What to do about Pisces man

Star Asks:

I dont know what to do about Pisces man I like. I met him Spring 2015. It was by accident I went into a store where he was working because I had lost something sentimental and a strong gut feeling told me I would find replacement in that store, not expecting to meet anyone. I found him very attractive, handsome. He smiled but was nervous. I felt a strange connection to him I cannot explain, a kindred feeling. I went to look thru the store n found similar item that I had lost! He got the key to the glass case and I paid for the item, briefly telling him what were the chances of finding replacement item when I’d nearly had original item for nearly 20 years. I had never thought when Id lost the special edition item that I’d find another one especially in a small town store. I left the store happy and was walking home when I heard a voice say, “Would you like a ride?”

It was him. I dont accept rides from people I barely know, but I felt safe with him. He told me about his mom and home as he drove me. He said he had seen me a few times walking in town. He smelled really nice, like my favorite aftershave splash. (I found out later he wears it and bought him some for his last birthday.) I didnt say much, let him do the talking. He told me he was a Pisces. He didnt ask for my # and I didnt ask for his. But I told one of my close friends about this handsome guy. She asked me his name, when I told her she said she knew him and he is a very nice guy. She doesnt say that about everyone. But I had been avoiding going into the store because I liked him, was shy and also felt afraid of getting hurt. Fall came and I had things on consignment in the store. One day I went to volunteer at the store.

The proprietress had told me different people work the counter different days. I didnt know it, but Pisces guy was working that day. He flirted with me the whole time I was dusting and vacuuming. He would smile and turn red. At times he was very forward. It surprised me but since he was charming, I smiled back. One time he got really close to me and then customers came in so he moved away to help them. He knew I had walked so he offered to give me a ride home. He asked for my #, and I asked him why he did not ask before. He told me it was because he thought I probably had a boyfriend.
I said no I dont have a boyfriend. We sat in his truck and only talked a long time. He didnt make any moves. The next day he texted me. I texted I had to get a battery for my car. He texted he could help me get a better price than where I was originally going to buy it and he could take me to go buy it. He did find a better price so I saved money and he even put the battery in for me. I told him thank you. Then he took me to a thrift store which we both love recycling.

He wouldnt take money for gas so I treated him to lunch. Then we went grocery shopping, when he looked sadly at a late teens girl when I could feel a twinge and knew I liked him. Later he told me when he was younger he had married an 18 year old but a few years later she left him and divorced, so I knew girl in the market reminded him of her because his ex’s description fit the looks of the gal in market. He has been through similar thing of being hurt by a marriage partner as I had. He introduced me to his family and friends as his girlfriend. My friend she told me she felt he and I were both afraid of being hurt as we had been both hurt in the past, and I didnt tell her anything he had told me. She was sad when I told her I had broken up with him. He had said something that really hurt me, and instead of clearing it up right away, I crawled into my shell and disappeared. He texted me for days I wouldnt respond. When he called me I wouldnt answer. He had his friends try to talk to me, I said nothing just retreated into my sensitive Cancer shell. He texted that I couldnt come into his life and just vanish like that. I texted he had hurt me but didnt say how. It was hard for me to tell him.

I didnt want him to know how deep my feelings for him were. He texted how would I know if it would work out for us when I didmt even give us a chance long enough to find out. He kept texting. I had some hangups I just couldnt get over; it wasnt him, it was stuff from how I was raised etc. I feel too I messed up at the start with Pisces guy. I made my mistakes. We got back together again late summer 2016 but that second time he said he wasnt wanting a relationship. Perhaps I hurt him breaking up with him the first time, I dont know. He keeps his feelings about me deep inside, I only can see glimpses of it when I look into his whirlpool eyes. Another time he told me a relationship should sort pf just happen.

One time he texted,”whoa slow down maybe there is something there that will turn into a relationship.” I got him on the museum membership board, when I heard he made vice president I sent him a congratulations card. I have ran into Pisces guy a few times at the thrift store and market and we have talked, he tells me his problems. I prefer to listen more to him than talk about myself unless it is about history, art or science I dont talk about myself. He has made it clear he wants me back and that he is strongly sexually attracted to me but also has learnt a lot from me about history, science and art.

He even asked me when was the last time I had sex which I told him the honest truth it has been a very long time. He asked me if I was dating anyone I told him no as I dont want to chance getting mixed up with the wrong person/s. He nodded and said “same here”. He has been texting me and flirts with me when I run into him, gives me puppy eyes or longing stare with smile. He texts me making it clear he wants to be intimate. It is very temptimg and I just do not know what to do. I have very strong deep feelings for him, but not only can I see my weaknesses I see some of his flaws I find irksome. It is hard enough working on my own character defects I dont intend to change him, people have to be accepted as they are.

I cannot bring myself to tell him how deeply I feel about him. I sent him poem, another time I sent him a small painting of us by the sea. He inspires me. When we were together he would let me play his expensive collector’s stringed instrument he said he had never even played and that my music sounded like gypsy music and I remind him of a flower child. But I sense I messed things up the first time between us.

Would appreciate your input. Thank you.

Star,

I am actually a little confused as to what kind of input you are seeking as I am unsure as to what exactly he did to you that caused a break up. It sounded like everything was a fantasy with what you wrote and then all of a sudden you just broke up with something he said which seems odd. Like there I don’t understand the severity of it but would imagine you should have to be 100% okay with whatever he did now first and foremost.

It’s a little conflicting to hear where your struggle is telling him how you feel about him in a deeper sense because it sounds like he is, for the lack of a better word, crazy about you. I can only imagine the reason for this is because you are insecure or scared in a way of some kind character trait he has as you did explicitly mention there are stuff about him you find “irksome” per se. With that in mind it almost feels like the question shouldn’t be how to tell him but rather do you want to settle in a sense with those things you find “irksome” where the positives outweigh the negative?

As you say no one is perfect so embracing the positives and negatives comes with the package I guess you can say. Unless I am reading it wrong too it sounds like you are worried if he would accept your professed love to him but at the same time you mentioned he explicitly mentioned about wanting to be intimate and all which would automatically negate that. So to me again it feel like your fear is more about whether those strong negative qualities is something you should overlook and that is something you would need to answer for yourself before going forward.