pisces man go with the flow
Reader Questions

Will he be back

Esther Asks:

Hi Alan

I’m a Gemini, I’ve read Pisces and Gemini relationship is very challenging, it’s true but I give it a try anyway
We met online, from game lol, he was very direct and flirty and feels like he already know I’m the one
He was so funny, very sweet and gentle, caring to my every problems, I grew on him and I love him, he said he love me too and seems genuine
I was pretty rational at that time since we are 11k km away
And also we speak different language, he’s a German barely speak English and I’m an Indonesian, speak average English
Distance and communication are issues but I believe if both of us committed, everything will be ok
I told him not to waste my time or play with me and if he wanna try this unique relationship, I will too, so we both committed, that’s a year ago
He want to visit me last December but due to horrible accident he had at September the plan was postponed
He was in comma for 2 weeks, I never felt so sad, very much devastated, but I couldnt come to visit him because financially unable
It’s a miracle he survives without major damage, now he can walk again and ready to back to work
We were planning before he has to go back to work, he will come here to visit me , I did ask him if he could make it next week, so we can celebrate his birthday, he was very stress at that time because he doesn’t have much money to come to visit me, just enough for plane ticket but he said he will try and work it out
I even offered him to use my money from my saving, but he refused
That was a week ago
And that’s the last time we chat
He never replied my text until now
I read Pisces man disappearing when he feel very exhausted and stressed out
He did mention a week before that he was very stress and can’t take it anymore, my response was telling him so it’s a perfect time to visit me and give yourself a break after all the hard work he did at rehabilitation when he learnt to walk again , I thought I was Encouraging him
He asked me how will I be I’d he cant make it to come to visit me at his birthday, I honestly replied I will be very sad, maybe that’s too make him more stress
But now he just never replied to all texts I’ve sent, it’s really hurting and confusing to me wether he really love me or not, he is very much plan future with me when I just want us to meet first but I do intrigued by the idea of having future with him
My question is will he be back and what should I do, I love him, It’s so frustrating not be able to reach him, even he didn’t answer to my phone call, I’m Gemini, we need communication, I’m rational and he’s emotional, feels like I’m going crazy soon , please help…


Based on what you wrote I was actually curious if you knew for certain that the accident was actually real or if you simply based everything on what he said. Example, you saw actual medical records and all or you saw actual footage of him doing rehab. Because it sounds a little too coincidental plus it would match up with later on where it seems like he always has an excuse to not see you. Basically a red flag in my view.

Generally speaking, if there was ever a time that a person like me needs to disappear it’s because no one is giving me the energy/support that I actually need but is instead continuing to take in a sense. An example would be imagine you were stressed in a car and a person kept asking you, in a very nice way, how you are doing or when you will be available over and over. Regardless of how nice it is it is still in a sense taking your energy so one would instead want to “disappear.”

Your situation sounds a little different as his actions don’t add up. From what I gather you haven’t really met this guy for real yet he promises all these future plans with you. When you want to visit in-person there is always an excuse. To me he doesn’t sound real/truthful and it would go into the topic of are you truly in love with this guy or the idea of loving him? Speaking for myself, If I was really into someone and we were in a relationship of sort even if I “disappeared” I would at least tell you where you could find me. To me just saying he was stressed and say ignores you for two weeks sounds like an excuse to me.

You even said yourself here that he has all these plans where you just want to meet first. I know for things like games too it’s very easy to have a perception of someone because people tend to imagine what the other person is through say a fictional avatar. People fill in the blanks with their strong desires to love someone as opposed seeing it for what it is based on the facts. In this case though with what you wrote I would be very cautious of him. In my opinion, what you should do is meet in a way first that is virtually excuse proof to see if he is a dud or not. For example virtually every phone nowadays has the option to video chat. If one refuses that then something is wrong for your situation as an example. Will he be back? I would say yes but I don’t know if that is a wise decision to keep pursuing if he refuses to do the simplest things to bring the relationship forward. Actions speak louder than words.


  • Esther March 16, 2018

    Hi Alan, thanks for replying me, but it’s a bit too late I think, last Wednesday he completely blocked me from whatsapp, it crushed me even more, but I manage to be okay.
    Yes, there were proves and evidence his brother sent to me , when he had accident , I could really tell that is really his brother bcuz he understands English good,very different personality compare to my bf, even though he used my bf’s mobile phone to send picts which I thought maybe he doesn’t want to give his numbers for personal reason, but he’s very caring brother, his brother told me he replied to me bcuz his brother told him about me and mention that he loved this woman he met online.
    Yes we used whatsapp videocall sometimes, I rather use message tbh because I hardly understand what he’s trying to say and even for simple English question, he mostly didnt understand, I use alot Google Translate when we chat, while I also learn German language online, it’s very hard language but I really want to be able to understand and speak to him. He in the same time really annoyed if I told him to use literal text rather than verbally speaking, but we do have fun when we chat thru phone, bcuz we can laugh even though we hardly understand.
    He has low education background but very talented person in other things, he can fix alot of things himself, electronic etc, I admire him bcuz of it
    He sent me a lot of music video, he loves music, he also sent pictures of his house, his hobby, his hometown, even his daughter picture and I can tell he’s very proud of her, I take all that as he want to share his world to me
    First time we chat he told me that his ex wife cheat on him and how badly he hurt and series of girlfriends after that just using him to the point he wasn’t interesting to look another gf, for me it’s a bit of justification from him to me that he is good guy, which I’m not take it seriously bcuz any marriage that failed is bcuz both party screw up, not only one side to blame.
    I didn’t ask much of his past life since I don’t think it does good to me and vice versa, but he does gets very jealous if some guy talk to me or I talk to few guys at the game
    ( we met at war game online)
    for any topic, kinda pissed me off tbh but I try to respect his feelings .
    I do love him and the idea of having future with him sound very good, my friend said even to good to be true, So I let my guard down.
    I’ve read there’s mature Pisces and immature one, so maybe I have bad luck on meeting the immature and manipulative one , or just a player, a very good player though and when he can’t coupe, he just fk off everything and left

  • Esther March 17, 2018

    Hi Alan, I’m just curious now, why you said he will be back? Why you think he will be back? Isn’t that he has to deal and explain to me on the reason why he disappear if he ever contact me again..
    I just don’t want to get hurt again

  • Alan March 19, 2018

    That whole injury part still sounds odd to me. Unless I am interpreting it wrong too it sounded like he wasn’t going to tell you about the injury and that his brother did it on his own will based on what he heard about you? It’s not consistent with someone who is in love with you in my personal view. Especially if he was legitimately planning a future with you and all.

    I said he will be back because to me the relationship sounds like a pure emotional need from his standpoint as opposed to a realistic relationship with a plan. Therefore, he will go back to you when you as the solution for that makes the most sense. In my personal opinion that would mean you should walk the other way but that is a personal choice of course.

  • Esther March 19, 2018

    Hi Alan
    As much as the injury part is indeed confusing, my gut telling me it does really happened, I don’t think man can fake up so much drama so real like that with evidence too, but the real truth is I never know for sure.
    And yes about walking away, I already made up my mind about it since he blocked me from whatsapp, even it hurts so much the way he treated me in the end, I can say now I’m feeling better having not to deal with his emotions on daily basis.
    I think the future plan he want to have with me is part of his ideal dream, his fantasy, well.. Pisces is a dreamer they said , but the reality speak different thing.
    And like you said, Action speak louder than words, his action towards me shows it all.
    He will be back or not, I don’t really care anymore, but thank you for the insight

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