it.

  • Little Girl July 13, 2016

    Thank you for your detailed explanation, now I totally understand what you said. You were right in one thing that I wanted to befriend with him first, because it had been such a long time that I didn’t contact to him at all. I choose to see him as a friend because firstly, I want to make sure about my feelings towards him, secondly that I am facing my personal problems and I do not want to share with him that, yet. I am not in my comfortable mood to discuss because I am afraid if I share with him about my problems, it would scare him away and leave no sign behind.

    Besides I know one thing about the Pisces. you guys don’t like the pretentious people so I guess that I should stop trying so hard, and just be myself and slowly open up to him. Honestly, I still don’t know how to open up with him, at all.

  • Little Girl September 14, 2016

    Okay… this is what is happening to me right now. The conversation between the guy I liked for soooooo long and I didn’t last so long. It was all first started okay when he told me about his plan, his vacation with his family in Spain, etc. I had a fun time talking to him but all out of sudden again, he stopped talking to me even though he saw me asking him how his day was. He didn’t reply me almost close to 1 month now ( I actually don’t keep up the dates, I just assumed but I know, for sure, I have waited for so long). I am tired of keeping the conversation alive. I am tired of being the one who holding so many feelings in the hands but none of them could reach him, like at all? I waited for him to reply but I got none. I was really upset and offended of the way he did to me.
    I think it is so useless to keep all the hope and waiting for just only him when he doesn’t care about me.
    Now, today, I am going to drop all the feelings down and will probably not to pick them up ever again. It is so tiring to have the feelings hanging for so long since the beginning it is already useless.

  • Alan September 14, 2016

    My first thought is what you wrote feels like it is still going back to the stop chasing and start opening up route. Example, it’s still the same cycle of you asking questions and him answering with what you said. What have you changed outside of that in terms of opening up to him? Did you invite him to go along with you to a place as an example in terms of taking initiative?

    As I mentioned before too, if you did all that stuff in terms of opening yourself up and he still hasn’t pursued you or “cooperated” with your advances then he most likely simply doesn’t see you in that way for whatever reason. To reaffirm again, having like a casual take turns asking questions routine is different than say you sharing with him your needs in life and how he can help you with that.

Leave a Reply