Hi.. I have read everything you have ever written about pisces man in your blog, and I’m biggest fan of yours. I wanted to ask you about a pisces that I love from last many years, whom unfortunately got engaged to a girl chosen by his family for him, he delayed his wedding for many years but got married recently to her due to continous pressure by his family to marry her. He has never said anything to me but I feel like he is not at all happy with all this.
My question is this Alan that in this situation where I feel like if he is not happy with his marriage should I continue to show my love and support to him as I have always done, hoping that someday he will find enough courage to leave everything and come back to me, or should I leave him on his own to deal with the mess that his life has become due to his indecisiveness.?
Wow, that’s a lot of reading you have done then as there must be more than a book’s worth of text here.
Now for your question, I think this heavily depends if the engagement was due to say a tradition or religious practice that prompted this all. This is as opposed to say two parents wanting two people to get married because of financial reasons or that they want to see grandchildren now. If it was for things like traditional reasons I personally would say you shouldn’t spend too much time hoping he will snap out of it, so to speak.
By the sounds of it, he doesn’t sound like the confrontational type. Example, if he was working at a job and getting mistreated he sounds like someone who would just take it as opposed to challenging authority. With that said, he probably wouldn’t ever leave unless something extremely bad happened such as the girl was a proven criminal or something.
I think we need to define what you mean by love and support. Example, do you mean as a friend where you will always be there for him? Sure, why not? Do you mean in a romantic way? That I would say is un-recommended. If I was to slip myself into his shoes with all these circumstances, I think the sense of loyalty and commitment would probably keep him with the person for a long time regardless of how unhappy he may be to a certain extent. Unless as I said it was something extreme that happened.
I don’t see anything wrong with supporting, but I think you are only setting yourself up for years of grueling stress and disappointment if you are only doing it in hopes that he would leave her and go to you.
Ideally all this conversation should have happened before he got married as you mentioned he never said anything to you where you have no real confirmation as to how he feels about wanting to be with you instead. And now that he is married this is one of those personal choices on whether or not you personally feel it’s appropriate to ask if he is happy with her and all.
Overall though, I would personally suggest that it is time to move on as the both of you kind of waited too long to say anything since he did tie the knot. Probably not the answer you want to hear, but I feel it’s the most realistic based on what you told me.