Lost In Love
Hi Alan! I’m fan of yours from last 4 years since I have fallen in love with this over ‘mysterious’ guy . I fell in love with him on some social website. We chatted and skyped all night initially for some months. But due to my impatient nature i got into frequent fights with him, which resulted in pushing him away from me. And one day he suddenly blocked me on all social websites and skype too. But due to my obsession with him i kept on calling and messaging him on his any contact number that i could get my hands on. But he rarely replied, except gor few times. After an year he was forcefuly engaged to his some relative girl by his father. I was devastated after the news. I was heart broken and cried for whole 2 years. I had almost forgotten about me and thought he must be married by then, but a source told me that he was delaying his wedding by different excuses. Within a very short time after that his father also died, i consoled him by sending him email, he called me back to thank me. After that whenever i contacted him, he seemed in cheerful mood, like almost welcoming my attention to him.
Alan now the problem is this that two more years have passed since his father’s death, and my contacting him again. He do not regularly reply to my messages, but read each and every single message, poetry that i send him. ( notification on social website as ‘seen’ when someone reads your message). He is still delaying his wedding with his fiancé, although she is crazily expressing her affection for him and contacting and visiting him day and night to pursuade him to marry her soon . I came to know all this as suddenly his fiancé contacted me to become my friend on Viber. I tried to refuse to talk to her but she insisted to become my friend, claiming that she had no problem if i continue loving and sending messages to her fiance (strange).. So here is my question Alan.. How to know that what does this Pisces of mine wants? If he loves me then why he won’t leave his fiancé? But if he doesn’t then why don’t he marry her and simply block my messages?? How to know whats in his heart? Because he never answers straight questions that i ask.
Nice to hear from long time followers. 🙂 That is really odd if his fiancé is openly giving you permission to continue loving him, so to speak. That makes me think he isn’t giving her the attention she craves and is desperate to find answers for it. In many ways I am inclined to say she is chasing after answers like yourself.
For him specifically, it doesn’t sound or feels like he loves either of you based on what you wrote. It feels like he has major issues in terminating relationships that he doesn’t feel is right for him in his life. So instead, he kind of tolerates and settles with it hoping that life will sort itself out as opposed to aggressively trying to get rid of it. It’s like a person going to work every day hating it and believing if they just work hard while being nice to everyone things will come.
To me, this mentality would make sense for your scenario with him and why he doesn’t simply leave his fiancé. It would fit in as to why he reads your messages and only responded to you when his father died too. Basically, he doesn’t feel you are right for him but when you contacted him at a time he needed some attention due to the circumstance he was responsive about it.
In my personal opinion, the only way to find out what he wants is to ask in a genuinely understanding and compassionate way. Example, that does not mean you go up to the person and say “Hey buddy, do you like/love me or not?” It has to be more along the lines of expressing that you want to have a serious/genuine talk as to why he seems unhappy and then steering it in a way to ask if you being in his life is making him happy or sad. With that answer, you have to be prepared to respect his thoughts and opinions. Example, if he says he doesn’t see you two together then that means be a friend and not try to peruse it as if you are going to be married someday.