pisces man go with the flow
Reader Questions

Married Pisces

Flower Asks:


Hi.. I have read everything you have ever written about pisces man in your blog, and I’m biggest fan of yours. I wanted to ask you about a pisces that I love from last many years, whom unfortunately got engaged to a girl chosen by his family for him, he delayed his wedding for many years but got married recently to her due to continous pressure by his family to marry her. He has never said anything to me but I feel like he is not at all happy with all this.

My question is this Alan that in this situation where I feel like if he is not happy with his marriage should I continue to show my love and support to him as I have always done, hoping that someday he will find enough courage to leave everything and come back to me, or should I leave him on his own to deal with the mess that his life has become due to his indecisiveness.?


Wow, that’s a lot of reading you have done then as there must be more than a book’s worth of text here.

Now for your question, I think this heavily depends if the engagement was due to say a tradition or religious practice that prompted this all. This is as opposed to say two parents wanting two people to get married because of financial reasons or that they want to see grandchildren now. If it was for things like traditional reasons I personally would say you shouldn’t spend too much time hoping he will snap out of it, so to speak.

By the sounds of it, he doesn’t sound like the confrontational type. Example, if he was working at a job and getting mistreated he sounds like someone who would just take it as opposed to challenging authority. With that said, he probably wouldn’t ever leave unless something extremely bad happened such as the girl was a proven criminal or something.

I think we need to define what you mean by love and support. Example, do you mean as a friend where you will always be there for him? Sure, why not? Do you mean in a romantic way? That I would say is un-recommended. If I was to slip myself into his shoes with all these circumstances, I think the sense of loyalty and commitment would probably keep him with the person for a long time regardless of how unhappy he may be to a certain extent. Unless as I said it was something extreme that happened.

I don’t see anything wrong with supporting, but I think you are only setting yourself up for years of grueling stress and disappointment if you are only doing it in hopes that he would leave her and go to you.

Ideally all this conversation should have happened before he got married as you mentioned he never said anything to you where you have no real confirmation as to how he feels about wanting to be with you instead. And now that he is married this is one of those personal choices on whether or not you personally feel it’s appropriate to ask if he is happy with her and all.

Overall though, I would personally suggest that it is time to move on as the both of you kind of waited too long to say anything since he did tie the knot. Probably not the answer you want to hear, but I feel it’s the most realistic based on what you told me.


  • Flower November 1, 2015

    Wow thanks Alan, that was a quick and detailed reply. I don’t have words enough to describe how grateful I feel for your wise insight. What i was not getting about him was a sense of loyalty and commitment to his marriage, I didn’t think of it too much, but you opened my eyes to it. In all these sad years(6 years) that I spent waiting for him inspite of his silence, so many times i tried to move on, i met many people to replace him, but either no one matched up to him. Another thing that bothered me always that whenever i tried to leave him, i used to see dreams during sleep that I’m getting married to him. You could blame my too much belief on true dreams or spirituality that it convinced me always that he will return. Rather in these 6 years inspite of his subtle signs to show me that he liked me too, these dreams that i saw so much about him kept me tied to him.
    But you are right I guess. It’s literally finished now. Time to move on. Reality is bitter but clearer than all our wishes or dreams. Thank you Alan for everything. May God bless you and help you always as you do help others. Amen ?

  • Flower November 1, 2015

    And yes i read each and everything you ever wrote about Pisces man.. As i had so many waiting years that I spent in trying to understand his nature, and i read everything you wrote all these years. After finding your site I hardly visited any other site for Pisces man understanding.. ????

  • Alan November 1, 2015

    Thank you for your kind words Flower as it always gives me the energy to keep going. 😀

    6 years is a very long time to be waiting. I would interpret what you wrote is that you have a lot of love to give. But don’t forget, you should also have someone who is willing to give you that same amount of love back. It reminds of a quote I read that says

    “The easy part of life is finding someone to love. The hard part is finding someone to love you back”

    So don’t forget that it shouldn’t be a one way street as you should be receiving too. Hopefully you can now focus on the present and find the love you deserve.

  • Flower November 26, 2015

    Hi Alan… Thank you for always being there when we need your advice. For all of us ladies falling in love with mysterious Pisces men, u are like a life saver for us. But Alan as you are Pisces yourself and therefore posses all qualities of this astrological sign too, such as being very sensitive, caring, compassionate and also having tendency to become overwhelmed with other people’s feelings and pain. Alan i was just thinking that if you only answer the initial question of every female/ male like you always do, but you avoid getting tangled into long conversation that starts below every post/ Answer of you, in my opinion it will save you lots of energy and thinking exhaustion. You are so kind and generous as you tend to answer every question asked from you, but don’t you think that us females are emotional lots and our questions are never ending…

  • Alan November 27, 2015

    Thank you for your kind words as it made me smile. 🙂 Almost feels like you self-appointed yourself as the ambassador for all the people who have visited here.

    About answering questions, it was getting very overwhelming before when people would leave detailed and specific personal scenario questions on various threads. This was actually the post that started the trend at https://piscesview.com/how-do-i-know-if-a-pisces-man-likes-me/ I believe.

    That is why I invented the “Ask A Question” system and it has helped me a lot in being able to help people in a timely manner while not making the process an overwhelming one for myself to the point where it just drains me. So I have tried to only answer detailed questions this way where people will essentially have their own topic/situation of focus.

    I don’t really know of a better way at the moment as everyone is so different in terms of how much answers one needs to have the confidence to turn their situation around. Otherwise to me it’s like you could be just one block away from your destination but I just decided to leave you for whatever reason. That’s not a good feeling for me.

    I guess for me it’s kind of unavoidable in many ways where if I am drained or don’t have the energy then that is all I can give for the day sort of deal. Or if I have to take time off to re-energize then that’s simply what I would have to do.

    As well, my assumption is all the questions people ask are probably floating in the mind of someone else too. So helping that one person could mean helping another ten who are simply reading and not actually asking. Of course I don’t really have a way to tell if it’s actually working like that.

    Your concern is very much appreciated and I am always open to suggestions as to how to make things better. 😀

  • Flower November 28, 2015

    Thank you Alan for finding out time to answer me. I just hope that you continue with your good work always. I’m a practicing doctor so I know that people tend to ask too long questions from me regarding their illness, which is ofcourse due to their anxieties due to various circumstances that they are living in, and it really drains us while listening to all that. So in practice we get our habit to cut out the unnecessary details and reach to the authentic problem only which made the patient to seek our help. But I understand now that you as a compassionate Pisces have different way of operating. You don’t mind the lenghty details, repeated questions, or long enquiries as long as you are helping us. That shows your greatness, endurance and patience you have for troubled ones. It has increased my respect for you a lot more.. Simply you are marvellous!!! ????

  • Alan November 29, 2015

    I should thank people like you for having the courage to ask me the questions that you do while sharing your stories for everyone to learn from. So thank you all for allowing me to help you. 🙂 As long as the conversations aren’t like this then it is okay:

    I can imagine listening to all those stories at your practice would be tough. It’s in everyone’s best interest there to focus on the issue itself. Probably not a good idea to get you all sad if you have to use like a needle on someone…….. Can’t expect you to be the doctor and the psychologist as an example. Now I am waiting for your “doctorsview” site. 😀

  • Flower December 17, 2017

    Hi Alan,
    An update on my situation after a long time. I was texting to this cousin of my Pisces on fone when i asked about him and his family from her, when she suddenly told me that he has a one year son now. I was shocked, because maybe i had hoped against hope that he will not sustain physical relationship with his wife, that he would wait for me, wait for some miracle to happen so that we could be together again. In my so many emails in last two and half years since his marriage i had begged him to not sleep with her if he really loved me and if he saw any possibility for our future together. Alan i was shattered by the news. I still am deeply depressed. All these years while i was waiting for him , he was sleeping with his wife bringing babies and having normal marital life with her. I am devastated . My dreams are shattered, the hope for our future together is ruined with the news of him having a child with her. Right now im so gloomy that I have lost my ability to think clearly at all. Since the day i got this news I have cursed him so much, sent him so many abusing and tearful and furious emails. I feel like I have lost everything now. 8 years of my life went wasted waiting for him. I always thought he will come back to me, i was so wrong about him.

  • Alan December 19, 2017

    Oh dear. I always thought you decided to move on in a sense based on what I wrote and all. Sorry to hear that. It’s easier said than done but maybe this is one of those cases of replacing one habit with another. You say 8 years of your life wasted but that is also 8 years of experience and wisdom in what you went through too. Maybe you could use that knowledge to help others as well as an example.

    At the moment it’s probably better to vent out your frustrations too. It can probably be very therapeutic and you learn a lot about yourself.

  • Flower December 19, 2017

    Thank you Alan for answering. Im cool now. I took my frustration out by abusing and cursing him continuously for 10 days in fb messages and texting etc. I was just furious on the fact that while he would occasionally answer my some querry regarding his work etc, or send me some festival greetings, why didn’t he care or had courage to inform me that he had a child now. How many words would it have taken him to write to me that I should stop expecting from him because he has a family now? Just a single sentence was all that was needed to be sent by him. But he continued to recieve and read my messages like from last 6-7 years. God…
    Alan u know something, he never told me about his engagement, his friend told me after 3 months of his engagement, he didn’t inform me about his wedding, his wife told me after 3 days of their wedding, and he never told me about his child, his cousin told me after 1 year of the child being born… im to be blamed for everything i know, because I assumed that he loved me back. Alan just a simple question from you, how can be any Pisces man so clueless or reckless to destroy someone’s life like this? Yes i was a fool to take his silence for his consent, but why he never cared to stop me from following him?
    Can u imagine all these 2 and half years of his marriage i kept pleading to him to not make her pregnant in my messages, I begged him to not let me hear news of his wife having child from him. And the worst of my fears became reality… ?

  • Alan December 21, 2017

    I feel the complex yet very simple answer to that is that you in a sense fulfilled a need of sort for him where in his mind the way he approached it has very little to no consequence. That could be wanting your company just as an example. In this case I would be inclined to say he definitely wasn’t clueless about it.

    You may ask “how can people do that” and if you think about it almost everyone does it to a certain extent. Not as extreme as this of course. But to just use an example for the perspective has there ever been a time where you needed/wanted someone’s say attention or offering where you felt guilty taking more or didn’t want the responsibility of putting them back in a position they were in before they gave you whatever it may be? So to do so after you didn’t want to necessarily show it was you who was taking more where instead you kept it a secret as you continued to take whatever it may be by hiding this fact?

    Almost everyone has done that as a kid for example. Like there you could ask why would the kid keep taking say money from someone knowing it makes them poorer each time and it simply comes down to they are focused more on themselves and don’t value the consequences. Do you think he would have continued if he knew in his mind the entire community/world would scold him for this? Of course not.

  • Tbull December 23, 2017

    I recently discovered my Pisces husband of 17 years and father of my children has been having an affair with a woman overseas as he is stationed there until next month. It’s been a very bizarre and mind blowing situation. The only one who isn’t devastated seems to be him. Since I found out about this woman and spoken to her to gather the truth that he refused to give me he has been nothing but nasty to me and completely turned his back on me and the kids. It like he pretends we don’t exist. Also his ego is so massive like he is above us now. To top it all off this woman doesn’t even speak English and she is an escort. It’s like he’s living in a fantasy world and only he and she matter at all. He’s completely wrapped up in love with this woman. I can’t even comprehend what has happened he is like a complete opposite man of what he use to be. I thought he got into some drugs or midlife crisis or depression or something but I’m not sure what happened to him but I do know he is not the same man I knew. Can someone help to enlighten me because he comes back next month and we begin this divorce process. I don’t want it to be nasty however it’s looking like that is the only option in order to protect myself and the children. He was able to get online to send this woman flowers while he was deployed for her birthday in October however the kids are still waiting on the clothes he was suppose to send them that same month. And he just informed them their Christmas presents they will be getting in Jan….but yet he’s spending the holiday with her. This man literally told my 12 year old that he was with this woman while he was on the phone with him and proceeded to tell him how they haven’t decided on getting married just yet like hes not still married to me, and this seemed so normal of a conversation to him. He feels no shame, no remorse, he blames me for everything he is doing and has done. He has nothing good to say to or about me at all. I can’t seem to understand how falling in love with this woman has changed him to this point but it’s crazy and sad especially for the kids who don’t understand why he’s lying and doesn’t call or text them. Any advice or insight you guys? What can I look forward to or prepare for next month when he returns and we begin this face to face battle? Thanks.

  • Flower December 23, 2017

    Really sorry to hear about your situation dear. Its way more worse than have read anything before. 17 years of marriage is a long time to have spent with a man and bringing his kids too. I can really feel the pain that you are feeling right now. Alan is the expert here and he can answer u and guide you more accurately. But if im not wrong as purpose of this website is to educate all on solving problems with a Pisces personality, so you would be required to put your question separately so that Alan can answer you individually too. Go to “Ask Question ” in menu of this website, copy paste your question there, or rewrite it again adding more details to it if u feel like.
    My prayers and best wishes are with you Tbull..

  • Tbull December 24, 2017

    Thank You but for some reason I am unable to post under the ask a question section, I get all the way through but then when I hit send nothing happens at all, my question doesn’t get added.

  • Alan December 27, 2017

    The ask a question form doesn’t post automatically as it sends an e-mail to process and I have to manually read and post the answers in the order they are sent. I currently don’t see a Tbull e-mail. There are things like a captcha you need to pass for it to send as well. But yes, that is the process if you wanted to ask a question for your own scenario as I can address each person with their own posts this way. I might actually change it up for the new years though to make it more streamlined.

  • Tbull December 27, 2017

    Hello. I just sent another one with my question. I filled everything in and did the captcha….did it come through to you? I’m not sure if I’m doing something wrong or not. Thanks

  • Alan December 28, 2017

    Yes it did and your question is up.

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