pisces man personality symbolic
Reader Questions

Should I call him or not?

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Ev Asks:

I rephrased my question to be more general, because I see you want to post it on the site. So I’ve been dating a Pisces guy for a while and after being so needy and cute in the first weeks he got distant. He was going through some hard times, and even though I helped him I think that wasn’t a good idea because he was tired and I was around him all the time. So he got dissapointed of me (as he said) and he said he just likes me not loves me, although he wanted to have some time alone, maybe 1-2 weeks and to fix after that. I was hurt so I ended the relationship. So we havent spoken for weeks, and than i called to ask him out, and he replied ok, sure and apparently was happy. So we met, and havent talked about our fight, I acted as a friend, but since than he hasn’t contacted me. Should I try to call him again? I’m not sure if this is a good idea, since if he still likes me, than I made the first step already for him.

Thank you for your answer

Ev,

It sounds like he doesn’t fully appreciate you to the level that is ideal in a relationship by most people’s standards. It almost reminds me of examples such as how a couple dating can seem so marvelous together. Then once they move and live in together everything changes as you see the person everyday while seeing sides of them they would normally hide or mask in a way to the general public.

Whether or not you should call him is up to you as I am not sure if he has done things that seem very over the top caring for you as an example to make you want to pursue him. My general thought is you have kind of seen each other at a peak already in a sense. Like if it doesn’t work out in this simple situation of just being around each other a lot then how in the world is this going to work if you are married together per se? If the solution is to completely avoid each other for three days a week is that the kind of relationship you want? Everyone is different of course.

Think about it for you too. You mentioned you were hurt so you left. That is your personal prerogative of course. But what I would think is if a dispute like this can cause you two to break up then are you two truly the ideal fit? I don’t think anyone can change just like that without some serious life altering scenarios as an example.

In my opinion, with a real genuine connection there shouldn’t be a need for this cat and mouse or playing hard to get kind of thing.

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2 Comments

  • Ev January 19, 2016

    The funny thing is I still feel that he appreciated me, because before he changed his mind he was always calling me and texting me, and told me he feels he’s a special person when he’s with me, and than a couple of days and this turned out. I had the feeling that he was hurt for something that he didn’t tell me. And I think your right, that was something in my behaviour which you only get to know if you are together all the time. This would have been nice if we wouldn’t have been rushed into it. He told me that with his ex girlfriend he was just friends for months and got together only after he knew her totally. But my case was absolutely different, we got together immediately after the first dates. I even had a feeling that he’s so into me for the first sight (he told me that all the time) and this shouldn’t last too much because he doesn’t know me at all. I just asked you because I’ve read that it’s quite common for pisces to feel sufocated in such a situation and say they need space, but actually it’s not so serious and it can be fixed. The thing that we haven’t spoken for weeks: I think he wanted me to contact him because before this he was the one always calling me. But I felt that after what he said I need to calm down too. About the last when I called him and we met, we were both really nice to each other, and I’ve seen that he was sorry for hurting me than, he got too close to me and slowly gave to kisses on my cheeks and I felt he’s curious that I still care for him or not. The thing is maybe he’s just felt guilty of hurting me because he changed his mind so unexpected and when I called he got happy that I got over it. We were talking about he’s fears again, this stressfull situation which I mentioned still continues to him. I’m a Cancer and if I think to myself I act the same with someone I know I don’t want anymore, but I also don’t want to hurt him. But we Cancers have our feeling on our face most of the time, this pisces guy acted games with me so I was confused all the time.

  • Alan January 23, 2016

    Generally speaking, I personally feel that a person like me saying “I need my space” in this kind of situation is basically saying they need assistance but don’t know who can help them. As well, if we were to think about this from a stereotypical view on how I read that many people describe my personality then it should be extremely odd as to why he would be so vocal in telling you that he is so into you and such. Because a person like me with a more reserved personality who is taking this seriously would take things very slow and show things like that with actions as opposed to words.

    So to me, in many ways it feels like and makes sense that you are a quick fix to his emotional issues at the moment. Example, having the connection and compassion of a female in a guy’s life can be like someone giving you a bed if you have been sleeping on the floor for awhile. Therefore, even if the bed wasn’t perfect for him it’s still better than sleeping on the floor. But they wouldn’t treat the bed with extreme care and all. That’s the kind of feeling I get from reading your comments personally about the situation.

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